Growing Up Fast
by Endzi
Summary: AU: What happens if you come home but you find out that your home really isn't a home? For Meredith Grey it means she needs to grow up fast and learn how to keep going. She gets help from her friends and a certain family, will they become her family?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is the first story I had written and I wanted to share it in hopes that I will be able to move on with my other story I started.

I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any characters. And please remember this is a story of fiction but there will be lots of drama and there is abuse so please do not read if that will upset you.

_I remember when I was young I use to wish to be someone else. My brother would always tell me that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Of course at the time I didn't know what he really meant so I would just look at him and say, "I can always paint it"._

_Yesterday I overheard some girls talking and one of them said they wish they were me. I wonder if they would feel the same way if they could take a peek into my life and see what I have gone through in the last 2 years. Would they feel the same way?_

"Can you believe it, we're one step closer to being seniors?"

"Iz can you lay off the excitement, it's too early." Mark groaned.

"Mark come on we only have 2 more years and then we can go to college how can you not be excited about that?"

Mark just groaned again. Derek chuckled at his two friends as he spoke. "Iz, I think Mark is just trying to figure out how he is going to make it through this year first."

Izzie laughed with Derek as the teacher came into the room. "Alright everyone it's time to start class. I'm Mr. Jacobs and welcome to your sophomore year." The teacher went on talking about what was in store for the year and handing out text books. Half way through class they were interrupted by a knock on the door. The teacher went to the door and after a few minutes entered the room with a girl following behind. "Class we have a new student. Please welcome Meredith Grey." There was a low grumble from the class and then the teacher continued. "Ms. Grey please take the seat next to Mr. Shepherd in the back."

Meredith briefly looked up to see where he had instructed her to sit and made her way to the back of the room. Once she got to the table she took her seat without looking the other occupants in the eyes. She pulled out her notebook and immediately started taking notes.

The bell rang to signal the end of class and all the students headed for the door. Mark grabbed Izzie's hand and started for the door as well while Derek followed behind.

Izzie looked behind her and saw Meredith slowly making her way behind them. She took her hand out of Mark's and waited for her to catch up. "I'm Izzie Stephens, that's Mark Sloan my boyfriend, and the other with the blue eyes is Derek Shepherd. Where are you from?"

Meredith stopped and averted her eyes but she remembered Izzie and she knew if she didn't talk to her Izzie would not leave her alone. "You don't have to be nice to me."

Izzie was taken back and Mark and Derek stopped at the sound of Izzie's voice. "Excuse me?"

"I said you don't have to be nice to me."

"Look I know it stinks being new in school but you don't have to be rude. You heard Mr. Jacobs we are going be lab partners all year so I thought it would be nice if we could at least get to know each other a little."

"I'm sorry, I just…I'm…you know me already."

"What do you mean I know you already?"

The warning bell rang and Meredith smiled to herself because she didn't have to answer any other questions. "Sorry, I gotta go. I can't be late. Goodbye Iz."

Derek and Mark where watching the interaction before them. Derek knew Izzie could be a little overwhelming to anyone but there was something about Meredith that drew him in and because of this he was listening and watching very closely. Something about her was familiar and he could see pain in her eyes and it made him want to know more about her but he could tell by her stance that she wasn't going to let anyone in.

Izzie was grateful that Meredith had responded to her and there was something about her that told her she needed a friend. She was wondering however about her response. She had said she already knew her. She figured she would find out more later as she made her way to Mark and Derek and the three of them headed to their next classes.

Lunch time came and Derek, Mark, and Izzie were sitting at a table eating. "Look at them they are so…"

"What are you talking about Iz?" Derek asked as he followed Izzie's gaze.

She was looking across the yard to where a big tree stood. Leaning against it were some other students. "They give the school a bad name. They only show up half the time and I bet they will all fail anyway. Trouble makers." Izzie said the last part under her breath.

"They may be troublemakers but they do throw some pretty good parties. As a matter of fact there is one Saturday night. Do you guys want to come?"

"Sounds good to me. Did you talk to Alex?"

"Mark Sloan, you promised me a movie Saturday night."

"We can go Sunday, come on baby it's the first party of the year."

"You better be taking me to a movie or it will be the last time you get a kiss from me." Izzie said pointing to Mark.

"Ok Iz how about an early movie, we can be fashionably late like you say?"

Izzie thought for a moment and decided that would be ok since she also wanted to go to the party. She nodded to Mark and then her gaze again went to the tree. "That poor girl."

"Now what?" Derek and Mark both said as they followed Izzie's gaze. "I wanted to be friends with her so she wouldn't fall in with the wrong crowd. I should have insisted on lunch."

They watched as one of the guys standing by the tree approached Meredith. She was by herself sitting away from the group in the grass.

"Hey there."

"It's you."

"Who did you think it would be?"

"You said you didn't want us talking during school."

"Meri don't be like this."

"Don't be like what Finn, you are the one that said it?"

"Whatever. Look why don't you come over and have lunch with us? I'll even introduce you to all my friends."

"I'm fine here thank-you. I have to finish this chapter."

"It's the first day of school and I want you to meet my friends now get up."

Meredith saw the anger in his eyes and not wanting to draw attention to herself she knew she needed to go with him. He quickly stood and pulled her up. She flinched slightly as he helped her up. Once she had collected her things she followed him to his friends and allowed him to introduce her.

"I wonder how she can stand to where those long sleeves and pants. I mean it's like 90 degrees out her today."

"She has fair skin maybe she burns easily." The table got quiet as Mark and Izzie turned to Derek. "What?"

"Derek how do you know she has fair skin?"

"She is our lab partner and I have a couple other classes with her. I've seen her around."

"Right. Mark did you notice what type of skin she has?"

"No."

Izzie looked back to Derek. "That's what I thought. Derek do we need to have a talk?"

Derek shook his head as the bell rang. "Saved by the bell. Mark I'll see you at practice and don't forget we are meeting Alex outside by the field before practice to go over some plays. Iz I'll see you later." Derek finished as he walked away from his friends to head to his next class.

Meredith finished her first day with no problems. The only class she had to have any interactions with the other students was her biology class and that was first period so she was able to get over it by the end of the day. She had already gone to her locker and was on her way to meet Finn by the bleachers where he had told her to meet him after school.

"Hey Meri how was your first day baby?" Finn asked as he walked up and forcefully kissed her.

Meredith shoved him off. "Shut up, do you have it?"

"What about me Meri?"

She reached into her pocket and handed him the money. "I always give you what you ask."

Finn handed her a small plastic bag which she put into her purse. "Not everything Meri. You know it would be cheaper for you if you just gave me what I really want." Finn said as he grabbed her again and kissed her.

"Get off of me Finn." Meredith said again as she pushed him away.

Finn went to slap her as a hand caught his wrist. "Leave her alone."

"Alex?"

"Leave her alone Finn."

"I don't have to listen to you Karev. If Meri wants me around I will be besides I can satisfy her in more ways than one."

Alex punched him. Finn stumbled backwards but didn't fall and he lunged at Alex.

Meredith watched the interaction and when she saw Finn hit Alex she was knocked out of her shock of seeing him. "Leave him alone. Stop it."

All of the sudden Meredith saw Derek and Mark come up and pulled the two guys apart. Derek tried to be the voice of reason. "That's enough." The two were still struggling against their hold. "Alex if the coach sees you fighting he'll bench you."

This calmed Alex down and he stopped struggling. "You better leave her alone Finn."

Finn had stopped fighting and Mark had loosened his grip so Finn shrugged him off. "I'm done, I don't need this. Meri let me know when you need me again and I'll be more than happy to satisfy you." He again kissed her and walked off after she slapped him.

Derek had let go of Alex who was now facing Meredith. "You said you were done."

Meredith had fire in her eyes and was only focusing on Alex when she spoke. "What I do with my life and who I chose to be around is no concern of yours."

"I told Jason I would always look after you and I am going to keep that promise."

At the mention of his name tears came to Meredith's eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. "Don't you dare say his name. You are not my brother anymore; you lost that right when you left."

"I didn't have a choice Mer. I'm sorry but I'm here now and I am not going to let you get involved with him again."

"You left me, just like he did, just like my father did, you have no right to judge. How I choose to live my life is my business Alex!"

"I am not judging you Mer. And I'm not just going to sit here and watch you hurt yourself, Jason wouldn't…"

Alex didn't get to finish because Meredith quickly slapped him across the face. "I told you not to say his name. You are not a part of my life anymore. I have two years left and then I'm gone and how I choose to spend those years and who I chose to spend them with is my business. Leave me alone." Meredith finished yelling at Alex and ran off.

"Run Mer just like you always do!" Alex shouted after her but she never stopped.

Derek and Mark looked at each other and then turned to Alex. Derek was the one who spoke. "What was that about?"

"Nothing, let's get to practice." Alex said and walked off to the locker room to get changed with Derek and Mark following.

Meredith ran as far as she could before she lost her breath. She decided to go to the park down the street from her house because she didn't want to go home yet. She found a spot under a tree and sat down. At first she watched the children playing and the parents interacting with them. More tears came to her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. She then decided to get some homework done before she had to head home so she pulled out her books hoping she would be distracted from her thoughts.

Back at the practice field. "Alright, that's it. Everyone hit the showers. Shepherd, Sloan, Karev get over here."

The three jogged up to the coach. "Yes coach?"

"Did you get those plays worked out?"

They looked at each other and Derek spoke. "No coach we didn't get a chance yet."

"I know it's the first day of school but you three can't slack off this year. Shepherd you are up for captain next year and if you don't perform this year someone else is going to take it. And you Karev you looked terrible out there today. You were distracted, whatever it is you better get over it. And you Sloan…"

"Yes coach?"

"Hit the showers all of you."

They walked back to the locker room and quickly showered and finished getting changed. Then they headed to their cars. "Sorry guys how about we go over those plays tomorrow?"

"Sounds good." Mark said seeing Izzie standing by his car he smiled and turned back to Derek and Alex. "I gotta go; I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Derek and Alex both said their goodbyes to Mark and Izzie when Derek turned back to Alex. "You need a ride home?"

"Yeah thanks."

They got in Derek's car and headed to Alex's house. "So you know Meredith?"

"Yeah and so do you."

"How do I know her?"

"She lives down the street from me. We all went to junior high together. She had the pink hair in eighth grade."

Derek thought about who Alex had just described. After a minute he remembered. "I do remember her. She was quiet and always seemed to stay away from everyone. What happened to her?"

"She's never been one for words and she would only hang around and talk to Jason."

"Jason, isn't that the name she told you not to say?"

"Yeah." Alex said. He wanted to tell Derek and Mark what had happened thinking maybe they could help him watch out for Meredith but he knew how much she hated other people knowing her business so he decided to keep it quiet a little longer. "Hey stop the car."

"What?"

"Stop the car. That's Mer." Alex pointed out the window to her. She was still sitting in the park.

"You want me to offer her a ride home?"

"No, she won't take it."

"Ok then why did I stop the car?" Once his question left his lips the two watched as she packed her stuff up and started to walk down the street.

"She's only three houses down from me. I can't believe I didn't know she was back."

"Back?"

"Ray told us she went to California to live with her grandmother."

"Who is Ray?"

"Her stepfather. Look I know you're trying to help but this is something I think I need to handle on my own. Thanks for the ride Derek." Alex got out of the car and closed the door now that Derek had pulled into his driveway.

"You're welcome Alex; just remember if you need to talk you know where to find me." Derek said out the window. He watched Alex nod and then walk into his house. He pulled out of the drive way and started down the street. Sure enough he saw her. She had made it to her house and he looked back at Alex's realizing he was right, it was three houses away. He watched her stop at the front door as if she was preparing herself to go in. She took a deep breath before opening the door and disappearing. Once she was gone from his sight Derek felt a pang in his heart. He knew there was something about her that made him want to know more about her and what had happened with Alex and this Jason person. Once he got home he started his homework and figured he'd just have to trust that Alex would let him know if he needed help. And he knew he always had biology class to get to know her better.

Meredith made it home and once she walked into the house she knew she had made it in too late. As soon as the door closed his voice rang out.

"Damn it where have you been, you were suppose to make supper tonight."

"I'm sorry Ray, I was doing homework and I lost track of time."

Ray appeared in the hallway. "Well let's go eat, I ordered pizza." Ray grabbed her arm and tried to pull her towards the dining room.

Meredith pulled her arm away. "I just need to put my books upstairs, I'll…I'll be down in a minute." Meredith started for the stairs.

"I said it was time to eat. Just put your bag down and come eat with your father."

Meredith snapped around. "You are not my father."

"What did you say to me?" Ray asked as he caught up to Meredith on the bottom landing.

"I said you are not my father."

Ray hit her across the face and she fell back into the wall. "How dare you speak to me like that? After everything I have done for you don't you dare speak to me like that."

"You haven't done anything for me you are just someone to keep my mother's bed warm for when she finally decides to come home. Now leave me alone." Meredith tried to push past him and continue up the stairs.

Ray stopped her and pushed her, this time she lost her balance and fell down the couple stairs she had climbed. She landed on the floor and yelled out in pain. "Are you going to cry? Are you going to run to your mommy Meri?"

Meredith stood holding her wrist. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry so she just stared at him. "I am going to my room."

"Good you worthless whore, I don't even know why I asked your mother to bring you back here." He stopped as he saw her start up the steps and then he yelled after her. "You little whore; it should have been you not Jason."

Meredith finished up the stairs, slammed her door, and turned the lock. She made her way to the bed and collapsed. She didn't even bother to put different clothes on she just buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

The next day she woke with a sore wrist. She knew it wasn't broken but she suspected it was sprained. She made herself get out of bed and made her way to her dresser. When she looked at herself in the mirror she saw the bruise on her face and decided she would stay home from school. Instead of trying to cover it up plus it would give her wrist a chance to heal a little. She waited until she heard the front door close before she made her way downstairs. When she got downstairs she saw the housekeeper had arrived. "Good morning Susan."

"Good morning Ms. Grey, shouldn't you be at school?" She asked and then looked up from the counter. "Oh my, what happened dear?"

"It's nothing Susan, I fell last night. I'm just going to stay home today and rest a little."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, no I'm fine. Do you know when my mother and Ray will be home tonight?"

"Your mother is on call tonight and Ray said he would be home around six so his dinner should be ready by then. I was going to leave you a note and prepare the meal so all you have to do is heat it up."

"Thanks Susan. I'm just going to go lay down so don't worry about my room today."

"Ok Ms. Grey, I will be done in a couple hours. Please let me know if you need anything."

Meredith made her way back to her room. The day seemed to pass rather quickly for Meredith and soon she saw that it was 5:00pm. She decided to head down and get everything ready for dinner incase Ray was early. She took out the packet of pills she had and took out two. She grounded them up and mixed them into a helping of the hot dish Susan had prepared and then she went and set the table being careful not to mix up the plates. Once everything was done she went in and started watching TV.

The day had gone quickly but Derek had to admit that when he didn't see Meredith in class or later at lunch he was worried. He met up with Alex and Mark in the locker room. "Alex have you seen Meredith today?"

"Derek shouldn't we be more concerned with the fact that we haven't gone over the plays yet? Coach is going to ride us hard when he finds it out."

"Don't worry Mark; I talked to coach before school was out. He said he wants them by Wednesday so we can practice them and use them for Friday's game." Alex said and then turned his attention to Derek. "She wasn't in class?"

"No and after last night…something doesn't feel right…I'm worried about her."

"Feel right Derek? You just met her?"

Derek explained what he saw after he dropped Alex off and he told his friends how he felt about her.

Both Mark and Alex listened to him and where a bit taken back by what he said about his feelings but Alex started to worry. "I'll stop by after practice."

"We have to go over those plays tonight Alex. I told Iz so she isn't expecting me."

"I know but I need to check on Mer. It's not like her to miss school. We can meet at my house after."

"It's going to take hours to go over those plays we need to start right after practice." Mark whined.

Derek saw the worry in Alex's eyes and knew he had to back him up. "Mark's right Alex. How about Mark and I come with you to check on Meredith? I can tell her what we went over in biology and then we can go back to your house and when we are done I'll give you a ride home Mark so Iz can have your car."

Mark nodded his agreement right away and texted Izzie to tell her to take his car. Alex thought for a minute and then also gave in deciding that maybe Derek and Mark were the ones to help him after all.

They went to practice and made it through. They were the first ones out of the showers and once changed they headed to Meredith's house. They pulled up to the house and decided to let Mark knock on the door after he said he could use his charm to get her to let them in. Mark knocked on the door while Derek and Alex stood off to the side out of sight.

Meredith heard the knock and turned off the TV and went to the door. She opened it a little being sure to hide the side of her face and when she saw who it was she was a little surprised. "Are you lost?"

"No I came to see you so are you going to let me in or what?"

"I don't even know you, why would I let you in?"

Mark thought for a second and then found his answer. "I'm hungry and I can smell you made me diner so can we eat?"

"I can't cook."

"How about a glass of water? I ran all the way here."

Meredith saw his smile and knew he was up to something but she couldn't help but smile at him and she gave in. "Fine, I'll get you a glass of water but you have to wait here and as soon as you are done you leave, got it?"

"Got it."

Meredith walked to the kitchen leaving the door open.

Mark smiled back at his friends and they made their way into the entry room. All three of them were looking around and what caught their eyes were the pictures on the walls. Derek turned to Alex. "That's Jason Simpson isn't it?"

"Yeah." Alex replied as he too was looking at the wall of pictures. His heart broke more for her seeing there were no pictures of Meredith and he could only imagine what it has been like for her.

"Didn't he die like 2 years ago in a car accident?"

"Yeah."

"Why are there all these pictures of him in Meredith's house Alex?" Derek asked growing more concerned.

"Jason was Ray's son." Alex said as he led the two into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Meredith turn around. "Mer?"

Meredith dropped the glass of water she had picked up when she turned and came face to face with Alex, Derek, and Mark. "What are you doing here?"

"More important, what happened to your face?" Alex asked.

"No you are in my house you don't get to ask questions." Meredith yelled and then eyed Mark and Derek. "Get out, get out of my house."

Derek saw the bruise on her face and he was worried. For a second he saw fear in her eyes before it turned to rage and he wanted to calm her down. He stepped out from behind Alex. "Meredith we just came to let you know what you missed in class today."

Mark decided he wasn't interested in the conversation so he made his way to the dining room. Once he got there he noticed the table set with two covered dishes. He lifted the cover from the one that was at the head of the table. Immediately he smelt the aroma and his stomach growled. "This sure smells good Meredith, I hope you don't mind if I have some while you all sort everything out." He yelled and then sat down. He had picked up a fork when a hand grabbed him.

Meredith was about to respond to Derek when she heard Mark's voice from the dining room. She immediately pushed past Alex and Derek and ran into the dining room. "No, you can't eat that." Meredith yelled as she grabbed his hand with her hand. She felt the pain in her wrist as she did so however she didn't let it stop her.

Alex and Derek had followed her into the dining room and watched as she grabbed Mark's hand. Alex was a little taken back by her outburst because he had never seen her yell at anyone like that. "Mer?"

"What the hell Meredith? I was just going to eat while you guys were talking. I didn't want your food to go to waste." Mark said as Meredith dropped his hand.

"I'm sorry but…you can't…I mean you need to go…you can't eat here."

"Why not it's ready to eat and it's going to get cold."

"It's for Ray. You can't eat it. Just go before he gets home."

"Come on Meredith we had a tough practice and I haven't had anything to eat and it looks like you have more than enough."

"No…no you can't eat…you need to go."

Alex and Derek shared a look questioning her strange behavior. Derek would bet money that he saw fear in her eyes. Alex watched her and something about her was different than the last time he had seen her and it worried him. "Mer it does look like Susan made a lot, we have some time before we have to go over our plays."

"No!" Meredith yelled. She pulled Mark out of the chair with her good arm and started pushing him out of the room. "No you all have to go. I didn't invite you in and you need to leave before he gets back."

Mark turned back around and saw Derek and Alex standing behind her now. He looked down at her and spoke again. "What is with you?"

Meredith was surprised by his question. "What?"

"Well most girls would kill to make me dinner but you; no you are pushing me out the door. So I have to ask, what is with you?"

"Seriously? Seriously? You came bursting into my house uninvited and you think there is something wrong with me because I won't stroke your ego, Seriously? And what about Izzie, I thought she was your girlfriend?"

Mark looked at Alex and Derek who both had smiles on their faces and he wasn't going to let her win. Mark put on the grin that he knew no girl could resist and he looked back down at her. "We are. Iz and I are together but she also knows that you should always share the wealth. And for the record Meredith, right now, I'm just talking about you sharing your dinner not s-e-x."

Meredith could not believe Mark. He was infuriating and she was ready to beat him. Her body tensed and she went to lunge at him.

Derek had been watching the interaction impressed that Meredith hadn't given into Mark. He saw her body tense and knew she had enough. He quickly put himself in between the two and caught her as she lunged at him. "Whoa there. Don't let him get to you Meredith. I know he's a lot to take but he really is a good guy when he behaves."

As soon as she felt his hands on her it sent a shock through her. There was something about Derek that made her feel comfortable and when she felt his hands, she had never felt that way before. She stopped struggling immediately but then she looked at the clock on the wall, it was almost 6pm and she was getting more nervous. She knew she needed to get them out of there. She looked into Derek's blue eyes pleading with him and in a whisper she spoke. "Please just go before he gets here." No one moved so she said it louder. "Go now, please go."

Derek saw the pleading and at that time he wanted to help. "Let's go guys we need to go over those plays." He turned and started for the door. The others followed. When he opened the door he stopped and was met with a pair of brown eyes that he immediately didn't like.

"What are you doing in my house?" Mark and Derek. "I hope she at least gave you each your own individual attention"

Derek and Mark were both taken back by what he just said. "Wh…what?"

"You don't have to be embarrassed by it we already know she's a whore so don't try and hide it."

Derek and Mark both looked from the man to Meredith and noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Is diner ready?"

Meredith blinked back the tears and answered. "You're, you're home early Ray."

"Shut up Meri just get dinner ready."

Alex had been off to the side and hadn't made his presence known. He was surprised by the way Ray was talking to Meredith and he stepped forward. "Mr. Simpson?"

Ray turned around and immediately his face changed. "Alex?" Ray grabbed him and hugged him. "How have you been? It's been to long since you've been around. Are you still playing football?"

"Yes sir."

"I still have all the tapes of you, Jake, and Jason playing. You should come visit and we can watch them."

"Thanks Mr. Simpson but I'm pretty busy now with school so I don't know…"

Ray cut him off. "Well I understand. Let's go sit down and have dinner. We can catch up." Ray grabbed him and started walking to the dining room. "Meri get some more plates for Alex and his friends."

Meredith took a deep breath and closed the door as Derek and Mark followed them into the dining room and sat down to eat.

Dinner was filled with Ray telling story after story about Jason. He never once mentioned Meredith. Alex, Derek, and Mark all shared looks through dinner and they would also glance at Meredith who had her head down moving her food around her plate. Finally after Ray had finished she took away the dishes and he finished up his last story as he started to bob his head. Meredith came back in the room and saw him bobbing his head. "I can put desert in the fridge Ray if you'd like to turn in early."

"Shut up you slut. Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm so…I'm sorry Ray; I'll go get the cake." Meredith went to turn around when his voice stopped her.

"Boys if you'll just show yourselves out I'm going to head to bed." He turned and walked out of the dining room and Meredith followed. When he started climbing the steps he stopped and turned to her before speaking again. "It should have been you Meri, Jason never should have been taken from us. Clean up and get to bed."

Meredith held her breath as she walked to the steps and listened until she heard him fall on the bed. She let out her breath and turned to go clean up. She was met by three pairs of eyes that she had forgotten about. "Goodnight, you know where the door is." Meredith went to the dining room and grabbed the remaining dishes then headed to the kitchen to clean up.

Derek, Mark, and Alex all looked at each other. "What the hell was that Alex?" Derek whispered in an upset tone.

Alex met his tone. "I don't know. He wasn't like this from what I remember."

"Should we leave her?" Mark asked.

"No, we should go help her clean up." Derek said because he didn't want to leave her and because he was raised to help clean up.

The three made their way into the kitchen and saw Meredith at the sink getting ready to do the dishes. Derek noticed the way she was holding her one arm and went up to help her. "Meredith let us…" Derek stopped once he looked down and saw her wrist. It was swollen. "What happened to your wrist?"

At Derek's question both Mark and Alex appeared next to them. "Mer what happened to you?"

"I…I just fell."

Mark looked closer and then asked. "Did you get an x-ray to see if it is broken?"

"It's not broken." She said and then when she saw the question on their faces she continued. "My mother is a surgeon I know what a break looks like, it's just sprained. You can all leave now."

Alex put his hand on her shoulder. "Mer we want to help you clean up before we leave."

Meredith shrugged him off. "I don't need your help Alex; I meant what I said yesterday. You had no right to come here."

Derek decided he would try. "You may not need our help but we are part of the reason for all these dishes so it's the least we can do. We'll leave once everything is cleaned up Mer."

It was the first time he had shortened her name and she liked it. "Fine but only if you three do dishes and I'll take care of the food."

Mark and Alex each had looks of disgust on them for having to do the dishes however Derek smiled. "That's my specialty. Come on. Mark you wash, I'll dry and Alex can put them away since you've been here before."

They started doing the dishes while Meredith went about her task. Meredith had finished with the food and was sitting at the counter watching the guys finish up the dishes. Alex had some silver ware and had opened the drawer to put it away when his voice rang out. "What the hell is this Mer?" He asked as he pulled the bag of pills out of the drawer.

Meredith quickly jumped out of her chair and went to grab them from him however he held them out of her reach. "Leave them alone."

"You told me you were done. You promised. How could you lie about something like this?"

Meredith looked him straight in the eyes and started yelling. "I never lied. Give them back to me. You have no right to take something that doesn't belong to you." She reached again and snatched them back from him.

"You never lie, if that is true Mer than what are these pills doing here?"

"They are not…I don't have to explain myself to you. You left; you don't have a right to ask me anything. Now leave, I can finish myself."

"Calm down you guys. And lower your voices."

"Shut up Mark just all of you get out of my house."

Alex heard Mark and knew he didn't want to wake Ray. "Mark is right Mer we don't want to wake Ray."

Meredith continued to yell. "You don't have to worry about him he won't wake up, just get out." I made sure of that she thought as she looked to the pills.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Alex and Mark both asked.

Derek had been watching Meredith and once he saw her eyes go to the bag of pills that was now on the counter he knew. "Sleeping pills." He said. He looked at Meredith and saw her nod.

Alex and Mark both looked at Derek. "What?"

"Sleeping pills. And from how she reacted to Mark earlier I bet she put them in his helping at dinner." Derek finished his explanation as all eyes went back to Meredith.

"Mer, is it true?" Alex questioned and didn't get any response so he tried again. "Is it true Meredith?"

Meredith felt the pressure of their stares and gave in hoping they would leave soon. "Yes alright. Now leave."

"What the hell has been going on around here? Mer tell me, I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"Leave Alex, all of you leave." Meredith started walking out of the kitchen.

Alex grabbed her and turned her. He knew she wouldn't talk unless she was forced so he started pushing. "Tell me Mer. I want to know why you put sleeping pills in his food."

"No."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me. Damn it Meredith just tell me so I can help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Jason wouldn't want you living like this. Just tell me."

As soon as he said his name Meredith started struggling more. "Don't say his name, Alex leave me alone."

"Jason would want you to tell me so I can help."

"No, no Alex you don't get to say his name and you don't get to act like you care about me now. Leave." Meredith said but her voice was cracking the more Alex was pushing the harder it was to resist.

Derek heard her voice and didn't like to see her hurting like she was. "Alex maybe we should go."

Alex turned to them but kept his hold on Meredith. "If I don't push her she won't talk, she avoids and she is stubborn." He turned back to Meredith. "Mer Jason loved you he wouldn't want you doing this to yourself just let me in."

"No, no Alex. You left, I can take care of myself and in 2 years I will be gone. I can deal with him for two more years. Just leave me alone and leave."

"Deal with what?" Now he was getting scarred about what had been going on with his friend and he knew he had to get the truth. He gently but firmly shook her. "Damn it Meredith what the hell has been going on this last year and a half. Is he…has Ray abused you?" She didn't say anything. "Meredith has he hit you?"

Meredith finally gave in and nodded.

"Is he the reason for the bruise and the sprained wrist?"

Again Meredith nodded.

Alex got a lump in his throat for the next question. "Has he…has he sexually…" He couldn't even finish the question.

Meredith felt his hold on her loosen as he asked his questions and the last one caused her temper to grow. She ripped her arms out of his grasp. "I am not a whore, no matter what he says I am not a whore." Meredith looked at each of their faces and then turned and started running for the door.

They were in shock by what they all had just witnessed but as soon as he saw her start to run Derek ran after her and caught her. "Let us help you."

"I don't need anyone's help. I am fine, I can take care of myself like I always have and I can handle this on my own."

Alex and Mark had caught up. "I'm sorry Mer I just needed to know."

Meredith stared him in the eyes again. "Jason is gone because, because of me. Iknow it should have been me, I wish it had been me but I can't change that. You know what happened that night Alex…." Meredith trailed off thinking about what had happened that night. She looked up and saw the concerned faces in front of her and felt embarrassed. She put on a fake smile and rushed to get them out of the house. "Didn't you guys say you had some pictures to go over or something?"

Derek was surprised by her change but chuckled at her as she asked about pictures. "Plays, football plays Meredith and yes we do."

"It's getting late so you should get going." Meredith opened the door for them.

Mark walked to the door first but stopped in front of her. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I know you don't know me Meredith but let me know if you need anything ok? Besides we are lab partners so you will be getting to know me." Mark watched her nod and then walked out the door to the car.

Alex moved next and also stopped in front of Meredith. "I know I left Mer but I didn't forget about you and you are still my sister so just promise me you will call if you need anything?"

Meredith smiled a little. "The gestures nice Alex but I'm fine really. I'll see you around."

"I'm just down the street Mer." Alex replied and walked out to join Mark in the car.

Derek had stayed back and watched his two friends leave and then followed in their path. Standing in front of her he couldn't believe his feelings for this girl. "You are a strong person Meredith Grey I can see that in your eyes but like those other two I am also going to ask you to promise me that you will let me know if you need anything."

"Will it help you sleep better?"

"Yes."

"Ok, since you did bring me my assignment I will promise you as long as you give me your number tomorrow in class."

"You'll be in class tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Deal, have a good night Mer." Derek said as he walked to his car and once in he drove them to Alex's house. With thoughts of Meredith running through his head, knowing he was hooked and for the first time in his life happy that he didn't have a girlfriend.

Once she closed the door she finished cleaning up and made sure the house was locked up before heading to bed. Unfortunately sleep did not come easily for Meredith because she was thinking of a certain blue eyed boy that had just left. She was surprised by how he seemed to read her and it scared her. Thoughts were running through her head about how she was going to continue living with Ray

Meredith heard his voice and it sent a shiver through her. She shook it off and stepped forward. "Ray this is Derek and Mark they are some friends from school. And this is…"

Ray cut her off after she introduced them. "Two new ones Meri." He then turned his attention back to

knowing there was no way she could get anymore pills from Finn with Alex, Derek, and Mark around.

_That was the first time Derek and Mark ever met Ray. I remember the embarrassment I felt that they had found out my secret. They now knew that Ray was capable of hurting me and I was capable of putting sleeping pills in his food to try and prevent it. _

_They never mentioned it but I knew from all their looks that they were watching me. Because of that I made sure that I knew how to use make-up and whenever it was possible I would be sure that any other injuries were kept out of site. I never went to Finn again after that thinking that if they knew I wasn't going to him then they would think everything was okay and I wouldn't have to worry about trying to hide anything else. I was especially worried about Mrs. Shepherd finding out. We often went to Derek's house to study and for some reason she always seemed to be watching me a little too closely. I wondered if Derek had told her but I knew that he hadn't which I was grateful for._


	2. Chapter 2

It was the end of the first week back after New Years. Derek, Mark, Izzie, and Alex were all at a party to celebrate making it half way through the year while Meredith had decided to go home since she had to work the next day. Derek was thinking about the last few months and how much his life had changed or rather how much Meredith Grey had changed his life. They weren't dating but they had become close friends.

Mark and Izzie were still together. It surprised Derek how much his friend/brother had fallen for Izzie and hoped that it would last. Alex on the other hand still hadn't found anyone special. He liked to play the field which he did very well. Derek, Mark, and Izzie were currently watching him hit on a girl trying to get her to dance with him.

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Meredith had made it to her room and locked the door. She slide down the door and soon enough the banging started again. She felt the door shake and her fear got more intense. She slowly pulled her purse from her desk and found her phone. Worried that the door would give way, she crawled to her closet and closed the door. She heard the shouts and pounding start to slow but she was still afraid and her body hurt as she quickly pressed the talk button selecting number 1 from her phones memory. She listened as it started ringing and the pounding and shouting started again.

"D…Derek?"

Derek felt his phone vibrate, he immediately answered without even looking at the caller id since his eyes were still on Alex. "Hello."

"D…Derek?"

"Mer is that you?"

"Derek?" Meredith got out a little stronger this time.

"I can't hear you hold on let me go outside." Derek quickly headed for the door. Once he got outside where it was quieter he tried again. "Mer is that you?"

"Derek, I…" Meredith started however she heard more shouting and the pounding seemed to get louder as she let out a gasp.

"What's the matter, what was that?" Derek asked now confused by the phone call.

"I'm sorry Derek I shouldn't have bothered you, I'll call Alex."

Derek knew something was wrong by her voice. He could swear he was hearing noises in the background which was worrying him. "Where are you Mer, what is that noise, are you ok? Please Mer just tell me." He pleaded.

"I'm in my room…I'll call Alex…I should have called him …"

Derek cut her off. "Meredith you called me now what is going on?"

"I shouldn't have come home today, this is my fault, make sure Alex knows, I'm sorry, it's not his fault, and make sure he knows…" Meredith ended the call before finishing.

"Mer, Mer, Meredith?" Derek called into the phone and then when he looked at the display he saw that the line was disconnected. Immediately he ran into the party and found Mark and Izzie. He told them about the call and how Meredith sounded. They quickly found Alex and dragged him outside.

They got into a car with Izzie driving and headed to Meredith's house. Derek and Alex were in the back seat while Mark was in the front with Izzie. Derek looked to Alex. "Alex, what is today?"

Alex had a blank stare as he looked to Derek. "What?"

"She said she shouldn't have gone home today. What did she mean Alex?" Derek asked as he saw a look of fear set in on Alex.

Mark turned around in his seat to also see the look of fear on Alex's face. "Alex what is it?"

"The accident, Jason died." Alex paused and then told the story. "Jason and my brother Jake decided to go to the mid-year party two years ago. I was home and was bored so I asked to tag along since I knew a lot of the people that would be there and I promised no alcohol. After being there for a little bit we saw Mer with Finn. Finn's brother was the one who was having the party so we should have known she would be there. Anyway, Jason left Jake and I there to take Mer home. On the way home their car was struck by a drunk driver only two blocks from their house. The guy hit the driver's side and Jason died immediately. Meredith ended up with a broken collar bone and some cuts from the broken glass."

There was silence from the others until Derek broke it with a question. "What happened after?"

"Meredith's mom and Ray had the funeral while she was in the hospital. They wouldn't even let her go to say goodbye. That summer after she got out of the hospital she ended up addicted to pain killers. Finn kept her on them. After about a month my mom sent Jake and I to Florida for the rest of the summer to live with my aunt. When we got back mom told us Ellis and Ray found out about the drugs a month after we left and she was sent to LA to live with her grandmother. School started and when I saw she wasn't in school I went to their house and Ray told me they decided to leave her in LA because it was better for everyone. He wouldn't give me her address or anything. I know that Ray and her mom always blamed Meredith for what happened. Ray never liked Meredith to begin with. He only tolerated her because he loved Ellis and Jason. Jason grew a connection to her right away and I did because Jake and Jason were best friends. He was a second brother to me."

"Would he hurt her?"

"He already has Iz."

"What?"

"The second day of school Derek, Alex, and I went to her house and she told us he had hurt her. She wouldn't let us help her."

"She hasn't said anything else has happened and I haven't seen any more bruises."

"Guys bruises can be hid and do you really think Meredith Grey would tell anyone if she needed help?"

"I should have remembered what today was."

"You can't live in the past Alex."

"I know Iz but it was the day I lost my brother, how could I not remember?"

"I should have insisted she come tonight."

"Stop it. You all know Meredith does not ask for help and she doesn't accept it either so just stop blaming yourselves. We don't even know that anything is wrong."

"She was scarred; I could hear it in her voice."

The car was silent as they drove the rest of the way to Meredith's.

When they finally pulled into her driveway, the four got out of the car and ran to the door. Alex started pounding on the front door. There was no answer and Mark went to look in the window. He came back to his friends. "I saw him passed out on the couch. He has a beer in his hands."

Alex turned the handle and the door opened. "Mer?"

"She said she was in her room." Derek said as he pushed past the others and started up the stairs with the others right behind. "Where is her room Alex?"

Alex went to the door and knocked. "Mer are you in there?" He tried the handle but it was locked. He started to knock. "Mer please open the door. Let us in Mer."

Derek replayed her phone call in his mind and he heard how scarred she was which scarred him even more. He knew he had to get to her. "Alex, stand back."

"Derek what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get in that room Iz."

"You can't just break down the door Derek."

"You didn't hear her voice. I am going in there now so stand back." With that Derek kicked the door open. He entered the room as the others followed but they did not see Meredith anywhere.

Meredith heard someone at the door again and started to shake more. She then heard the door break open and started to cry again she tried to hold it in knowing he would find her but she couldn't help it.

They were looking around the room and didn't see her. Izzie had checked the bathroom. Mark was standing close to Derek who was in front of the closet while Alex was by the bed. Derek thought he heard something. "Sshh everyone be quiet for a minute." They all stopped talking and stood still while Derek listened closely. He heard the whimpers and got closer to the closet. He opened the door and found her in the corner with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head was down. "Mer. Meredith, it's me Derek."

The others had come closer and saw her there. They all looked at each other but Izzie stepped closer to Derek. "Derek, help her."

Derek stepped into the closet and kneeled down in front of Meredith. "Meredith, it's me Derek. Can you look at me?" She didn't move but he could see she was shaking. "Mer it's me Derek. He's not here Mer; I'm not going to let him hurt you again. Please just look at me."

Meredith heard his voice and slowly lifted her head. "Der…Derek?"

When she lifted her head Derek felt his stomach turn. She had blood coming from her nose and a cut on her lip. He could also see bruises starting to form. Derek pushed down the anger knowing he had to help Meredith. "It's me Mer. Mark, Izzie, and Alex are also here. We came to…"

Meredith cut him off. "No you have to leave. Please if he finds you all here he will hurt you all. Please just go, go before he finds you here."

Derek saw the fear in her eyes and reached out to touch her. "No Mer, we are not leaving without you. Don't worry about him Mer. He is passed out on the couch…"

"And if he wasn't he would be knocked out cold on the floor." Alex mumbled under his breath.

"He'd be more then knocked out." Mark added.

Derek shot them a look that told them he agreed with them but also told them to be quiet. He then turned back to Meredith. "Let's get you out of here and to the hospital."

"No."

"Meredith you are hurt, we need to get you checked out."

"No Derek, my mom...she can't know about this."

Derek knew she needed a doctor but he also didn't want to make her deal with her mother. He thought for a moment and then decided what to do. "Ok Mer, we won't go to the hospital. Can you walk?"

Meredith nodded as Derek helped her up. When she stood she felt the pain in her sides and her ankle but she wanted to get out of the house so she tried not to think about it. She went to take a step when she stumbled.

Derek quickly caught her. "I think it's best if I carry you." Derek picked her up. He heard her gasp and wondered where else she was hurt but knew he needed to get her out of the house before he could worry about that.

Derek carried her out of the room and out to the car. Mark, Izzie, and Alex all followed behind. When they got in the car, Derek continued to hold her. Izzie turned and saw how tenderly he was holding her and she saw how Meredith was hiding her face in his neck. Izzie looked back to Derek. "Where are we going?"

"Go to my house Iz." Derek saw the question on her face as he felt Mark and Alex both looking at him. "She needs a doctor and my dad is home tonight. I'll take her to the room above the garage so no one else will bother her until she heals. Just go Iz."

Izzie nodded, turned around, and started the car. The drive was quiet except for Derek's soft soothing words to Meredith. After a few minutes they pulled into the driveway. Everyone got out of the car. Derek still had Meredith in his arms but he knew she had fallen asleep by her breathing. They all walked up to the room and he gently laid her in the bed. He turned to the others and motioned for them to follow him. They all stood by the door. "I'm going to go get my dad. I'll be right back." He left and went into the house. Derek quickly made his way up to his parent's room and then quietly made his way into their room. He went to his father's side of the bed and gently shook him. "Dad."

Mr. Shepherd heard his son and quickly opened his eyes. "Derek, what is it?"

"Ssh, don't wake mom. Please can you just come with me?"

"What is it, is it Beth?"

"No, please dad I need your help."

Mr. Shepherd saw the worry and pleading in his son's eyes and made his way out of bed.

Derek stepped out of the room and went to get the first aid kit from the hall closet. He went back to the door of his parent's room when his father came out.

Mr. Shepherd saw the first aid kit and looked to his son. "Derek?"

Derek started walking back down the hall and heard his father following. When they got downstairs he spoke. "It's a friend dad. She…"

"She Derek? Is it Izzie? What is going on?"

Derek stopped just outside the door to the house and looked at his father. "It's not Izzie, its Meredith dad. She…her stepfather hurt her tonight and I know she needs a doctor so can you please help her for me?"

Mr. Shepherd remembered meeting Meredith. "If she needs a doctor Derek why didn't you take her to the hospital?" Mr. Shepherd watched his son fidget nervously but he didn't speak so he tried again. "Derek, why didn't you take her to the hospital?"

"She didn't want her mother to find out."

"Derek?"

Derek sighed and then turned back to his father knowing he couldn't lie to him. "Her last name is Grey."

"Grey as in Ellis Grey?"

Derek nodded. "Yes Ellis is Meredith's mother. Meredith doesn't want her to know what happened. They aren't exactly close."

"I didn't even know she had a daughter. She talks about her son all the time, I think his name is Jason. But I don't recall her ever mentioning a daughter."

"Jason died two years ago."

"What?"

"There was a car accident. A drunk driver hit him and he was killed instantly. Meredith was in the car and was hurt but she survived. Her step father Ray and Ellis blame Meredith for it. Ellis stays at the hospital as much as possible and Ray…he has hit her before, at the beginning of the year but Meredith told us she would be fine and could handle it herself. I shouldn't have listened to her; I should have done something sooner."

Mr. Shepherd put his hand on Derek's shoulder. "Son, this isn't your fault. You said Ray did this to her. It sounds like her parents didn't know how to deal with their grief over losing a child but they shouldn't have taken it out on her. You can't blame yourself for this Derek."

"I hear what you're saying but still I just, dad she looks really bad, he really hurt her."

Mr. Shepherd watched his son and then he realized what was bothering his son. "I thought you said she is a friend?"

"She is why would you ask that?"

"Because you are acting the same way I act when I am worried about your mother." Mr. Shepherd paused and then added. "You love her." When he finished Mr. Shepherd had a smile on his face as he watched his son take in the information he had just gave him. He patted Derek on the shoulder. "Come on let's make sure she is alright."

Derek and his father made their way up to the room. When they entered Mark, Izzie, and Alex all greeted Mr. Shepherd and he made his way to Meredith. "Did she pass out?"

Derek stepped closer to his father while the other three made their way to the other side of the bed. "No dad. She fell asleep on the way here."

Mr. Shepherd started with taking her pulse when she jerked awake.

"No please."

Derek knelt down close to the bed. "Mer it's ok. You remember my father. He is a doctor and I asked him to make sure you are ok. He won't hurt you and I'll be right here with you."

Meredith nodded. "Ok." She tried to shift in the bed and winced.

"Ok Ms. Grey just stay still." He turned to Izzie. "Izzie, can you get some warm water and some towels so we can clean her up?"

"Of course Mr. Shepherd."

"Derek why don't you grab a sweatshirt and some sweatpants so we can get Ms. Grey more comfortable?"

"I don't want to leave her dad."

"I'll get her something Mr. Shepherd."

"Thank-you Mark. Now Ms. Grey let's make this easy, can you tell me what hurts."

Mark and Izzie came back as Meredith started to talk. "My ankle but I think it's just sprained. I cut my lip and…"

"What is it Mer?" Derek asked but was met with silence. "Mer, my dad can't help you if you don't tell him everything."

Meredith looked to Mr. Shepherd who nodded with a small smile. "I think I broke one or two ribs."

"Ok, I'm going to lift your shirt a little so I can see then." He watched for her to nod and then he slowly lifted her shirt. When he did he heard everyone's sharp intakes of air. He looked at Meredith and saw a tear roll down her cheek. He saw the bruises and as gently as he could he checked her ribs. When he was done there he checked her ankle. "Well Ms. Grey you were right about your ankle and you have two broken ribs on your left side and one on your right side. I have to run to the hospital to get some pain medicine and…"

Meredith cut him off. "No, no pain medicine. It's ok Mr. Shepherd, I'm fine no pain medicine please, Derek, I don't want any pain medicine."

"Ok, Mer. No pain medicine." Derek said and then turned to his dad. "Dad can I talk to you for a minute. I'll be right back Mer." Mr. Shepherd nodded and followed Derek to the door. "She was addicted to pain pills after the accident. She's been clean for almost two years now but she was addicted for two months."

"Ok. Go ahead and clean off the blood and have Izzie help her out of those clothes. I'll go back to the house and get what I need to bandage her ribs and ankle. We can give her some over the counter pain pills for now but tomorrow I am going to the hospital to get something stronger." Mr. Shepherd saw the look on Derek's face. "She has 3 broken ribs Derek, it is painful and the over the counter stuff is not going to help with that much pain. I'll get something, it won't be pills but she needs something stronger to help with that pain. She is trying to hide it but as a doctor I know how much pain she is in so, I'm not going to argue this and its final Derek." Mr. Shepherd stepped out the door and headed to the house.

Derek was a little surprised by his father's words but he went back to Meredith. "Mer. I'm going to clean your face and then Izzie will help you change ok?" Meredith nodded and Derek took the towel and water Izzie had brought and started to wash her face. "Dad said we can try some over the counter pills for the pain."

"Thank-you Derek."

Derek smiled and finished washing her face. Once he was done he signaled for Izzie and then got up to follow Mark and Alex out of the room when Meredith grabbed his hand. "Don't go Derek, please."

"Mer, Izzie is going to help you change." Derek said but saw the pleading in her eyes. "Alright I'll stay." Derek then saw Izzie's face. "I'll close my eyes so I don't see anything inappropriate."

"Alright Meredith let's start with your top." Izzie walked over to help Meredith sit up with Derek's help. Izzie lifted her shirt up as Derek closed his eyes and she put the sweatshirt on. "Ok now let me help you with your pants." Izzie then helped change Meredith's pants as Derek again closed his eyes. "There you're all set. Do you feel any better?"

"A little thank-you Iz." Meredith finished with a yawn.

"My dad should be back soon and as soon as he bandages your ribs and ankle you can get some sleep." Meredith nodded as Mr. Shepherd came back into the room.

"Sorry that took so long. Derek get some water so she can take some pills." Mr. Shepherd handed him the bottle of pills and then set to work with the bandages.

Derek watched his father gently bandage Meredith. He saw her flinch many times and knew she wouldn't vocalize how she felt. He got lost in his thoughts. He continued to think about how he had changed since he met her. He remembered every interaction he had with her and soon he began to wonder if his father was right, did he really love her? He was pulled from his thoughts by his father's voice.

"Ok Derek, give her the pills so she can get some sleep."

Derek gave her the pills and helped Meredith so she could take them.

"Thank-you Dr. Shepherd."

"You're welcome. Now get some rest and I will check on you tomorrow when I get home." Meredith nodded and closed her eyes. "Derek a word."

"I just want to make sure she is a sleep first." Derek knelt down and listened to Meredith's breathing for a few minutes and then looked back to his father. "Ok dad." He followed his father out of the room and the others also followed.

"Is she going to be ok?"

Mr. Shepherd nodded. "She should be but you saw her flinching, she needs something stronger for the pain."

Alex stepped forward a little. "Mr. Shepherd, she…"

Alex was cut off. "I know about the addiction Alex, Derek told me. I understand that she doesn't want to go back to that but she is in pain and though I admire her for wanting to go through this without the medicine I know how much pain she is in right now and I don't want to see that when I know how to help so I am going to go to the hospital in the morning and get something for her. I will talk to her and I'll make sure she doesn't have any problems."

"Thank-you dad."

"Don't thank me yet Derek. You need to tell your mom about this."

"Dad I don't…"

"No you are going to tell her tomorrow morning. I will get up and head to the hospital and be back for breakfast. After we eat you and I are going to sit down and talk to her." Mr. Shepherd saw the appreciation in his sons face. "She needs to know so she can help you care for her."

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking Derek. You want her to stay here."

All eyes went to Derek. "She can't go home dad and she doesn't have anywhere else to go."

"We'll talk to your mother tomorrow. I'm going to head back to bed before your mother wakes up. Goodnight kids."

Mark, Izzie, Alex, and Derek all said goodnight as Mr. Shepherd left. "I need to get going. Mark, Alex do you guys want a ride?"

"Thanks Iz." Alex said and then he turned to Derek. "Call me if she needs anything and I'll stop by tomorrow."

"I will Alex don't worry, I'll take care of her."

"Iz, I'm staying with Derek tonight remember? I'll call you tomorrow ok?"

Izzie nodded. "Okay, goodnight you two." Izzie gave Mark a kiss and a hug. She then turned to Derek and gave him a hug. As she hugged him she whispered in his ear. "Take care of her."

"I will. Goodnight Iz." Derek said as Izzie left leaving Mark and Derek alone. "Why are you staying?"

"Remember I told you my parents are on vacation."

"Sorry, I forgot. Help me move the pool table over so we have enough room and then I'll get the sleeping bags."

Mark helped Derek. "The couch is a pull out."

"It is."

"Then why are we sleeping on the floor?"

"Because I didn't want to be rude and just make you sleep on the floor."

"Oh that's so kind of you but its ok with me if you want to sleep on the floor since you can't sleep with Meredith. Don't worry; I'll be very comfortable on the couch."

"You are not sleeping on the couch." Derek said completely ignoring Mark's comment about Meredith.

"I'll start out on the floor but don't fault me if I end up on the couch."

"Just as long as you stay away from me." Derek said as he laid down closer to the door of his room. "Goodnight Mark and thanks for helping me tonight."

Mark shut off the light and took his spot. "That's what friends are for. Goodnight."

After a few moments of silence Derek spoke again. "If I ever see him again I'll kill him for what he did to her."

"You can't kill him Derek but I'll help you do some damage."

"I didn't realize it was that bad."

"None of us did. You know she doesn't like to talk about herself. It doesn't surprise me that she didn't ask for help."

"I know it's just…"

"She called you Derek. When she needed someone the most she called you."

"Thanks Mark."

"Anytime now let's get some sleep. Morning will be here soon and I want to be wide awake for your moms French toast and for your conversation about Mer."

"You can have the French toast but you won't be there for the conversation."

"We'll see about that."

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"Let's go Derek, I'm sure mom has breakfast ready and we don't want her coming up here before you have a chance to talk to her do you?"

Derek pulled his attention from Meredith and turned to Mark. "You're right. I just don't want her to wake up with no one here."

"She will probably sleep for a while. She had a tough night. Did you hear dad leave yet?"

"Yeah. He already left and came back. Let's go."

Derek and Mark both made their way down the stairs and entered the kitchen. They found Michael, Cindy, and Beth sitting at the table and all three looked up as the two entered.

"Look what the cat dragged in. Did you two sleep well?"

"Sure."

"I made French toast and bacon. Let me know if you need anything else."

"It smells great mom."

"Thanks Mark. Are you going to spend the night again?"

"Probably. My parents are out of town for the next month. It's their summer vacation."

"Then you will be staying here."

"How was the party?"

"Beth, finish your breakfast."

"Mom I just want to know how it was."

"It was a party Beth, nothing special."

"That's what you always say Der."

"Well when something exciting happens I'll let you know."

There was silence while the family continued to eat. After a while Beth asked to be excused and she left to go to a friend's house. Once everyone was finished eating they all helped clean up and when they were finished Michael spoke.

"Cindy let's sit down. Derek has something to tell you."

Cindy looked from her husband to her son as she made her way to the table. "What is it Derek?"

"Well last night I…at the party there was…so I…"

"Oh for goodness sakes just spit it out son."

"Michael be nice."

"He brought a friend home."

"Mark."

"Well you weren't going to say it so…"

"Derek what does he mean?"

Derek took a deep breath and decided just to tell her. "I got a phone call from a friend who needed help so we all left the party and picked her up. I didn't have anywhere else to go so we came back here so dad could help her. She's up in the room above the garage."

"Her? And what's this about your dad helping…Michael?"

Michael shook his head not wanting to get into trouble. "Cindy I told him he needed to tell you right away this morning. I didn't want to worry you last night."

"Why would you need your fathers help?"

"Her…her step father hurt her. She didn't want to go to the hospital because she didn't want her mother to find out so I brought her here and got dad to look at her."

Cindy turned her attention back to Michael. "How bad?"

"Three broken ribs, a sprained ankle and some cuts and bruises."

Cindy shook her head and turned back to Derek. "Who is she? Do I know her?"

Derek shook his head in response and before his mother could ask again he answered. "It's Meredith."

"Meredith…your lab partner?"

Derek nodded.

"I knew something was wrong."

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Meredith slowly opened her eyes and realized she wasn't in her house. She looked around and soon the memories of the night came back to her. As the memories came back panic filled her and all she wanted to do was get out of the room she was in and hide. She slowly pulled herself up. The pain shot through her but she knew she had to move. Slowly she swung her legs over the side of the bed and went to stand only to fall back down. That's when she remembered that she hurt her ankle.

With determination she managed to get up and make her way out of the room into the joining room. She found a phone and quickly made a call. After hanging up she looked at the clock and knew she didn't have too long to get home. She took a deep breath and started to make her way to the door. The pain was almost unbearable but she knew she had to bare it so that she could get out of there. Once she opened the door she saw the stairs and took another deep breath as she started to make her way down them.

She realized she was only half way down when she heard the car pull up and honk. She looked up and gave a small wave asking the driver to wait for her as she continued to make her way down the rest of the stairs.

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"What was that?" Michael asked as he watched Mark stand and make his way to the window.

"It's a cab."

"A cab. What on earth is a cab doing here?" Cindy asked as she too made her way to the window.

Derek and Michael shared a look before Derek spoke. "Meredith." Michael nodded as he stood and followed Derek out the door with Cindy and Mark following behind. Michael turned to Mark. "Mark send the cab away."

"Yes sir." Mark replied as he parted from the group and made his way down the driveway.

"Meredith."

She heard her name and paused for a moment. She looked up and saw Derek and Michael coming towards her with Cindy following behind. She didn't want them to see her so she tried to pick up her pace. She had made it down the stairs and was starting to go down the driveway. Due to her ankle however she stumbled and braced herself for the fall that was coming.

"Meredith what are you doing out of bed." Derek asked as he caught her.

"I'm going home. I called a cab, I need to go home."

"Mer, you can't go home. Not after what he did to you."

"It's okay, I'll be okay. I need to get breakfast made before he wakes up."

"You are not going anywhere except back to bed."

Meredith looked up to see Michael standing next to Derek.

"Thank you for your help last night Dr. Shepherd. I really appreciate it."

Michael watched the girl trying to hide her pain. She was tough that much he knew. "I'm glad you appreciate it Meredith now let's get you up to bed so that you can heal."

"I'll be good at home, thank you."

Cindy had watched the exchange and decided to step forward. "Meredith, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Mrs. Shepherd, thank you for asking. I just need to get home." Meredith said keeping her head down.

Cindy stepped closer and raised Meredith's face so that they were looking at each other. When she saw Meredith's face she wanted to cry but she knew that wouldn't help. "You're not going anywhere sweetheart except to bed. We are going to help you get better and then we can figure out everything else."

Meredith looked into her eyes and saw the love there. She had wondered so many times what it would feel like to have a mother's love like Cindy had for her children and just for a moment she felt it. In that moment of weakness she nodded.

Cindy felt Meredith nod and looked to her husband. "Take her up Michael."

Michael nodded and picked Meredith up. He noticed right away how light she was and when he looked down he noticed that she had passed out. "It's from the pain. Let's get her settled and I'll give her something to make her more comfortable." Michael finished as he started towards the garage room.

"Wait Michael. Take her up to Nancy's room. If she's going to be here I want her close so I can help take care of her."

Michael smiled and turned towards the house while Cindy, Derek, and Mark followed him in and up to the room Meredith would now be staying in.

Once Meredith was settled and Michael had given her something more for the pain Cindy, Michael, Mark, and Derek all made their way down to the living room.

"Now Michael tell me what I need to know to take care of her."

Michael smiled knowing his wife wouldn't pass up an opportunity for more mothering. "We just need to keep her comfortable and allow her to heal. There really isn't anything else to do for her."

"Well that shouldn't be too hard then. I'll just make sure we have everything she would need in the room for her."

Mark let out a laugh at Cindy's response.

"Is there a problem Mark?"

"I'm sorry mom but you don't know Mer all that well. She is not just going to lie in bed."

"She will if she knows what's good for her."

"Mom, Mark's right. Mer is use to doing everything for herself and others. She doesn't know how to let others help her and she is very very stubborn."

Cindy smiled and turned to Michael. "Well then I'll just have to make sure she knows she doesn't have a choice."

"Good luck mom."

"I'm going to head up and sit with Mer."

"I'm going to head up and play some games. Feel free to join me once you get bored with the babysitting." Mark replied as he headed up the stairs towards Derek's bedroom.

Derek smiled at his parents before following Mark up the stairs however he entered Nancy's room while Mark went one door further.

Cindy turned back to her husband after the boys had disappeared. "He loves her."

"I think you are right dear."

"She's a good girl."

"Again, I think you are right. I know I haven't spent much time with her however I see the way Derek looks at her and I know he wouldn't look that way at just anyone."

"What are we going to do?"

"Let's just get her healed first and then we can worry about the rest."

"She's not going back to that man."

"I figured you would say that. Don't worry Cindy I wouldn't dream of sending her back to that place after seeing what that man did to her last night."

"He's hurt her before."

"What?"

"I wasn't sure however after seeing what he did to her last night I know he has. She tried to hide it but…I should have pushed her harder."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Cindy. She's here now and we'll make sure she doesn't get hurt anymore."

"We?"

"I see the look in your eye. It's the same look that you had when you found out that Mark's parents were never around."

"So she can stay here?"

"I don't see why not now that Sara, Nancy and Kathleen are out of the house we do have the room. Although I have a feeling it is going to be pretty hard to convince her to stay."

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it and I have a feeling Derek will be a great help."

"I will agree with you on that. Come on lets go check on her."

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_There you have how I started living with the Shepherds at least that time. Later I found out that Mrs. Shepherd knew that something was wrong. I think that's why it was so easy for her to open up her home to me or maybe it was just the way she was, after all she did take in Mark._

_I was a little worried about Mr. Shepherd though. After all, I hadn't spent a lot of time with him. He was not one that talked much so usually he would say hi and either head to his office to finish some paperwork or spend some time with Beth or Mrs. Shepherd when I was there. When I would stay for dinner he still didn't talk much. He usually just asked how everyone's day was and then let them talk. I remember sitting at the dinner table with them on many occasions wondering if that was what a real family was._

_Since I didn't know Mr. Shepherd very well I was surprised that he let me stay with them and that he helped me. Looking back now I should have known better. Mr. Shepherd would do anything to help those that he cared about and I think at that time he cared about me because Derek and Mark who were his sons cared about me. _

Auther's Note: _I would appreciate any comments you can give if you have a few minutes after taking the time to read...I hope you enjoyed if not all some of the chapter. Next chapter should be up in a week._


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks for picking me up Mer."

"Your welcome Beth. " Meredith said as she and Beth stepped out of the car. Meredith turned as she saw a car pull in the driveway. "Beth go inside and grab a snack."

Ellis stepped out of the car and made her way towards Meredith before she grabbed Meredith's arm. "Meredith it's time to go home."

Meredith pulled her arm free. "I am not going anywhere with you." She then turned back to Beth whose eyes were wide. "Beth please go inside."

Beth saw the look on Meredith and the stranger's faces and she didn't feel right about leaving her. "Mer are you sure? I can call daddy or Derek."

"No don't bother them. I'll be fine just go get a snack." She watched as Beth walked into the house and then turned back to her mother. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you home."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I'm your mother and I've had enough of your games Meredith. Ray is…"

Meredith cut her off. "Don't say his name. I don't ever want to hear his name again."

Ellis raised her voice to match Meredith's. "You ungrateful child. Ray has been your father for the last 7 years. He has loved you like his own even after what you did."

Meredith heard the door open behind her but didn't bother to turn and see who was there. She was fuming and wanted nothing more than for Ellis to leave but not without having her say. "What I did? What did I do?"

"It's because of you we lost our son, we lost Jason. You should be grateful we didn't throw you out when your grandmother died no instead we let you back into our house to be reminded everyday about what you did. It should have been you not Jason that died."

Meredith held Ellis's eyes. "You think I don't know that? I wish every day that it had been me, I relive that night every night. I think about what it would have been like if I had just let Finn do what he wanted then Jason would have never fought with him and we would have stayed at the party. You know I…" Meredith trailed off.

"You what Meredith, what could you possibly have to say for yourself? You let yourself get addicted to drugs and yet you are still here and Jason is not, so what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I went to him for the pills when my prescription ran out. I threw myself at him for more drugs and I couldn't go through with it and you know why mom? It was because I heard Jason's voice telling me it wasn't right telling me that it should be about love and not the drugs. Did you hear me mom it was Jason's voice not yours. I wanted him to have sex with me just so I could get more pills. I wanted to be numb so I didn't have to feel the pain every day."

"You are weak Meredith. You couldn't stand on your own so you let others influence you and then you drag everyone down with you just like you did our son."

"You are right, I am weak and I know I'm a disappointment to you. I wish it had been me if there was one thing I could change it would be me in the ground and not him but I can't change it. I have tried everything to get you to love me. I get A's in all my classes and I'm going to go be a surgeon…"

"You will never be a surgeon Meredith, you couldn't handle it."

Meredith ignored her response. "Do you love me?" Ellis just starred at her. "Do you even love me?" Again there was silence. "Why did you even have me if you don't love me? Why didn't you have an abortion?"

"Because Richard told me he is against abortion."

"You said Thatcher is my father."

"He is."

"Who is Richard?" There was silence and Meredith thought back to the years before Ray and Jason and then she remembered who Richard was. "He's why dad left isn't he? Why didn't you let dad take me? Why would you keep me if you didn't even want me?"

"Because your father didn't want you either." Ellis said without hesitation.

Meredith took a step back. "But I'm your daughter, your flesh and blood."

"You are my responsibility and I intend to finish taking care of my responsibility. Now get your things and let's go." Ellis again grabbed her arm.

Meredith pulled her arm free again. "No, I will not go to where I am not wanted. I am not your responsibility anymore. You have Ray leave me alone."

"I will not leave you alone. Because of you Jason is not here and you are not just going to walk out of our lives."

"I was never in your lives mother. If it wasn't for Jason…"

Ellis slapped her across the face. "Don't speak his name ever again. He never should have tried to bring you home that night. He was naive and should have known who you really are. I tried to tell him but he never listened…"

"He was the only one who loved me. He told me I mattered. He told me I was good enough and believed that I was going to be a great surgeon. He believed in me. He told me I was strong and was a good person, he told me I was beautiful inside and out and that someday the right man was going to feel that way about me and I should let him and not run away because I was scared of letting someone else in. He knew me mother. He only knew me for 7 years but he knew me better than you ever did. I'm sorry you can't love me, and I'm even more sorry that it's because of me that he isn't here now." Meredith finished with tears falling down her face.

"Oh now you're crying. You are so weak. Let's go, enough of this nonsense Meredith we are leaving. You are not going to bring these fine people down with you like you did Jason."

Dr. Shepherd had started towards the two as soon as he saw Ellis slap Meredith and was now standing next to her facing Ellis. "Ellis, I think it's time for you to leave."

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd. I will take my daughter now. I am so sorry she has intruded on you and your family. The girl is so hopeless and such a mess…"

"Dr. Grey."

Meredith looked up to Dr. Shepherd upon hearing his voice. She saw the pity in his eyes and then swung around to see Mrs. Shepherd, Derek, and all four of his sisters standing behind her with the same looks in their eyes. She was embarrassed and hurt by what her mother said and angry that she had let the entire Shepherd family hear everything. She was angry that she had dragged them into her family mess and knew she had to fix it because no matter how much she didn't want to be with Ellis or Ray they were her family and she wasn't going to drag the Shepherds down with her. She turned back around and squeezed Mr. Shepherd's arm. "She's right. I'm sorry mother; I'll be right back with my things. Mr. Shepherd thank-you for your kindness." Meredith turned around.

Mr. Shepherd stopped her. "Meredith, you are not going anywhere."

She turned back around to face him. "You have been so kind and your family is amazing. I need to go back to my fa…fam…house." Meredith couldn't call them her family but she continued. "I don't want to hurt anyone so I will go back to my house. Thank-you really for your help." This time she ran away to gather her things.

Mr. Shepherd watched her leave. His eyes locked with his wife. "Cindy." He waited until his children were in the house and then he turned to Ellis and had his say.

Cindy nodded and turned to her children. "Go inside everyone." She saw Derek hadn't moved. "Derek, I'll take care of Meredith go help your sisters with dinner please."

Derek nodded and entered the house. Cindy went up the stairs to what had soon become Meredith's room and saw Meredith putting things in her bag. She stepped up to Meredith and placed her hand on her arm. "Meredith."

Meredith stopped and turned to Mrs. Shepherd. She quickly wiped her tears and put a smile on her face. "I'm almost done, I'm sorry I'll be out in a few minutes."

Mrs. Shepherd grabbed Meredith's hands to stop her. "Meredith come sit with me please." She led her to the bed and they sat. "Meredith, you are not going anywhere. We want you to stay with us."

"I appreciate that Mrs. Shepherd but I can't. My mother, she's right. I need to go back."

"You are not going back to that house with that woman and certainly not with that man still there."

Meredith was taken back by her anger. "I'll be fine. I only have 2 more years left and then I will go to college so…"

Mrs. Shepherd cut her off. "Meredith, you are a very strong women but you are not going back to that house even if I have to tie you up. What your mother said, she was wrong."

"No she's right. I'm the reason Jason died. I wish it had been me Mrs. Shepherd why doesn't she know how much I wish it had been me?" Meredith finished with tears rolling down her face.

Mrs. Shepherd pulled her into her arms and gently rocked her. "Sshh Meredith please don't say that. You are here for a reason. What happened was an accident it wasn't your fault or Jason's fault."

"He was loved by so many people. He should still be here not me."

"He was loved Meredith and you won't ever forget him but Meredith you are loved too and you deserve to be here."

"No, she's right I'm helpless and I won't ever be a surgeon. I'm damaged, no one can love me."

Mrs. Shepherd took Meredith's face in her hands and looked her right in the eyes. "You are a great person Meredith Grey. You are strong, independent, smart, stubborn, and caring. Since school started and you have been around us I have gotten to know you and the last 2 months that you have been with us regularly has just confirmed what I suspected of you. Derek has changed since he has known you and Beth adores you as much as she does her sisters. You deserve to be here and Jason would want you to be happy."

Meredith was at a loss for words. "I…thank-you Mrs. Shepherd but, she's my mother I'm not your responsibility and I won't be a burden to you and your family."

"No there is no but. You are not a burden. You help out around the house when you are asked and this room has never been cleaner. You are going to stay with us and that is final. I will talk to your mother tomorrow and…"

Before she could finish Mr. Shepherd cut her off as he came into the room and took a seat next to Meredith. "That won't be necessary. I spoke to her already and she is aware that you will be staying with us Meredith."

Meredith hung her head. "I'm sorry."

Mr. Shepherd shared a look with his wife and then looked back at Meredith. He put his hand under her chin and slowly raised her head so she was looking at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of Meredith. Cindy is right. You are going to stay with us. Dr. Grey is a great surgeon however I can't say the same about her parenting skills." Mr. Shepherd paused as he saw the smile on Meredith's face. "You can stay here for now. Cindy and I will talk more and when we figure everything out we will talk to you and your mother. I don't want you worrying about it any longer."

Meredith nodded. "Thank-you Mr. Shepherd. Thank-you very much." Meredith then gave him a hug.

Mr. Shepherd welcomed the hug and over her shoulder he saw his wife. He gave her a smile which she returned. "You're welcome Meredith." She pulled back. "Now let's go see what the other five have done to our kitchen shall we?"

Meredith giggled. "Well with Derek in there you probably should be a little worried."

Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd smiled back at her. They all stood and headed to the door. "I haven't given Derek as many lessons as the girls so you might be right Meredith. We better get in there."

They had made it to the door and the three of them entered all laughing.

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Meredith had just pulled into the driveway after a long tutoring session. The first thing she noticed was how dark the house looked before she noticed that both Cindy's and Derek's cars were in the driveway. She excited her car and grabbed her bags as she made her way to the kitchen door. When she opened the door she turned on the light just like always. "Derek, Beth, Cindy. Is anyone home?" Meredith yelled as she walked into the kitchen and she put her bag on the table. After pulling out some of her books she decided to get a drink so she turned to walk to the sink however after taking a couple steps she came around the counter and froze.

On the counter there were some vegetables that were partially cut and a knife that was lying with them. Next to that was blood which had run down the counter and made a circle on the floor. This is what had Meredith's attention.

After a few minutes of not moving Meredith quickly went to the sink and started some water. She cleaned up the vegetables and started cleaning up the blood. Once she was done she picked up her books before heading upstairs to shower and get ready for bed.

"We should have called Mer." Derek said as they pulled into the driveway.

"I didn't think it would take as long as it did. I guess I should have known how long of a wait we would have had." Cindy replied as she got out of the car.

Beth spoke as she got out of the car. "I'm sure Mer is just fine Derek it's not like she is a little kid."

"I'll clean up while you get the plates for dinner Beth."

"You don't have to Derek. I'll clean up the mess I made."

"Cindy, you can't get wet. Let Derek and Beth take care of everything tonight. It's okay to take one night off."

"I feel so foolish. I haven't cut myself like that since I was 13 and my mom was first teaching me how to cook."

"I'm sorry I distracted you mom. I was just so excited about the new movie and I wanted to tell you."

"It's okay sweetheart it wasn't your fault." Cindy said as she entered the kitchen while Michael was holding the door for her. She turned on the lights and immediately noticed the counter. "It's cleaned up."

Michael closed the door and took his jacket off before going over to her. "Meredith must have cleaned it up when she got home. Beth why don't you go let her know we have supper."

Derek started getting plates for the take out dinner they had brought home while Beth left the kitchen.

Minutes later Beth came in with Meredith right behind her.

"Thank-you Meredith for cleaning up my mess. You really did not need to do that."

Meredith saw the bandage on Cindy's hand and immediately went to her. She grabbed Cindy's hand and started inspecting it. "Are you alright? What happened? Was it an accident? Why didn't anyone call me?"

Cindy looked to Michael as Meredith was rattling off questions and Michael stepped forward. "Meredith it's okay." He went on to tell her what happened and then the four of them sat down for dinner. After dinner they spent a little time watching TV before everyone headed to bed.

"_Just sit here and don't move Meredith."_

"_Why mommy?"_

"_Because I said so. No matter what you do not move understand?"_

"_I understand mommy."_

"_Good. I want you to be extrodinary. Do you understand? In your life you need to grow up and be extraordinary."_

"_Ok mommy, I'll be extro…extrod…I will mommy." Meredith replied as she watched her mother with a scalpel and in seconds she saw blood. Meredith's eyes grew wide as she saw the red liquid flow. "Mommy. Mommy I'm going to call 911." Meredith yelled as she started to get up._

_Ellis stopped her. "No. No Meredith just stay with me. Promise me you will be extraordinary. Just promise me."_

_Meredith sat back down and watched as her mother slowly drifted out of conciseness._

Meredith sat up in bed breathing heavily. She looked around and realized where she was. After getting her breathing back under control she got out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. She quickly turned on the lights and went to the sink where she proceeded to get water before getting down on her hands and knees. Once on the floor she started scrubbing.

Michael moved to get out of bed when he heard Cindy. "Are you going down for some tea?"

"Yes."

"I'll come with you."

Michael nodded. "Do you feel okay?"

"I'm fine Michael I just feel like having some tea with my husband if that is okay."

Michael smiled as he waited for Cindy to join him at the door. They then started down the hall and before long noticed there was a light on in the kitchen.

"I wonder who left the light on."

"Oh well, I'll start the tea Michael while you grab the glasses." Cindy said as she took a few steps around the counter before pausing.

"Cindy are you okay?" Michael asked as he came up behind her however he saw what she was looking at and also paused.

There on the floor they saw Meredith scrubbing the floor. Her head was down so they could not see her face however they could see her shoulders shaking so they knew she was crying.

Cindy looked to her husband and silently told him she would take care of Meredith. Michael nodded his understanding and took a small step back. Cindy stepped closer to Meredith and knelt in front of her.

"Meredith."

Meredith continued scrubbing and Cindy repositioned herself so that she was more comfortable and she tried again. "Meredith dear."

Again there was no change so she tried again and this time as she spoke she reached her hands out to stop Meredith's motions. "Meredith stop please."

Meredith felt hands on her and stopped her movements but did not speak.

"Meredith what are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning the blood. It needs to be clean by the time she gets home."

"Before who gets home?"

"My mom. She will be released from the hospital soon. She left a message and I know she is going to be mad because I called 911 so I need to make sure it is all cleaned up." When she finished she went back to scrubbing.

Cindy looked to her husband. Who stepped forward and also knelt down next to Cindy. He reached forward and grabbed Meredith's hands like his wife had done before to stop her movements. "Meredith please stop this."

On hearing his strong voice Meredith looked up at the Shepherds. Cindy and Michael saw her tear streaked face. Cindy reached up to wipe some tears. "Meredith what is this about?"

Meredith didn't speak at first but after a minute she decided to answer. "I just have to clean up the blood."

"Dear you cleaned it all up earlier. There is nothing left to clean up."

"It stains. The blood it stains. I tried to get it all out but we'll need to replace the floors."

"Meredith please look. Look at the floor, there is no stain." Cindy said.

Michael on the other hand decided to listen to what Meredith was saying instead of getting her to change her mind. "Meredith how do you know we'll need to replace the floors?"

"It's what we had to do when…"

"When what Meredith?"

Meredith looked down at her hands which were being held by both Michael and Cindy. "It was when my mom cut her writs."

Cindy decided to ask the next question, "What do you mean Meredith?"

On hearing the question Meredith continued looking at her hands as she felt both of them being squeezed just a little bit and she went on to tell the story of what had happened.

Once she was finished she was crying and Cindy leaned forward and gently pulled Meredith into her arms and gently rocked her. "Sshh it's okay Meredith."

She soon finished crying and pulled back from Cindy. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. How would you like some warm milk?"

"I've never had it before."

Michael helped Cindy and Meredith stand after standing himself and he led them to the table. "It will help you sleep." Michael said as he went to the fridge.

Cindy sat with Meredith talking softly as Michael prepared the tea and milk. Once they all had had their drinks Meredith headed up to bed. Cindy and Michael cleaned up the dishes before they also went up to bed. Once they were in bed Michael turned over to hold Cindy and found tears running down her cheeks. "Cindy?"

"She's been through so much Michael. She was only five. What kind of mother does that to a five year old? And she let her husband hurt her."

"I know Cindy but its okay, she's with us now and we will make sure that she doesn't go through anything like that again."

"Thank-you Michael."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For doing the right thing."

"Oh you know I have a soft spot for kids you let into the house. Look what happened with Mark."

Cindy chuckled a little. "You love that boy just like he was your own and you know it. Plus he's been good for Derek."

"I suppose you are right. Meredith has been good for all of us. Besides, we have enough love to share and Meredith needs it. I hate that she doesn't realize what a special young lady she is. I see what good this family has been for Mark and I want to do the same for her, not out of pity but because she deserves it."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight Cindy."

"Goodnight Michael."

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Meredith spent the next three weeks working and spending time at the library. She told the Shepherds she was studying and she made sure she wasn't a bother to them. They didn't seem to mind since they never heard any differently. Friday night came and that Friday was a quiet night. The entire family was home since Mr. Shepherd had the night off. After dinner the family made their way into the living room to watch TV and catch up on reading. Meredith had excused herself to her room and came back down about 20 minutes later. She made her way into the living room and over to Mrs. Shepherd. She kneeled down next to her and cleared her throat nervously. "Mrs. Shepherd, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Mrs. Shepherd had noticed that Meredith had been different through dinner and as she looked into her eyes she could tell Meredith was nervous. "Of course dear, what is it?"

Meredith looked around the room and saw everyone else looking at her. "Can we go to my room?"

"Of course." She stood and turned back to the others in the room as Meredith started for the stairs. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She gave her husband a kiss and followed Meredith.

They made their way up to Meredith's room and when they stepped in Mrs. Shepherd took a seat on the bed while Meredith went to her desk. She grabbed something from the top and went to sit next to Mrs. Shepherd before handing her a folder. "I…" On the top of the folder was a check that Mrs. Shepherd picked up.

"What's this?" Mrs. Shepherd asked as she looked from the check to Meredith.

"It's…I wanted to retain your services." She watched as Mrs. Shepherd just looked at her. With her silence she continued and pointed to the folder. "I've done all the research but I need your help with filing the paperwork. I know it's not a lot of money and I will continue to pay you when I get paid."

"You got a job?"

"I've been tutoring and babysitting when I can, I was going to go to the mall and see if I can find anything next week that I can do during school. I am supposed to get a trust fund from my aunt when I turn 21 but I thought maybe there is a way to get it before then if you could help me."

Mrs. Shepherd had been looking through the folder of papers. She looked back up to Meredith. "Meredith?"

"She doesn't love me, you heard her. I've been on my own for years anyway, and I want to make it official. Mrs. Shepherd please help me. I know I have no right to ask but other lawyers want the money up front and I can't afford to pay it all now so I was hoping I could pay you gradually. I'll pay you every penny I promise." Meredith grabbed a paper from the folder and put it on top. "Here is my payment plan. If I can get a job at the mall I can pay you back faster but I didn't want to count on that but here is what I can pay you monthly for right now."

"What brought this on now Meredith?"

Meredith stood and started pacing. "It's not sudden. I talked to Jason about it a few years ago before…he always talked me out of it thinking Ray would come around and he was so sure if Ray came around then Ellis would accept me. I always laughed at his choice of words. I mean why should a mother have to accept her own daughter? He was so sure we could be a fa…family that I dropped it. After Jason died I knew…I didn't what to admit it but I knew we could never be what Jason wanted. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of and if there was any way to get Jason back I would."

"I know you would honey and I am so sorry that you have to be dealing with this. But why this?"

"I need to be free. I need to be out on my own. She makes me feel…she makes me feel like I am nothing. I am in her shadow and I can't breathe, I just can't live here anymore. The last few weeks that I have been with you and your wonderful family have shown me what I have been missing. I know I won't have what you all have but I need a fresh start. This can be my fresh start. I've done all the research and I think I have all the paperwork filled out but I need you to check it and then file it and be with me in court. I can redo anything I need to. Under the circumstances I wanted to see about accessing my trust fund early and I couldn't find any information on that so I was also hoping you could help with that. If I can get to that money I can pay you back right away and then I can get an apartment."

"Why do you need an apartment, you have a room here?"

Meredith sat back down wanting to look Mrs. Shepherd in the eyes so she knew how much she appreciated what she had done for her. "My mom isn't right about a lot of things but she was right about me hurting your family. I need to be on my own. I'm taking Nancy's room and eating your food. I am using your water and your electricity and not paying for it. I can't keep doing that and I don't want Beth or the others…I just…its better if I'm not around you all. You need to go back to being your family." Meredith paused but Mrs. Shepherd didn't say a word. "Mrs. Shepherd, please say you will help me I don't have the money for anyone else and I know I don't for you either but I promise I will pay you back I know you don't have any reason to trust me but I promise." Still there was no response and Meredith's phone went off. She walked over and grabbed it. When she looked at the id she knew she had to leave. She turned back to Mrs. Shepherd. "I have to go, I'm babysitting tonight. I'm sorry I bothered you with this Mrs. Shepherd please just forget about it. I'll find someone else or…something." Meredith gently pulled the folder she had from Mrs. Shepherd and placed it back on the desk before practically running out of the room and down the stairs to her car.

Mrs. Shepherd heard the door close and looked up to an empty room. She shook her head and realized what Meredith had last said. She quickly got up and grabbed the folder before running after her. "Meredith wait…Meredith…Meredith please wait!" She yelled after her as she saw the car pull away. She saw the tears streaming down Meredith's face as she watched the car pull away.

"Mom?"

Mrs. Shepherd turned around and saw her husband and son with concerned looks on their faces standing at the door. She walked to them and let her husband pull her into a hug still holding the folder.

Derek saw the tears falling from his mothers face and was starting to feel uneasy about what might have happened to cause his mother to cry and Meredith to drive away. "Mom what happened?"

Mrs. Shepherd looked over her husband's shoulder and saw Derek. She then saw her daughters all standing behind them with the same questioning stares as Derek. She pulled back from her husband. "Let's go back to the living room."

Everyone made their way back into the living room and all took their seats. Mr. Shepherd sat next to his wife and held her hand. "Cindy, what happened? What did Meredith want and why are you upset?"

"Did anyone know that Meredith has a job?"

There was silence in the room until Beth spoke up. "She has three mom. She is working at the Y, she tutors kids, and she babysits. She only babysits on the weekends and sometimes she tutors then too but she said she prefers to only do that during the week because she doesn't like to think about school on the weekends."

Derek was surprised. He knew he hadn't seen her much lately but he didn't know she was working. "How do you know this and not the rest of us?"

Beth shrugged. "Because I asked her."

"What did you ask her and when?"

"I just asked her why she wasn't around very much because I liked spending time with her and I guess it was about 2 and a half weeks ago when I went to the movies with my friends. She said she needed the money for something important."

Cindy leaned towards her youngest daughter. "Did she tell you what it was she needed the money for?"

"She…we were talking about…she…"

"What is it sweetheart?" Michael asked his daughter this time.

"She told me not to say anything because it was our secret. I told her I wouldn't tell."

"Beth!" Derek raised his voice annoyed that Beth knew something about Meredith that he didn't and annoyed that she wasn't talking.

Michael turned to his son. "Derek that's enough." He then turned back to Beth. "It's ok to tell us Beth we just want to help Meredith so you can tell us."

"_Hey Beth get in, your mom sent me today." Meredith watched Beth get in the car and saw she looked upset. "What's the matter Beth?"_

"_Nothing, I'm fine."_

_Meredith smiled. "That's my word Beth, how about we go get some ice cream and you can tell me what's wrong."_

"_OK."_

_Meredith drove to an ice cream parlor. They each ordered their ice cream and then found a table to talk. _

"_Alright Beth, what is it?"_

"_Well theirs this boy…"_

"_Oh a boy…"_

"_Meredith."_

"_Sorry, go ahead."_

"_Well we've gone to the movies a couple times with our other friends and…we've kissed. I didn't mind the kissing but he started moving his hands around. I was a little uncomfortable with this so I asked him to stop. He stopped but he told me if I loved him it was time to do more than just kiss. Today during the movie he started to touch me and kiss me again. I tried to stop him and then he asked me if I loved him. I told him I cared about him but I wasn't ready to say love yet and then I left. I tried to talk to my friends about it but they all acted like I was crazy for questioning it. I just…I'm wondering if I made a mistake."_

_Meredith had been listening to her talk and started to panic a little. She had hoped it just had to do with her clothes or something easy but this was defiantly not easy. "Beth you should really talk to your mom or one of your sisters about this."_

"_Please Mer just tell me am I making a mistake?"_

"_Beth I'm not the best person to talk about relat….relationships and certainly not sex."_

"_I know what my mom will say. She will say just what the teachers say…abstinence is the best protection. Mer I'm not wanting the how to speech I want to know more like how do you know it's time to have sex or that it's right?"_

_Meredith was silent for a moment. She looked at Beth and saw desperation in her eyes so she decided to just tell her what her feelings are. "Beth I'll tell you how I feel but when we get back you need to talk about this with your mom, deal?"_

"_Deal."_

"_Ok, I honestly can't tell you when you will know for sure that it is right because I haven't felt the right time yet."_

"_What?"_

"_Lower your voice. I'm a virgin. I've kissed a couple boys and there was one that almost went further but…" Meredith sighed hoping for the right words. _

_Beth noticed the faraway look in her eyes and she also thought she saw hurt. "But what Meredith?"_

"_But…I will tell you this Beth but I want you to keep it between you and me ok?"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I don't want your parents getting mad at me for talking about this to you." Beth nodded so Meredith continued. "Two years ago I had a boyfriend named Finn. We went to a party that had alcohol. I got drunk and well…he took me to his car and we started to make out. He started to take off my shirt and somehow in my mind I realized what he was doing and that I didn't want to be doing it. I tried to push him away but he was two big. I started to cry when all of the sudden he was pulled off of me. My brother Jason had found me and Jason pulled him off of me. Alex helped me out of the car and I saw Jason had my boyfriend on the ground getting ready to punch him. I pulled away from Alex and went to Finn's side begging Jason to leave him alone. Jason looked at me and decided to take me home so he took me to his car and he started for home. Two blocks from home a drunk driver ran a stop sign and smashed into the driver's side of the car. Jason was killed immediately and I ended up in the hospital." Meredith stopped and had tears in her eyes._

"_I'm so sorry Mer."_

"_I'm telling you this because of what Jason said on the way home. When we left I was crying asking Jason how he could do that to me because I was only thinking about how Finn would probably never talk to me again. Jason grabbed my hand as he pulled to the side of the road and he made me look at him. He told me that if Finn really loved me then I wouldn't have been crying. He also told me the first time is supposed to be special because you can never get it back. When a man loves a women enough to make love to her it's never forced, it's gentle and loving, and not in the back seat of a car. I laughed at him and told him that we were told in health class how the first time always hurts the most so it was no big deal. That was one of the few times I saw anger flash across my brother's face. He said that what they teach you in health class is sex but being intimate with someone should be about making love because you love them and they love you. He then said that being intimate isn't something you should take lightly because you are giving a special piece of yourself to the other. He added that making love to someone is something you do when you are in a relationship with someone; it's not a onetime thing. I asked him how you know if you love someone enough to share that piece of you and he told me that you just know. I thought he was crazy. He said you can see it in their eyes, feel it in their touch, and hear it in their voice. Love is when you care more about the other's happiness than your own, you think about them every second of every day, your stomach does circles when you see them, and you want to do anything possible to take their pain away when you see them hurting. He then told me that I'll know when I finally find the man that makes me want to learn how to cook for him and that can put up with my stubbornness and my rambling. He also told me that the man he was talking about wouldn't mind being interrogated by my big brother." Meredith said with a smile. "He told me he loved me and that despite what our parents say I deserved to be loved the way he was describing and that was why he pulled Finn off of me. He asked me to promise him that I would wait until I found the man he described. After looking in his eyes I promised him I would wait forever even if I didn't deserve that kind of love. He smiled at me and told me again that I deserved to be loved like he described. He then promised I wouldn't have to wait forever once I let someone in to know me."_

_Beth still saw tears in Meredith's eyes. "Are you ok?"_

"_Listen the reason I told you that is because I think you deserve what Jason was talking about. You deserve to be loved like that and have that kind of relationship with someone."_

"_You do too Mer."_

_Meredith continued not even acknowledging Beth's comment. "Your parents, they are great people Beth and I think they have what Jason was talking about."_

"_I don't really want to talk about my parents being intimate Mer…bad, bad pictures."_

_Meredith laughed. "The love Beth, I'm talking about the love they have for each other and the relationship they have. That's why you need to talk to your mom about this."_

_Beth was silent for a second deciding if she should ask the next question but her curiosity got the best of her. "Meredith if he pulled off the road how did the accident happen?"_

"_When we were done talking he gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before he started the car again and got back on the road. We were talking about school and joking around. About 5 minutes later we turned into the neighborhood. It was weird because as soon as he turned I wanted to turn around but he laughed at me just like he always did when I told him I had a feeling. We were 2 blocks away, we were going through the intersection and I saw the car coming. I screamed for Jason to look out and I…I couldn't take my eyes away from his window. It was like we were moving in slow motion. I stared into the headlights of the car and I saw it hit us. After it hit I just remember waking up to Alex three days later in my hospital room. I didn't remember at first and then he told me and it all came back. I wanted to see Jason and Alex had to tell me that Jason hadn't survived. I asked about the funeral and Alex said the funeral was the day before. They couldn't even wait until I woke up to bury my brother. I never got to say goodbye to him." Meredith finished with tears in her eyes._

"_I'm so sorry Meredith." Beth said as she leaned over and gave her a hug._

"_Its fine, besides what hurts you only makes you stronger right? Or something like that, I think I forgot the saying." Meredith smiled. _

_The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Beth spoke again. "He said interrogated?"_

_Meredith smiled. "Yeah he was a little over protective."_

"_Would he really interrogate anyone you dated?"_

"_Honestly Beth I have no doubt he would have." Meredith smiled to Beth who was also smiling. "You better wipe that smile off your face, do you think your father, Derek, or Mark would really let you go out with just anyone?"_

_Beth's smile turned into a frown. "They wouldn't be bad would they?"_

"_I think it's safe to say that any boy you bring home better have a bullet proof vest on." Meredith laughed at the look on Beth's face. "Come on let's get home before someone comes looking for us."_

_They walked back to the car and started for home. Beth turned to Meredith. "Thanks Mer."_

"_You're welcome Beth. Just think about what I said ok? And don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You'll get there fast enough and trust me it's not all it's cracked up to be."_

"_OK." Beth replied and then after a few seconds of silence she spoke again. "Mer why haven't you been around much? I miss talking to you."_

"_Well I got another job tutoring some kids for summer school and on weekends I babysit sometimes. I need the money for something important for my mother."_

"_Why not ask daddy for money now that you're living with us?"_

"_Because he's your father and he already has five of you to worry about."_

"_What about your mom?"_

"_My mom doesn't believe in giving kids money. She's always told me you have to work for what you get so I'm working. It's no big deal and that way I can stay out of your parent's way."_

"_You're not in their way."_

_Just then they pulled into the driveway. "Go in and talk to your mom. I've got some studying to do."_

"_Ok, Mer. Thanks again and I'll come get you for supper." Beth replied as she made her way into the house and Meredith followed before going up to her room. _

Beth looked at both of her parents and she saw tears in their eyes. She even saw them in Derek's.

"You never talked to me Elizabeth."

"I'm sorry mom but I didn't have any more questions so I didn't need to talk to you. What Mer told me it made sense and I think she's right that I do deserve someone like that. I don't understand why she would say she doesn't. Why she doesn't know how amazing she is?" Beth said as she looked at each of her parents.

Mrs. Shepherd gave her daughter a hug and then turned back to her husband. "She is amazing."

Michael had listened to his youngest talking about sex or making love and at first he was upset that she would be talking to anyone but a family member until he heard everything that she was told. At that moment his heart grew a little bigger for Meredith. He knew Meredith could have just left Beth and not tried to help her or she could have told Beth to make her own decisions and of course to talk to her parents but Meredith had gone beyond that. She had treated Beth like a sister and not just that, she had also shared something personal about herself and what she had said about his relationship with his wife that got to him. He heard his wife and then remembered why they were all once again in the living room without Meredith when he saw his wife's tears. "Cindy, what happened, what brought this all about?"

"This." Cindy said as she handed the folder over to her husband. She watched as he opened the folder and started to go through the papers. "She wants my help." She chuckled a little. "She gave me this check saying she wanted to retain my services to help her file the paperwork and to represent her in court."

Derek stepped closer to his father and looked over his shoulder. "What does she need a lawyer for mom?"

"Emancipation."

"What?" Beth asked.

"She wants to divorce her mother. She wants to be considered an adult."

Michael had looked through the paperwork and found what looked like a budget. "What is this?"

"It's her plan to pay me back. She said she is going to try and get a job at the mall next week so she will have a job during school which will help her pay me back faster. She also said something about getting her own apartment. She has been tutoring other students, keeping her job at the Y, babysitting, and anything else we ask her. She does it all without complaining and without wanting anything in return. She acted as though she was ashamed to be asking me for my help because she didn't have the money right away."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't answer her. She got a call and…I think she figures that I won't help her. I saw the tears coming down her face when she left the driveway. I want to help her Michael. I was in shock. You saw those papers, I have assistants to do all that for me and it can take them months to get everything ready. She has been doing this for 3 weeks but only having a few hours each day. I know she's not our daughter yet but I want to help her."

"Yet?" Michael asked.

Cindy looked at Derek who was now closer to his sisters as they were thumbing through the paperwork not knowing what it all meant. She looked back to her husband. "Michael you know the way he looks at her do you really think it's just a crush? You use to look at me like that."

"Use too?"

Cindy laughed. "Ok you still do, it's in the eyes, just like Jason said. The point is he is in love with her and when they both realize they feel the same way about each other, I would bet money on it that he will have a ring on her finger in the next few years and her last name will be Shepherd."

"I learned a long time ago not to bet against you and for the record I saw the look the night he woke me to help her."

"Mom what are you going to do?" Derek asked stepping forward and giving her the folder. He didn't know what everything in the folder meant but he knew Meredith had asked for help and if he needed to he would help convince his mother to help her.

Cindy and Michael shared a glance and Michael nodded. "I'm going to help her." Cindy replied and then glanced at the clock before looking back to the girls. "I think it's time for bed."

There was a chorus of oks, goodnights, and I love you's as the four girls all gave Michael and Cindy a hug.

Beth watched the others head up to bed and then turned to Derek. She gave him a hug. "Thank-you for brining her here Der." Derek didn't say anything and she gave her mom a hug next. "I love you mom." Next she gave her dad a hug. "I love you daddy."

Michael held her for a few seconds longer than past hugs. "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up honey; you'll get there soon enough."

Beth smiled. "I know daddy. Mer told me the same thing."

"She is a smart girl. Just remember sweetheart that your mother and I are always here for you and you can talk to us about anything."

"I know but some things, it's just easier to talk to non parent types. I know Mer's had a tough life. She's told me a little about her mom and I heard what Ellis said the other day. She needs more people like Jason around her people that love her so we can show her how great she really is and prove to her that she deserves to be loved just like the rest of us. And mom, I'm glad you're going to help her. Goodnight." Beth finished and headed up the stairs.

"Who was that?"

Cindy chuckled as her, Michael, and Derek took seats. "That my dear is your baby girl."

"She's not a baby anymore mom."

"You're right Derek; she is becoming a young woman."

"She is only 14."

"Going on 15 honey. I'm glad she had Meredith to talk to, what she said to her, I couldn't have said it better myself."

"Yeah." Derek sighed

"Yeah." Michael added in. "And what she said about our relationship…" Michael paused and then looked to Derek. "She is pretty amazing Derek."

"Yeah." Derek said again.

Michael and Cindy chuckled at their son. "Derek?"

"Yeah."

"Derek!"

"W…what?" Derek questioned looking at both his parents who were both laughing now.

"Goodnight son. We will wait up for Meredith."

"Thanks dad. Goodnight and goodnight mom. I love you both." Derek finished before heading up to bed feeling better knowing that his mom was going to help Meredith.

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_Looking back I wonder if my mom coming that day was her way of telling me she missed me and really wanted me back in the house. If that was the case maybe had she just come out and said it I would have moved back. We'll never know since it didn't go that way, in a way I'd like to think I would have because she was my mom and I know that Jason loved her and would have wanted me there._

_I still remember the day mom slit her wrists. I never told anyone about that, not even Jason. Telling the Shepherds was easier than I thought it would have been. They didn't judge me but I could tell they were upset that it had happened. In a way I think it made us closer because they had found out a little more about my past. I know that by me sharing this story with them I started to trust them and I hope they felt the same way._

_As far as the emancipation, it never happened. Mrs. Shepherd did help me however the judge did not rule in my favor. I thought that my mom and Ray would have blown off the court date but they surprised me and both showed up. Because of this the judge said that since they still wanted me and there was no real proof of any abuse he turned down my request. I was devastated and I could tell that Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd were upset. Mrs. Shepherd appealed however the judge did not change his mind. He did however let me stay with the Shepherds instead of forcing me back which I was grateful for and my mom didn't object. Of course it wasn't until later that I found out why she didn't object. She was calculating her own way of getting me back in the house. I should have known she wouldn't give up._

Author's note: Sorry this has taken so long. I hope there is still interest and if you have a chance please let me know what you think. Hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker than this one.


	4. Chapter 4

It was Mrs. Shepherd's Birthday so Mr. Shepherd had organized a family dinner. Mark, Meredith, Derek, and the four girls were all sitting around the table for dinner. Conversation was light. Everyone was talking about school starting the next week. There was a moment of silence and Beth decided to change the topic of conversation. "So Meredith when are you going to have your boyfriend over for dinner?"

Derek seemed to choke on his food while everyone else in the room starred at Meredith in shock. Meredith looked wide eyed at Beth and was about to say something when Mrs. Shepherd cut her off. "What is his name Meredith?"

"No name Mrs. Shepherd, I don't have a boyfriend."

"Yes you do, I saw you kiss him yesterday."

"What's his name Meredith?" Nancy asked.

Meredith didn't want to answer but she felt everyone's eyes on her. "Curt."

Mr. Shepherd was now more interested since Meredith had answered with a name he wondered if this boy was really someone he should be concerned by. "So how old is this boy, where did you meet him, and what is his full name Meredith?" Mr. Shepherd asked as he raised his eyebrow to Meredith.

Derek and Mark shared a look as small smiles appeared on their faces knowing that if Mr. Shepherd was asking questions Meredith was more than just a house guest and they also knew that he wouldn't let just anyone date Meredith.

Meredith was a little nervous. She hadn't had anyone ever question her about anyone she was seeing and there was a part of her that was glad. She looked at Mr. Shepherd in the eyes. "He will be a senior this year, he's a lifeguard at the Y, and his name is Curtis Spink."

Once they heard his name both Derek and Mark dropped their forks. "Spink!"

All eyes went to Derek and Mark who now had their mouths open. "So you know him boys?"

Derek looked to Mark asking him with his eyes to answer so that he wouldn't have to be the bad guy. Mark understood and answered. "Yes Mr. Shepherd he just moved from Florida. He's on the football team so we know him from practice."

"That must be hard leaving school right before your senior year."

"That's what I thought Mrs. Shepherd but he told me his mother got a promotion so she moved the family. He said he knew it was best for the family so it didn't bother him much. And he has an older brother and a little sister."

Mr. Shepherd had been watching Meredith and also watching Derek and Mark. He knew that there was something that they were not telling. He made it a point to speak to them after dinner. "Well I expect to meet him. I think next Saturday will be a good time. What do you think Cindy?"

"I can make dinner for everyone. Mer?"

"OK…I'll ask him."

"No asking Meredith. If he is serious about seeing you he will be here for dinner next Saturday." Mr. Shepherd said and after he saw the nod from Meredith he looked at the others around the table. "Time for presents. You kids clean up and I'll take your mom into the living room. Come join us when you are done." Everyone got up as Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd made their way to the living room while Derek, Mark, and the girls all cleaned up.

Everyone was joined in the living room and Mrs. Shepherd started opening her presents. Meredith tried to stay in the background and once all the presents were opened Mr. Shepherd announced it was time for cake and ice cream. The kids all got up right away and made their way back to the dining room with Mr. Shepherd following.

Mrs. Shepherd got up and was going to follow when Meredith grabbed her arm. "Mrs. Shepherd?"

Mrs. Shepherd turned around. "Yes dear."

Meredith handed her a small box and a card. "I was hoping you could open my gift."

"Of course. Why didn't you want me to open it in front of the others?"

"Because I couldn't afford anything and…" Meredith trailed off not wanting to finish.

"Gifts are not about money Meredith." Mrs. Shepherd said as she opened the card and read it. After reading it she quickly opened the box and gasped when she saw the necklace. It was a sterling silver heart pendant with two aquamarine stones going up on the left side of the heart. She smiled and lifted it from the box. "It's beautiful Meredith. Can you help me put it on?"

Meredith took the necklace and put it on Mrs. Shepherd. Mrs. Shepherd turned around and Meredith adjusted it so the heart was hanging just right. "I think it looks perfect on you."

Mrs. Shepherd pulled Meredith into a hug. "I will be honored to wear this and please call me Cindy, Mrs. Shepherd makes me feel old and I'm not ready to be old yet."

They pulled apart and each had a smile on their faces. "Thank-you Mrs…Cindy."

"Good. Now you better get going or you will miss your movie. Be home by midnight. And don't forget about dinner Saturday." She gave Meredith a hug and a kiss on the check before turning back to the dining room and Meredith left the house.

Mrs. Shepherd made her way to the dining room and found everyone waiting for her. "Sorry, I said goodbye to Mer." She turned to her husband. "She will be home by midnight and I reminded her about next Saturday."

Nancy was about to light the candles on the cake when she saw the necklace. "Where did you get the necklace mom, is it new?"

Mrs. Shepherds hand caressed it and she smiled. "It was a gift from Meredith."

When she heard Nancy, Beth turned to inspect what had caught Nancy's attention. She did a double take and then got out of her chair and approached her mother. "Mom can I see it?"

"Sure honey." Mrs. Shepherd said as she raised her chin to allow Beth to get a better look.

Beth lightly lifted the heart and turned it over. When she did this she put her hand over her mouth. "Oh."

Everyone was now looking at Beth. "What is it Beth?"

"That was Meredith's necklace."

"I know it was honey, I told you it was her gift."

"No mom that WAS her necklace. Her brother gave that to her."

"How do you know that?" Nancy asked as Mrs. Shepherd took the necklace off.

Beth grabbed it and turned it over. She pointed to the back. "He had it engraved for her; it was the last gift he gave her before the accident. See it says 'Love Jay'. She said he told her it was to always remind her that she was loved even if Ellis and his father told her differently."

The room was silent. They all knew how much Jason had meant to her and they never thought she would give anything away that he had given her. Mrs. Shepherd got up and entered the living room with Mr. Shepherd following her. Derek stood by the doorway with Mark and Beth close by.

"Michael I can't keep this, it means too much to her."

"Cindy she wouldn't have given it to you if she didn't want to. You know she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do."

"I know but…"

"What did she say to you?"

"She gave me this card." Cindy handed him the card.

Michael took the card and read it out loud.

_Mrs. Shepherd, You have opened your heart and your home to me and I can't even express how much that means to me. I know I'm not related to you by blood but my brother always told me that mothers should have a birthstone for each of their children. I would be honored if you would wear the enclosed and remember how much you have helped me and know how much I think of you. Love Meredith_

"Well for someone who likes to avoid everything and not talk, she sure has a way with words doesn't she?" Michael asked as he looked to his wife.

Cindy nodded. "I told her to call me Cindy. That girl is amazing Michael, she keeps getting thrown lemons and she doesn't complain. I wish Derek and Mark had met her sooner so that she could have come into our lives before all the bad stuff."

Michael smiled. "At least we have her around now. So what are you going to do about the necklace?"

"I'm going to wear it like she asked until March."

"What is March?"

"Her birthday. I know what we are going to get her for her birthday." Cindy said with a smile.

"What?"

"I'll tell you later dear, there are too many ears around."

"Then we will talk later. Let's go get some cake and ice cream before it melts." Michael said as he helped her put the necklace back on and grabbed Cindy's hand. They then made their way back into the dining room.

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Cindy had a rare day off and had just finished her last load of laundry and finally delivered the clothing to the correct rooms. She was in Meredith's, after putting the clothes on the bed she looked around and noticed some magazines and papers that were sticking out from under the bed. Cindy sighed and decided to straighten up for Meredith before leaving so she bent down to pick them up. She pulled them out and put them on the bed before taking a seat and she started stacking them up then she looked at the papers. She saw some of them were old tests and other school work that she stacked up. What was left after being unburied from the rest caught Cindy's eyes.

She reached forward and grabbed the few pieces of papers and pamphlets that were left and pulled them to her as she started to read through them. As she was reading she heard the phone ring. She let the answering machine pick up as she continued reading.

'_You've reached Meredith Grey; sorry I can't answer right now I'm studying. Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you eventually…Beep'_

'_Ms. Grey this is Dr. Smith's office calling. Dr. Smith wanted me to set up another appointment for your surgery. Please call us back so we can set up a time for you to come in. You can reach us at 555-5555, thank-you.'_

As soon as the message was over Cindy grabbed her basket and left the room with the papers still in her hand. She made her way downstairs and paged her husband. Once she had sent the page she went into the living room and took a seat on the couch to wait for her husband.

After a few minutes the phone rang and Cindy almost jumped out of her skin before answering. "Hello."

"Cindy are you ok? You paged, you never page unless there's something wrong with the kids. What's wrong?"

"Do you know a Dr. Smith?"

"Yes I've met her once. She works at Mercy West. Why are you asking?"

"When do you get off tonight?"

"I just finished. I thought we could all go out to eat tonight. Cindy what's wrong?"

"I…can you come home now?"

"Is it one of the kids?"

"Yes…no…Michael can you come home now?"

Michael was already in the car. As soon as he heard Cindy's voice he knew something was wrong and left the hospital knowing he was done for the night. "I'm on my way now ok?"

"Good, that's good. We can talk before the kids get home."

"Ok, I'll be there in about 5 minutes. I love you."

"I love you too." Cindy replied as she hung up the phone and went back to looking at what she was holding.

Michael entered the house and after not seeing Cindy in the kitchen he went to the living room. He found her on the couch deep in thought. As he made his way around to the front of her he saw the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. He immediately sat down and wrapped his arms around her. "Cindy what happened?"

Cindy pulled back and without saying a word she gave the papers she was holding to her husband.

Michael took what was handed to him and he started looking through them. Once he had looked through them he looked back to his wife with sad eyes. "Why didn't she tell us?"

"She's with Derek and Beth. They were going for ice cream after school to celebrate Beth doing well on a test."

Michael was a little confused. "Did she tell you?"

Cindy shook her head no. "I took her laundry up and was straightening up for her when I found those. Dr. Smith's office called to set up an appointment for the surg…surgery. What are we going to do Michael?"

Michael kept looking from Cindy to the papers in his hand. Meredith had been living with them for six months and she had worked her way into all of their hearts. He saw the way Derek looked at her and he knew that Derek would be heartbroken if anything happened to her but the truth was so would he because she was like a daughter to him and he wanted to protect her just like he would Beth or any one of his daughters. He also saw the worry in his wife's eyes and he knew for all their sakes Meredith would be ok. "I'm going to call Dr. Smith." Michael pulled out his cell phone and called the number. He knew he wasn't her father but somehow he managed to get all his questions answered and he let the office know that Meredith would be calling to confirm her appointment. When he was done he turned back to Cindy. "Call Derek and tell him he needs to come home. We need to talk to Meredith."

Cindy grabbed the phone and quickly called Derek. She tried to act like nothing was wrong. "Derek."

Derek, Meredith, and Beth were sitting at the ice cream parlor enjoying their ice cream. Derek felt his phone vibrate and quickly answered it after looking at the caller id. "Hi mom, did you change your mind about us bringing you something back?" Derek said with a smile.

"No, no Derek I called because I need you, Meredith, and Beth to come home now."

"We're almost done mom."

"Derek! You need to come home now."

Derek could tell something was wrong. He had heard his mother upset before but this was different. "Ok mom we'll leave right now."

"Good, drive safe."

"Goodbye mom."

"Goodbye Derek, I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in a few minutes." Derek said as he hung up. He looked between Meredith and Beth. "We need to go. Mom said we need to get home and she didn't sound…something's wrong." Meredith and Beth stood with him and then went out to the car. After everyone was in and had their seatbelts on, Derek drove towards home.

Cindy hung up the phone and looked back to Michael. "They are on their way. What did Dr. Smith say?"

"She needs surgery; they want to cut out the tumor and then, chemo therapy."

Cindy's eyes began to tear up again. "Chemo?"

Michael grabbed Cindy's hands and squeezed. "Cindy, the tumor is small and Dr. Smith thinks that it hasn't spread yet. The chemo is to make sure they get it all. She is only suggesting 4-5 treatments."

"Will she get sick or lose her hair?"

"She may, it is chemo. Look I know it's scary but they caught it early. Meredith has said she didn't want the surgery and Dr. Smith was concerned because of how early it is she didn't want Meredith to keep putting this off which is why she has been calling Meredith for the last 2 weeks. I just don't understand why she didn't tell us."

Cindy was silent for a moment and then looked back to her husband. "You know how she is; she's always so worried that she is going to burden us."

"That is just plain stupid!" Michael exclaimed.

Cindy looked at him with wide eyes. She was surprised by his choice of words and his outburst.

Michael saw her shocked expression. "She is part of this family and when you are part of our family, it is not a burden to lean on others."

"I know that however you know Meredith was raised well maybe raised isn't the right word. Meredith was conditioned by Ellis and Ray to be independent and not to lean or ask for others help because that's a sign of weakness. You just said she is part of our family."

Michael smiled at his wife. "Yes I did say our family. She has worked her way into my heart just like she has yours, Derek's, and the girls. And like you said a few months ago she will be a Shepherd eventually."

Cindy still had tears in her eyes after listening to her husband. "I'm worried Michael. This is cancer, she can't…"

Michael pulled her into a hug as he spoke. "Meredith will be ok, she will beat this."

"What if it's not ok, what if she can't beat this?"

Michael continued to hold her. "Ssh, Cindy we can't think about the what if's. Dr. Smith is very optimistic about Meredith's prognosis. We just have to be there for Meredith and help her fight this. Meredith is stubborn and strong, she's a fighter but it sounded like she didn't want to fight this. We need to get her to fight so we don't have time for what if's Cindy."

"I love you."

"That's good to know since we are still married." Michael smiled.

Cindy smiled back at him as she heard the door open.

Derek, Meredith, and Beth all entered through the kitchen. They didn't see Cindy so they made their way to the living room. Beth was the first one to enter. "Daddy you're home early." She said as she gave him a hug.

Derek saw Cindy who had tear stains still on her cheeks and Michael had a worried expression. Derek stepped away from Meredith and closer to his mom. "What is it mom?"

Cindy didn't want to worry Derek but she knew that she and Michael needed to talk to Meredith on their own. She looked back to Derek as she spoke. "It's ok Derek, your father and I just need to speak with Meredith alone. Can you and Beth go up to your rooms?"

Derek looked to Meredith and couldn't see her face since it was turned down. He looked back to his father who nodded. He didn't want to defy his father but something told him he shouldn't leave Meredith alone. "I think it would be better if I stayed with Mer."

Michael looked to Cindy and knew that she was right and they needed to talk to Meredith by themselves so he addressed Derek with a tone that left no room for argument. "Derek, your mother asked you to go upstairs. We will call you both down for dinner when it is time to eat." Michael watched Beth head towards the stairs while Derek stared at Meredith wanting her to look at him. "Derek I don't want to tell you again. Upstairs now." Michael watched his son reluctantly head to the stairs. He then turned back to Meredith and Cindy. "Meredith will you please come sit down, Cindy and I need to speak to you."

Meredith walked over to a chair that was next to the couch and she sat. Cindy and Michael sat on the couch. "Ok."

After a few moments of silence Michael started the conversation. "I spoke to Dr. Smith today. Why didn't you come to us Meredith?"

Meredith was shocked that they knew. She had decided she didn't want anyone knowing so she wasn't ready to face it. She looked at both their faces and realized she couldn't push them away. They had opened their home to her and Cindy had helped her when she asked for help. She decided she would talk to them as long as they didn't push her on doing anything. "I am fine, I can handle this…you both have so much going on with your jobs and Derek and Beth, I didn't want to burden you with my problems." Meredith said as she looked to the door trying to figure out her escape route.

Cindy and Michael shared a look and Cindy turned back to Meredith. She placed her hand on Meredith's knee. "You are not a burden Meredith. You have never been a burden and you never will be. This is something serious; you need to talk about this. Michael and I will help you."

Meredith saw the look in Cindy's eyes and wanted to accept any help they would offer but she couldn't she wouldn't bring her burdens into this family. She stood and started for the door. "I…I have to go, I need to go study." Meredith said as she started towards the door.

Derek made his way to the stairs however when he started up them he met Beth just around the turn of the stairs. She was sitting there. He made his way up to her and sat down next to her as he whispered. "What are you doing here; I thought dad told you to go to your room?"

"He said to go upstairs and I am; besides I want to know what is going on. Mom was crying when we came home and now they want to talk to Meredith." Beth whispered back.

Derek put his arm around her shoulder. "I'm worried too." Derek pulled his phone out that was vibrating. He saw it was Mark and debated ignoring it but he decided to answer in a whisper. He told Mark what had happened when they got home and how his father had raised his voice. He hushed Mark when he heard Meredith's panicked voice and he handed the phone to Beth as he moved down a few stairs so he was closer. He peaked around the corner so he could see into the living room.

"You are not walking out that door Meredith." Michael said as he grabbed Meredith's arm. He had stood as she went to walk past him and then he turned part of his body back to see his wife.

Meredith was panicking and she didn't know how to get out of there but she knew she didn't want to talk about this any longer. She heard Michael and when he grabbed her arm she remembered Ray. She pulled herself free from him. "You are not my father." As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. She watched Michael turn and she immediately fell to the floor covering her head. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

Derek and Beth were now both watching. Neither of them knew what this was all about but both knew that their father would never hurt anyone. When Derek saw Meredith on the ground he knew that had to do with Ray. He was frozen. Derek looked over at his sister and saw tears coming down her face.

Cindy had seen what happened and quickly walked to Meredith. She looked at her husband. "It's ok Michael." She watched as he stepped back and then she knelt down by Meredith. "Meredith sweetheart?" Cindy placed her hands on Meredith's wrists and pulled her hands down. "Meredith please look at me."

Meredith looked up with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'll just leave, I'll go..."

Cindy helped Meredith stand up. "I know you don't want to talk about this but you need to."

Meredith had wiped her face. "I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about Cindy really, and I'm fine."

Cindy led Meredith to the couch and sat beside her. Michael followed but kept his distance when he sat on the couch. "I know you avoid but Meredith, we need to talk about this."

There was silence until Michael spoke. "Dr. Smith is a good doctor Meredith…"

Meredith turned to Michael and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry I said that, I just…I'm sorry."

Michael knew she was sorry and he also knew she didn't mean to hurt him just by looking in her eyes. "Don't be sorry Meredith; I'm not your father. Just forget about it. I do want you to know that I would never hurt you."

Meredith nodded as she felt some relief. "I just don't want to talk about this. There is nothing to worry about. I am fine."

"Meredith, I saw the notes from Dr. Smith, and Michael talked to her. You have to have this surgery."

Derek's heart stopped for a second when he heard his mother say that Meredith needed a surgery. Beth had the phone in her hands and she told Mark what had happened but she didn't wait for an answer as she closed the phone so she could concentrate on the conversation going on in the living room.

"It's nothing; I'm not going to have surgery."

"Meredith, you can't not do anything, and you can't keep going on as though nothing is wrong, it could get worse."

"Cindy I appreciate your concern but I am fine."

"Meredith we won't just let you do nothing. You need the surgery and treatment."

"I can't." Meredith said as she dropped her eyes to the table.

Cindy rubbed Meredith's back. "Why can't you?"

"Because."

"Meredith use your words, why can't you?" Michael asked.

"Because it's my body and I want to…I don't want…I can't let…I don't want to be alone." Meredith finished looking down.

"What are you talking about?"

Meredith looked up to Cindy avoiding Michael's eyes. She had tears in her eyes. "I haven't…Curt and I haven't…Dr. Smith said they would cut it out and I'll have a scar and I won't be me anymore and Curt he said…"

Michael was getting more and more upset each time she said his name. "What did he say Meredith?" He asked clearly upset.

"We were talking about a month ago and he said his sister-in-law, his brother told him about his wife. He said he told him the scar is ugly and her clothes all look different on her. He said he couldn't imagine a woman allowing that to happen to themselves and he would never want a woman who had it done."

"That…" Michael started but Cindy cut him off. "Was that when you found out about the surgery?"

Meredith nodded. "I knew that he was right. No man would ever want someone who was damaged like that and she said it wasn't bad. So I called them and told them I wasn't going to do the surgery."

"He's wrong Meredith. There are many men out there that are with women who have had to go through this. The important thing is for you to be healthy. Dr. Smith said it's not that bad because you caught it early enough, if you don't do anything now Meredith you could…you can't just ignore this, it's not going to go away." Cindy said with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Thank-you Cindy but no, I just want to forget about this."

Michael was angry after hearing what Curt had said to her. He couldn't believe someone would say something so cruel about women who had survived this horrible disease. "You have to have the surgery Meredith."

Meredith still had a set jaw and shook her head no.

"Meredith." Cindy pleaded again.

They were pleading with her and she couldn't take it anymore. She had made up her mind and she wasn't going to change it but then she saw their faces. She couldn't understand why they were pushing so hard, why did they care? She had tears in her eyes and when she looked at Cindy she saw her tears as well. She stood up quickly and this time she ran for the door calling out as she reached the door and pulled it open ready to run. "Why are you all pushing so hard?"

Cindy and Michael stood to go after her. Michael took a few quick steps to follow after her hoping the door was locked so she would have to stop. He saw her with her hand on the door and as if in slow motion she turned the handle. He knew he needed to stop her and the only way he knew to do that was to be honest with her. Because of that he raised his voice as he called after her. "Because we love you!" Meredith turned to him and Michael saw Mark standing in the doorway however his eyes went back to Meredith. "That's right Meredith we love you. You have found your way into our family and our hearts. We are not going to let you ignore this."

There was silence in the room. Meredith blinked more tears as she looked at Michael. "You…you love me?" She watched him nod. "But what I said, and my mother, and my past, and…"

Michael cut her off. "Meredith Grey, I told you to forget about what you said and you are not your mother. Your past, I don't know everything about it but I do believe that everything that you have been through has made you who you are today and I am looking at a very strong, independent, stubborn young woman. You are also very caring and extremely smart. You have made your way into each of our hearts how could we not love you? Jason was right about you Meredith, you do deserve love and you are going to make an amazing surgeon but to do that Meredith you need to be around so you need to have this surgery and the treatment."

Meredith had listened to Michael and saw Cindy now standing next to him. She looked at Cindy as if questioning what he was saying.

"He's right Meredith. We love you like a daughter. We know you have only been with us a few months so I will just tell you; being part of our family means we support each other especially in times like this."

Meredith still couldn't bring herself to say anything. She heard both Michael and Cindy talking but all that was repeating in her head was 'we love you'.

Michael stepped closer to her and put his hand under her chin. With one finger he slowly lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eyes. "Meredith we love you. Cindy loves you, Derek and the girls love you, and…I love you. You have cancer. I know this is scary, I'm even a little scarred but Meredith you can't just ignore it."

Meredith was looking into Michael's eyes even though they were hard to see through her tears. The more he spoke the more the tears came. He had always been nice to her but this was different. His words were like hammers to the wall she had built around her heart. When he was done, she knew what she needed to do. "Ok." She whispered.

Michael bent his knees so that they were eye level. "What was that?"

Meredith looked up to him. "I'll have the surgery and do the chemo."

Michael didn't say anything he just embraced her in a hug. He felt her tense up at first and then she relaxed and wrapped her arms around him. "We'll be there for you; you won't be alone through this."

Meredith let all her defenses down and cried while Michael's embrace became tighter.

Cindy walked over to her husband and put her hand on his shoulder. She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank-you." She then put a hand on Meredith's shoulder to let her know she was still there. She then turned to Mark who was still standing at the door. Cindy motioned him in and watched him close the door behind him. When Michael had said the word cancer she heard the quick intakes of breathe and she knew that Derek and Beth were on the stairs, listening just like their other three girls had always done. They listened at the spot that turns because it hid them well. She turned to the stairs and motioned for them to come down.

Derek saw his mom motion them down. He followed Beth down as his mother went back to stand by Meredith and his father. He watched his parents with Meredith and felt some relief knowing they were there to help take care of her and when his father said they all loved her he got a big smile on his face. He saw Beth crying so he pulled her in for a hug. "It's going to be ok Beth. Everything is going to be ok."

After Meredith's sobs turned to hiccups she pulled away from Michael and wiped her tears. "I'm ok." She gave Cindy a hug and when Cindy released her she looked back to Michael. "I think I need to make that appointment."

Michael smiled. "I think that would be a good idea."

Meredith walked to the phone and dialed the number. When someone answered she let them know why she was calling and after a couple minutes she had an appointment. "Next Friday at 1pm."

Michael stepped closer. "Meredith is there anything sooner?"

"Ok can you hold for just a minute? Thank-you." Meredith looked Michael in the eyes. "I don't want to miss school."

"And while I applaud you for that honey, this is something that needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Do they have anything before Friday?"

"Wednesday?" Meredith asked with a small smile.

"Anything else?"

"Tuesday?" Meredith asked a little disappointed.

Michael knew from his conversation earlier that there was an opening for the next day. He smiled at Meredith's attempt of negotiation. He knew Cindy and Derek could never say no to her and if it was under different circumstances he would have given in but this was too important so he stood his ground. "Meredith."

"Mon…" Meredith started to say but she saw the look on his face and decided she didn't want to push her luck so she gave in. "Tomorrow at 12pm."

Michael nodded and smiled. "That's better."

Meredith went back to the phone and set up the appointment. She asked the nurse to give Michael the instructions so she gave him the phone.

Michael looked at his watch and agreed with everything the nurse was telling him. Finally he hung up the phone and turned to his family. "It's early enough let's go out to eat for dinner tonight…" Michael stopped as he spotted Mark. "Are you ok?"

"Um, why do you ask?" Mark asked a little uncomfortable at what he had come across when the door opened.

Michael smiled wanting to lighten the conversation. He patted Mark on the back. "You have been coming to our house for 12 years now and this is the first time you haven't had something to say as soon as you enter the room. And it seems you are speechless. I think this is truly a first for you Mark."

Mark smiled back to Michael. "I can share the spotlight if it is appropriate."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Well seeing as you were professing your love and all I thought it best to keep my mouth shut." Mark leaned into Michael and lowered his voice. "Personally I always thought Derek would be the first to tell her. And for the record dad you are too old for her."

Michael chuckled at what Mark said to begin with however the last part of what he said stopped the chuckle. "Mark Sloan…Did you forget what a doorbell is or how to knock?" Michael asked.

"Sorry dad if you want I can go back out and knock."

Meredith smiled a true smile as she looked between Michael, Mark, Derek, Beth, and Cindy. "I think if you did that he would lock the door Mark." Everyone chuckled except for Michael.

Derek saw his father's face and decided to step in just like he always did when Mark pushed his luck. "Mark what brings you by?"

"Well your sister said something about Meredith and surgery before she hung up on me so I came over as fast as I could since you never called me back."

"Oh." Derek said hoping his father didn't hear.

Too late. "Derek and Elizabeth Shepherd, you were listening on the stairs weren't you?"

Mark leaned into Derek who was now standing next to him. "Sorry man."

Derek looked back to Mark. "You never know when to keep your mouth shut do you?"

Mark gave him an apologetic look while they were listening to his father lecture them about listening on the stairs. Derek tried not to laugh knowing this was probably the millionth time he had heard this lecture. All the times he got caught with his other sisters and it was the same lecture. He then heard Meredith's voice draw him out of his memories.

"Is it ok if I go freshen up before we get going?"

"Of course. Beth why don't you and I go get ready as well?" Cindy said as she led Beth up the stairs.

Meredith left to go freshen up and change clothes. She had to admit knowing the Shepherds loved her meant more to her than she thought and that made her smile. For the first time since she met with Dr. Smith she felt some hope that maybe she would be ok.

Once Cindy, Beth, and Meredith were out of the room Michael motioned for Derek and Mark to have a seat. While waiting for the women Michael answered Derek and Mark's questions about what was going on with Meredith. He also answered Derek's questions about Curt.

"I knew he wasn't good enough for her." Derek said clearly upset. "I have a few things I want to say to his sorry ass."

Michael smiled at Derek's words knowing that he really meant it but also knowing that the only man that would ever be good enough for Meredith in his eyes would be his son himself. "Just don't do anything to upset Meredith boys."

Mark nodded his understanding to Michael and then asked. "Is she going to be ok?"

"We won't know for sure until after the chemo but it was caught very early and Dr. Smith is very optimistic."

Mark looked to Derek. "Does Alex know?"

"No we just found out when we got home." Derek answered. He then turned to his father. "Dad would it be ok if I call Alex and Izzie to join us for dinner?"

Michael nodded. "I think that would be nice for Meredith. Go ahead."

"Mark call Izzie and I'll call Alex. Tell them to meet us at that Mexican restaurant she loves in half an hour." Derek said as he got up and Mark followed. They both made their calls and soon were back in the living room waiting.

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_Giving Jason's necklace away really wasn't that difficult because it was going to someone special to me. Cindy had opened her heart and house to me and I wanted to give her something special to show her how much I appreciated it. I got the necklace back on my birthday or rather a version of it. She and Dr. Shepherd had gone to the jeweler and had them recreate the necklace and added another heart to it to symbolize the Shepherds. It is absolutely beautiful._

_Since I never had a mother figure I didn't realize that she would be going into my room. Cindy wasn't someone who snooped as some would say so really them finding out about the cancer was my fault. At the time when Dr. Smith told me about what she found I was shocked. I was young and didn't think those things happened to teenagers. I suppose I could have just agreed to the surgery and not told the Shepherds but I was scared of what would happen after the surgery so I decided to avoid which is what I do best. _

_When Dr. Shepherd said they loved me I was shocked. The only other person that had ever said that was Jason. That was when the walls came down and agreeing to the surgery was my way to say that I knew they loved me so I would do whatever it took to stay around. I know there was a part of me that knew there were more hard times to come and that there was still some doubt of their love but I still agreed knowing that I would deal with it when it came time._

_Telling them about what Curt had said was the hardest. Looking back now I'm disappointed in myself that I would let a boy compromise my health like that but since I didn't know what real love was at the time I believed he loved me and would not do anything to hurt me. Thankfully Cindy found the papers so I will never know what would have happened if I didn't have the surgery._


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Meredith got up and quickly showered. She remembered that Michael had to work and Beth was going to spend the day with some of her friends. Then she thought of Derek, he was going to go to a movie with Mark, Izzie, and Alex. The night before Meredith had insisted that everyone keep their previous plans. She had told herself she could do this, she would just go to the hospital and have the surgery and come home.

Finally Meredith was ready to go so she made her way to her car. She noticed Michael's SUV still in the driveway and was confused because she thought he was supposed to be at work. When she got to her car she noticed Mark's car blocking her in. She cursed him for being there because now she would have to see the family and she didn't want to see them until later. She made her way into the kitchen and found Derek, Mark, Alex, Beth, Cindy, and Michael all sitting at the table. She closed the door and made her way to Mark. "Mark will you please go move your car?"

Mark looked at her and smiled. "Well good morning to you too. And no I am not going to move my car."

Just then they heard the doorbell and Beth jumped up. She walked over to Meredith and gave her a hug. "Take care Mer, I'll see you tonight."

Meredith nodded and after Beth was gone she turned back to the others. "Mark."

Derek stood as he saw the flash of anger come across Meredith. "Mer."

"Move your car. You always park on the street why did you park in the driveway today of all days?"

"Because dad told me to."

"What?"

Michael, Cindy, and Alex all stood. "Sorry Meredith but we really need to leave; we're running late as it is."

Derek chuckled at how his father tried to change the subject so he wouldn't have to explain their master plan. He placed his arm around Meredith's shoulder and started to the car with the others following. "He's right, you slept in today."

"Not really. I only got about 3 hours of sleep. I was tossing and turning and when I did sleep it was like power naps." Meredith stopped and looked to Michael. "You are supposed to be at work."

"I cleared my schedule, something more important came up."

"Oh well, I'll see you all later." Meredith said as she continued to her car and opened her door to get in.

Michael caught up to her and grabbed the door to stop her. "Where do you think you're going?"

Meredith looked at him with a questioning look but lowered her voice a little. "I'm going to the hospital for the appointment that you," She pointed to him, "made me set up. You know I can understand you forgetting and all, after all it did happen almost 24 hours ago." Meredith giggled at Michael's look on his face. "Don't worry, I'll call after I wake up and maybe you can sneak me in some food." Meredith finished with a smile and leaned up to give him a kiss on his cheek.

Michael smiled back at her. "Implying that I am losing my memory is not very nice especially this early in the morning however I am willing to forgive you for it this time. Now when it comes to sneaking in food I don't need to sneak. If you want something edible I will just walk right in because no one would dare question Dr. Shepherd."

"Now I know where Derek and Mark get it."

"Where Derek and Mark get what?" Derek asked appearing next to his father with Mark beside him.

"Your egos. It seems to run in the family." Meredith saw the shocked looks on Derek, Michael, and Mark's face and started to laugh.

Derek, Michael, and Mark all looked at each other and after hearing Meredith's laugh they joined in until they were interrupted. "Michael we need to go." Cindy called from behind.

They quickly calmed their laughs and Michael turned back to Meredith. "Come on Meredith. We are all going with you to the hospital."

"No I can go you have to work and Derek and Mark, you guys are going to a movie. I don't want you all waiting."

"We are not going to a movie while you are having surgery Mer." Mark said.

"And I am not going to work today either."

"But you need to save lives Dr. Shepherd."

"Meredith, I called the chief and he called in another neurosurgeon for the day. My family needs me today so I am going to be there for them during your surgery and I am going to be there for you when you wake up. And if you want me to get you some edible food as you called it, I will do that too. Now let's get going, I'm driving." Michael finished and stepped out of the way motioning his arm towards his vehicle.

Meredith crossed in front of Michael as Derek closed her car door and followed her with Mark and his father right behind.

They got to Michael's SUV. Mark and Alex sat in the back row while Meredith and Derek sat in the next row. Michael drove and Cindy sat in the passenger seat as they headed to the hospital.

During the drive, everyone was quiet and Meredith stared out the window while her hands were spinning in her lap.

Derek saw how nervous Meredith was and wished she didn't have to be going through this. He reached over and placed his hand on her hands just wanting to let her know he was there.

Mark and Alex were sitting behind Meredith and they could tell she was nervous because they were too. They shared a look and each reached their hands up and placed them on Meredith's shoulders hoping to comfort her at the same time that Derek grabbed her hands.

Meredith felt Derek grab her hands and squeeze. At the same time she felt Alex and Mark put their hands on her shoulders. She finally was starting to feel like she truly was part of a family and she wasn't sure how to react to that. She continued to stare out the window.

Michael had been catching glances of Meredith from the rear view mirror. He saw Alex and Mark put their hands on her shoulder and he knew Derek had reached for her hands. He looked again and saw a tear make its way down her cheek and he wished he could take the pain away but he knew all he could do for her now was be there for her and make sure she was getting the best treatment possible because he knew she would beat this. She has already been through so much and she didn't deserve this.

They got to the hospital and checked in. Cindy stayed with Meredith while she changed and made sure she was comfortable in her bed. "How are you dear?"

"I'm fine." Meredith said as she was looking out the window wishing everything was over.

"Meredith how are YOU really?"

Meredith turned her head and looked at Cindy. She had a tear that was making its way down her cheek. "I'm scared."

"Why? This is a routine surgery and the cancer was caught early. You are going to make it through this and we are all here for you."

"I…I just…things don't go that well for me. The other shoe always drops and I don't want all of you to be hurt because you care about me. And I kind of thought my mother would be here."

"I checked with your mother this morning while you were in the shower and she said she had a surgery but she wanted me to give her an update as soon as you are out of the surgery. And Meredith maybe this time the other shoe won't drop, maybe this time everything will work out the way it's supposed to. You have to start looking for the positives."

"I was foolish to think she would be here. But maybe you are right about the shoe."

"Dear, I'm always right. Now tell me what else is worrying you?"

"What if…what if Dr. Smith has to remove my entire breast?"

Cindy stepped closer to the bed. She knew that was a possibility but they hadn't talked about it. "Then we will deal with that. We can talk to a plastic surgeon and in the mean time we can check into getting you special bras, we'll talk to Dr. Smith and get all the information we would need. Whatever happens Meredith we will deal with it as long as you are here with us."

"Ok."

"Meredith is there something else?"

Meredith wanted to tell her about her worries about Curt and how he would react once he found out about the surgery and especially if the surgery didn't go as they thought it would. Really it wasn't just Curt it was anyone that she would ever be intiment with, what would they think? But as Meredith's thoughts were turning she decided that she had already told Cindy too much. She didn't want to be a burden to her especially since everyone had stopped their lives to spend the day in the hospital for her so she decided to tell her without telling her everything. "Please don't tell Derek, Mark, and Alex how bad it is. If they have to remove…just please don't tell them how bad. They know its cancer; I just don't want them to know how bad."

Cindy watched Meredith pull at the edge of her blanket and she wondered if there was more to what Meredith was saying but she decided not to push. Meredith had already opened up to her more than she ever had and she didn't want her to shut down. "Ok Meredith. Michael and I will keep any extra information to ourselves. But Meredith we are going to authorize whatever we need to get you through the surgery, even if it means Dr. Smith will need to remove your entire breast. Is that understood dear?"

Meredith nodded as a couple more tears ran down her cheek. She watched Cindy lean down and embraced her in a hug. Meredith squeezed tighter than she normally would.

The door opened and Derek, Mark, Alex, and Michael all came in. Meredith pulled back from Cindy and quickly wiped her face as she put a smile on her face. She looked up at the new occupants of the room as Michael spoke. "I see you are settled in." Meredith nodded as he continued. "Dr. Smith will be right in and then they will prep you for surgery."

As Michael finished the door opened and Dr. Smith came in. She checked Meredith to make sure she was ready and she asked if anyone had any questions. She received no's from everyone so she left the room as her intern started to prep Meredith for surgery. Soon a nurse came in and they were pushing Meredith out of the room. Everyone gave Meredith a hug and let her know they would all be waiting for her.

Meredith was taken into the OR and Dr. Smith soon entered. She went over the details of the surgery and then Meredith was put to sleep as the surgery started.

Cindy, Michael, Derek, Mark, and Alex had moved to the waiting room. Derek had started pacing while Mark and Alex were on their fifth magazine. Michael was sitting with Cindy holding her hand when he saw Dr. Smith's intern walking towards them. He quickly stood up and started towards him as Cindy followed. Derek saw his parents moving and made a point to follow. Mark and Alex jumped up and approached the group.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Smith wanted me to give you an update on Ms. Grey."

Before he could continue Cindy cut him off. She had glanced over her shoulder and saw the boys close by. "Michael can we step away?"

Michael looked at her with a confused look.

Cindy leaned in and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Meredith, if this is going where I think it is, Meredith didn't want the boys to know all the details."

Michael looked over his shoulder and nodded to Cindy. "Boys we'll be right back." Michael then turned back to the intern and ushered Cindy a little further down the hall. He then focused back on the intern. "Ok."

Derek was worried that his parents wouldn't let them know what was going on so he tried to shuffle a little closer. Mark and Alex followed so he quickly turned to them and whispered. "Stay here, I'm going to try and get a little closer so I can hear. Keep your voices down." Mark and Alex both went to say something and Derek raised his hand. "I will let you know if I hear anything."

"Dr. Shepherd the tumor has grown. Dr. Smith feels that it would be best if we remove some of the tissue around the tumor to make sure we have removed it all."

Cindy sucked in a breath before speaking. "Does she need to remove the entire breast?"

"Yes. Dr. Smith feels that by removing the breast and having Ms. Grey go thru the chemo therapy she has the best chances."

"What about after?" Cindy asked remembering her conversation with Meredith.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Shepherd?"

"Plastic surgery. Is it an option, when she is in remission can she have plastic surgery to reconstruct her breast?"

"We haven't talked about that however I can let Dr. Smith know that you are interested in that option and she can refer you. I know this is a lot to take in right now however Ms. Grey advised Dr. Smith that you both should be consulted and if there are any medical decisions that need to be made we were suppose to discuss them with you both before we go ahead. I need to let Dr. Smith know if she should continue."

Michael and Cindy looked at each other and Cindy spoke first. "She needs to be here."

Michael turned back to the intern after nodding in understanding to his wife. "Tell Dr. Smith to go ahead."

The intern nodded. "Dr. Smith will come speak with you once the surgery is finished." He then turned and walked quickly back down the hall.

Michael turned back to his wife and saw the tears in her eyes. Cindy looked up at him as she spoke. "Just tell me she's going to be ok Michael."

Michael put his hands on Cindy's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Honey you know as a doctor I can't say that but I will tell you as your husband who loves you and this family more than anything, we are all going to get through this together. And Meredith is part of our family now." Michael finished and pulled her into a hug.

"This could break her."

"We won't let it."

Cindy pulled away and looked back up to her husband. "She already has so many walls around her heart. Michael she wasn't going to have the surgery because of what Curt said to her. What if he really believes that and hurts her?"

"If he hurts her…I don't want you to be an accomplice." Michael said wanting to lighten the mood but he still had a serious look in his eyes letting Cindy know he would be sure to hurt him back.

Cindy smiled a small smile and then continued. "Michael as much as we don't want to admit it we are getting older and you can't harm every boy that could hurt her." Then she turned serious again as she turned her back to him. "This is something that is going to follow her. You heard what Beth told us about Jason and her talk. She won't admit it but she has so many dreams about her first time, what if she is ready and then she finds out that she made the wrong choice because the guy turns out to be some jerk. How can you, how can we protect her from that?"

Michael turned her back around to face him. "We can't. We can only be there for her. If and when she needs a shoulder to cry on or if she just needs a hug we will be there. But Cindy there are good boys in the world and Meredith will find one."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well besides the fact that I am never wrong…"

Cindy cut him off. "She was right about the ego."

"Besides that, we raised one and practically raised another. And the third one over there," Michael stopped as both their eyes went to Derek, Mark, and Alex. He then looked back to Cindy. "The third one is a good one as well. They are going to be good men and they know what is really important in a relationship."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is. I didn't like Curt to begin with so if this will get rid of him so she can move on and be with the person she is meant to be with then I am not going to lose any sleep." Michael said as she glanced at Derek who he noticed had moved back to be closer to Mark and Alex. When he heard his wife's voice he quickly looked back to her.

Cindy squinted at him. "Michael Shepherd, first of all, if I am up in the middle of the night because she is crying from a broken heart you will be up as well. Second, I can't believe you would want her to go through that pain. And third you are the one who hasn't wanted any of his daughters to date. How could you possibly say that you want her to move on?"

Michael held his hands up. "Hold on. First if she is crying over some jerk as you called him because I can think of some other words to call him. If she is crying she will not want me around however I will be there if she does. Second, I do not want her to go through any type of pain however you and I both know that finding your true love can be painful. And third my dear wife, as you pointed out she will be a Shepherd and to get to be a Shepherd she needs to get rid of the jerk." Michael finished with a smile and his arms crossed in front of him.

Cindy smiled back at him understanding what he had meant. "So you are admitting I am never wrong?"

Michael contemplated his answer at first. "I am admitting that about this one thing, I agree with you. I can see the way they look at each other and I have noticed how they are spending more time together. It's only a matter of time. Derek won't hurt her Cindy, we raised him."

Cindy gave Michael a hug. "So when did we change roles?"

"What?"

"I am usually the voice of reason trying to calm you down. Today you have been calming me down."

"Meredith. She has changed us all. We need to get back to the boys before they make a scene. I can tell they are bursting at the seems to know what's going on. What are we going to tell them?"

"Let's just tell them the tumor was a little bigger than before however Dr. Smith is going to cut it out and the surgery should be done soon."

"What about Derek's questions?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cindy if it was you on that table I would have a million questions."

Cindy sighed knowing he was right. "Just answer them with as little detail as possible Michael. That is what Meredith and I were talking about before you four came in the room this afternoon. She does not want them to know all the details and she defiantly does not want them to know that they had to remove her breast."

"Ok. Let's go." Michael led Cindy back to the chairs.

Derek made his way back to Mark and Alex.

"What did you hear?"

"Nothing." Derek Replied.

"Give it up Derek, I've known you most of your life and you have always been able to find things out that you weren't suppose to by easdropping so tell us what you found out before we tell your parents all your hiding spots."

Derek didn't say anything so Alex spoke up. "Derek just tell us what's wrong with Mer."

"The tumor has grown." Derek paused and looked back to see his parents hug and then they started back. He turned back to his friends as Izzie came up to them.

"Mark." Izzie said as she gave Mark a hug and kiss. She pulled back and turned to the others. "How's Mer?"

"The surgery is almost over. The tumor has grown and Dr. Smith is going to remove it." Michael said as him and Cindy came up.

The four friends turned around to them. "Dr. Shepherd is Mer going to be ok?" Alex asked.

"She will be. After she has her chemo treatments she should be fine."

"Are you sure? I mean as a doctor are you sure?"

"What is that suppose to mean Mark?"

"I don't mean any disrespect Dr. Shepherd it's just that it's Mer. So when you say she should be fine are you saying that as a doctor or are you saying that because we are all family and you want to make us feel better?"

Michael looked at Mark a little surprised. He has known Mark since Derek started preschool and he has never known him to be serious about anything. He saw the look on his face and then he looked to the others that were staring at him. They all cared for Meredith and he knew he needed to be honest. "Both Mark. Cancer is very scary and there is no way to know what is going to happen in 10 years however Dr. Smith stated that it was caught very early and she is very confident that with the surgery and chemo that Meredith will be fine. Right now we need to be strong for each other and for Meredith."

"Will she be able to go back to school with us in the fall?"

"She wants to but we have to wait and see how everything goes first."

"Dr. Shepherd I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea for me to come stay with Mer. I mean if she gets sick or whatever it would be better if someone was staying with her right?"

"I can stay with her too Dr. Shepherd." Alex replied.

"And me I already spend most of my nights at your house anyways." Mark replied after Izzie and Alex.

Michael held up his hand. "I appreciate your offer kids but it won't be necessary."

"Michael?"

"Cindy she's right across from us, if she needs someone and you and I don't hear her Derek or Beth will be right there."

"Let's all have a seat. The surgery should be done soon and Dr. Smith will come let us know." Michael said as he motioned to the chairs and pointed Cindy to them.

Derek watched his father help his mother to a chair and then sit next to her still holding her hand. He approached and addressed his father. "Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure Derek what is it?"

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Derek saw his father nod and then started away from the chairs.

Michael looked to his wife. "Here come those questions." He then gave her a kiss on the cheek and followed Derek.

Once they were out of earshot Derek turned to his father. "Dad how is she really?"

"Derek I already told you and your friends."

Derek started pacing in front of his father. "I know what you told us now I want to know what that doctor told you when he came out and you and mom walked away."

"That was not your business Derek that is why your mother and I walked away."

Derek stopped his pacing and looked his father in the eyes. "Dad, I lo…" Derek stopped himself and saw his father raise his eyebrows. "I care about her a lot and I want to know that she is going to be ok."

"Derek I know you care about her, we all do. Right now we have to wait"

Derek started pacing again trying to figure out how to tell his father that he knew what the doctor had said without getting himself into trouble. Finally he stopped and decided Mer was more important than him getting into trouble so he looked back at his father. "I know what the doctor said. I know…I know that they…Dr. Smith is going to take her breast."

Michael saw the concern on Derek's face even as he continued to pace. He reached out his hand and grabbed Derek's arm as he passed him again. "I'm getting dizzy with all your pacing so sit." Michael pointed to a couple chairs in the hall and they sat. Michael looked back to Derek. "I didn't know your talent for easdropping extended to outside of the house."

Derek's head shot up to his father. "You know?"

Michael let out a laugh. "Your mother and I are not stupid Derek. We have our ways of ensuring a private conversation. We're just glad your sisters didn't have the same talent."

Derek smiled. "Beth does. She showed me a couple new spots so I should warn you."

"I guess I should say thank-you for the warning then."

"Dad about Meredith."

"She doesn't want you and your friends to know about that. We knew this could happen and so did Meredith. Dr. Smith is a very good doctor Derek and I trust her. Meredith is in good hands and I know that if there was any other way Dr. Smith wouldn't have taken Meredith's breast. Right now we have to help her recover from the surgery and then help her through the chemo. Izzie is right about what could happen."

"I know I did some research of my own."

"What?"

"We all have. We didn't just say we wanted to be surgeon's dad; we really do so we spend time researching different surgeries and illnesses. Mer does too. About 2 months ago she was looking up breast cancer. We didn't think anything about it but I saw a look in her eyes. I told myself she had a relative with breast cancer or she knew someone and that was why she wanted to know so much. I should have known there was more to it. She asked Mark, Alex, and I how we would feel if our girlfriends lost a breast. We shrugged it off but she was adamant that we answer."

"What did you say?"

"We told her the truth. It wouldn't matter as long as the girl was ok. We said that losing a breast or both would be worth it if it meant saving their life. Besides breasts are just a part of their body, yeah they are nice but we can live without them and they don't make the girl."

Michael smiled. "You really said all that?"

"You look surprised."

"Not everyone feels the way you and your friends do."

"He didn't."

"I'm afraid he did. That's why she wasn't going to do anything."

Derek shot up. "I am going to kill that bastard."

"Derek calm down."

"Calm down. She was going to do nothing because of that bastard. She could die." Derek said as he started walking away from his father.

Michael tried to grab Derek's arm to stop him but he was already out of reach. He looked past Derek and saw Cindy, Mark, Alex, and Izzie all watching. "Derek where are you going?"

"I am going to have a talk with him"

Cindy came up behind Derek. "What is going on here?"

"I have to leave for a little bit mom, I'll be back."

"Derek here wants to go talk to Curt."

Cindy realized what that meant. "You can't leave Derek."

"Someone needs to talk to him."

"That may be true but honey you can't leave now. Meredith needs us here."

"It's because of him she didn't have the surgery right away. If you hadn't have found those papers she still wouldn't have had the surgery. What if she…what if it's too late?"

"It's not too late Derek. It's still early. Let's go sit." Cindy led him back to the chairs he and Michael had just left. They all sat. "Derek Meredith is going to be ok. We all have to believe that."

"He knows Cindy. His eavesdropping talents go outside the house as well."

"Dad I wasn't eavesdropping. You and mom were talking to the doctor and I was just standing close by."

"We walked away from you kids for a reason Derek. You weren't supposed to know about this."

"Mom it has to do with Meredith. Anything that has to do with her is something I should know." Derek stopped and took a breath before continuing. "It's because of him that the tumor grew. He should have supported her then she would have had the surgery right away and maybe then she wouldn't have lost…"

"Honey we can't know that for sure. Yes the tumor grew but there is a chance that Meredith would have lost her breast even if she had the surgery right away. This isn't Curt's fault. Meredith didn't tell him about the cancer, he didn't know she was talking about herself. I would like to think that if he had he would have encouraged her to have the surgery but we have no way of knowing."

Derek thought about what his mother was saying. He realized he was mad at Curt for what he had said to Meredith that had made her mind up about the surgery but he was also mad that she had the cancer. More than that he was scarred. He knew Meredith was strong but what if this was something she couldn't fight. The thought of losing her scarred him more than he wanted to admit. He pushed his feelings aside going back to Meredith knowing he had to be strong for her. "Mom is she going to be ok?"

"We have to wait and see Derek but I believe your father and Dr. Smith."

"No mom I don't mean that. After this surgery, after she beats the cancer. Is SHE going to be ok with loosing…" Derek once again couldn't finish his sentence.

Cindy looked from her son to her husband and back to Derek. She saw the concern on his face. "Derek if you can't say it you will not be able to help Meredith. I can only imagine what Meredith is going to feel and think when she finds out the outcome of the surgery. What I do know is that I am going to be there for her. If she needs to talk, yell, cry, or just have someone hold her hand I will be there for her."

"That's what I want too I will be there whatever she needs I will be there for her. I'm just worried about her. I don't what her to be hurt anymore. She doesn't deserve this."

"Nobody does Derek." Cindy said pulling her son into a hug.

Derek pulled back from his mother and looked back to his father. "Thank-you dad."

"For what?"

"For what you said to Meredith last night and for helping her."

Michael pulled Derek in for a hug. "There's no need to thank me Derek. That spitfire has worked her way into our hearts and our family. Whatever she needs, your mother and I will see that she gets it."

Derek pulled back from his father. "Spitfire?"

Michael smiled as they all stood and started back towards the others. "Well she told me I have an ego, I couldn't think of anything else at the time."

Cindy chuckled. "I have to agree with your father on this one."

Derek also laughed as they rejoined his friends. "I wonder what Mer would have to say about that?"

"What Mer would say about what?"

"Nothing Mark."

"What?"

"Dad's right, it's nothing."

"Oh come on Derek. You know you cannot keep a secret."

"Dad just called Mer…"

Michael cut him off. "Derek if you finish that sentence you will be sleeping in your car for the next two years."

Derek and Cindy laughed at him. "What's the matter Michael, are you afraid of Meredith finding out?"

"No."

"I think you are dad."

"Dad is afraid of Meredith. What did you say?"

"Nothing Mark."

"Come on it can't be that bad."

Cindy decided it would be good to let the others know what Michael had said knowing Meredith would probably be amused by it and she liked watching her husband squirm in front of Derek and Meredith's friends. "He called her a spitfire."

"Cindy."

"Oh be quiet Michael. Meredith…" Cindy stopped as she looked back down the hall. "Michael."

The others all turned to see what Cindy was looking at. Dr. Smith was making her way down the hall towards them. She stopped in front of the Shepherds.

"Dr. Smith, how is Meredith?"

"She is in recovery and will be moved to her room shortly Dr. Shepherd. I'm sorry the surgery took longer than I thought. I don't expect her to wake up for a few hours and I'm sorry that visiting hours are almost over."

"We want to be there when she wakes up." Alex said.

"I don't think it would be good for you all to be there, it might be a little overwhelming. I think it would be better if you come back tomorrow morning. She will be refreshed and ready for visitors then. I am going to need to talk to her tonight and let her know how the surgery went anyways so it would be better for her if you came back."

Michael saw Mark, Alex, and Izzie all wanting to say something. "Dr. Smith is right. I know you all want to be there for her but it may be overwhelming. Izzie can you take Mark and Alex home?"

Izzie knew she couldn't object so she gave in. "Of course Dr. Shepherd."

"Thank-you. You all can come back in the morning."

Mark, Alex, and Izzie all said their goodbyes and were happy to know that Meredith made it through the surgery ok.

Once they were in the elevator Derek turned back to the doctor. "Can we go see her now?"

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"This is my son Derek. He will be staying with my wife and I."

"Okay. I'll walk you to her room and tell you about the surgery. When she wakes up I'll have the nurse page me so I can come and talk with her."

The Shepherds all nodded and followed Dr. Smith down the hallway.

Derek sat on one side of Meredith's bed holding her hand while his mother sat on the other also holding her hand. Michael was next to Cindy. Dr. Smith had told them about the surgery and when Derek went in to sit with Meredith Dr. Smith explained how she wanted to proceed with the chemo. Once she was done Cindy asked to be the one to tell Meredith thinking it would be better coming from her. Dr. Smith agreed and said she would be back before she left for the night to check on her.

Dr. Smith was right and hours had passed. The sun was setting when Derek saw Meredith starting to stir. "She's waking up." Derek said standing up getting closer to Meredith.

Michael stood from his spot next to Cindy and watched both Meredith and the couple monitors that were monitoring her.

"Mer?"

Meredith's eyes fluttered before finally opening. When they did open she was looking right into Derek's. She gave him a soft smile. "Hey." She croaked out since her throat was sore.

Derek smiled back at her. "Hey."

"Derek get her some water." Cindy said.

Meredith turned her head and saw both Cindy and Michael beside her. "You're both here." She looked down to the end of the bed and frowned when she didn't see anyone else. "Where is everyone?"

"They got tired of waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up so they left." Derek said holding a cup of water.

"Derek. Meredith Dr. Smith said you would be out for a few hours and that visiting hours would be over so they will be back in the morning. How are you feeling?" Michael asked after giving Derek a look.

Meredith gave Derek a look and he helped her take a drink of the water he had poured for her. Once she was done she spoke again. "I feel like I just got out of surgery I guess. When can I go home and if visiting hours are over why are you all still here?"

"We are here because we are family." Michael smiled at Meredith.

"You mean you pulled a couple strings so you could stay?" Meredith saw the look on Michael's face. "I have spent a lot of time at Grace and I know how strict the nurses are about visiting hours. What did you have to trade to get them to allow you to stay?"

Cindy and Derek both had smiles on their faces as they looked to Michael. "That's a very good question Michael."

Michael stammered a little before recovering. "I am Dr. Michael Shepherd; I did not need to trade anything. Besides I don't even work in this hospital so I couldn't trade anything anyways."

When he finished the door opened and in walked Dr. Smith. "Good evening. Meredith, I'm glad you're awake, how do you feel?"

"Like I just had surgery. When can I go home?"

"Well if you don't get a fever or anything I suppose you can leave day after tomorrow."

Meredith smiled and then looked closer at Dr. Smith. She knew something was wrong so she decided to get right to the point. "Dr. Smith just tell me."

Dr. Smith smiled and looked to Dr. and Mrs. Shepherd.

Michael gave a small smile. "Ripe off the band aide."

Meredith nodded. "No anastasia."

Cindy stood and addressed Michael and Derek. "Michael, Derek would you mind giving us a few minutes?"

Michael nodded to his wife and then to Derek. Derek gave Meredith's hand a squeeze and followed his father out of the room.

Once the door closed Meredith spoke up again. "Just tell me, get it over with."

Cindy looked from Dr. Smith to Meredith as she took a seat on the bed next to Meredith and grabbed her hand.

Dr. Smith stepped to the other side of the bed and looked at Meredith. "I removed the tumor."

"OK."

"It had grown since your last appointment."

"But you took it all out?"

"Yes I removed the entire tumor."

"OK, so when do I start the chemo? I want to have this all done by the time I start school this fall."

"Meredith."

"That's 3 months. Dr. Smith I have to be done in 3 months, everything has to be good so I can go back to school. I can't miss my junior year."

"Meredith." Dr. Smith tried again.

"I have so much to do. I have to start narrowing down my college choices so I can get applications sent and…"

Cindy cut her off. "Meredith, Dr. Smith removed the tumor however because of the size she had to remove your left breast."

"I was thinking Dartmouth but Harvard is a possibility. Mom always said I wouldn't ever get in so I thought I would try and maybe prove her wrong. That's why I have to…"

Cindy grabbed both of Meredith's hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "You Meredith will have your choice of colleges however right now we need to talk about your health." Cindy paused as she saw the tears come to Meredith's eyes. "Dr. Smith removed the tumor however she had to remove your left breast as well."

Meredith looked down to her chest and saw her left side was flat compared to the right. She looked back up to Cindy and then to Dr. Smith. "Thank-you Dr. Smith. I know you did what you needed to. I'm feeling a little tired now, can we talk about the chemo maybe tomorrow?"

Dr. Smith looked to Cindy who nodded and then back to Meredith. "That's fine. I'll be back to check on you in the morning and we can talk. Get some rest Meredith." Cindy patted her on the arm and started to the door.

"Thank-you Dr. Smith." Meredith called out and soon the door closed. She looked back to Cindy. "You should go. Beth is probably wondering where everyone is."

"Meredith I'm not going anywhere yet. I'm here, you can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about and I'm tired."

"Meredith honey you can't just ignore this, and you can't push me away." Cindy said firmly as she watched Meredith try to hold the tears in.

Meredith saw the concern in Cindy's eyes and soon it was too much. She let her tears fall. Cindy leaned down and held her gently.

"Its ok honey just let it out."

"…what if…what if I survive this only to be alone?"

Cindy pulled back and looked at her. "Meredith you are not alone any longer."

"But Curt, he said…he won't…"

"I know you care about him honey but I really don't think he deserves you. You deserve someone better than him."

Meredith looked back up to Cindy. She still had tears coming from her eyes. "I just…I'm…I'm scared." She sobbed harder.

Cindy again leaned down and hugged Meredith as her heart broke for her. "Oh Meredith, I'm scarred too. We all are." Cindy had tears coming from her eyes as she held her. "I know you are scarred but Meredith we have to listen to Dr. Smith. She did what she needed to give you the best chance in beating this so that you can stay with us for a long time. We are not going to let you give up or push us away now." Cindy finished rather firmly.

Meredith nodded and started talking without thinking. "Thank-you mom, thank-you for…"

As soon as Cindy heard Meredith say the word she pulled back and looked to Meredith.

Meredith stopped once she realized what she said. When she felt Cindy release her hold her heart fell. "I'm sorry Cindy." She said looking down.

Cindy placed a finger under Meredith's chin gently forcing her to look into her eyes. "Meredith you have nothing to be sorry for. You are part of our family now. Do you remember when you gave me my birthday present?" Cindy watched Meredith nod. "Your present was the best present I received Meredith. The necklace was beautiful and I cherish it but more importantly that was when you told me you thought of me as your mother. I can't change your past and I know I'm not your real mother but I'd be honored if you wanted to call me mom. I would actually prefer that to Cindy anyway." Cindy finished with a smirk.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you. You and Michael have been wonderful to me. I feel like I've invaded your family and I am so sorry for that but I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for you both and the rest of the Shepherd clan."

"You didn't invade; actually Derek brought you home if I remember correctly. Look the only difference between Derek and Mark is the name and technically the blood. What I'm trying to say is that I love Mark just as much as I love Derek and Alex is also an honorary son." Cindy smiled as she wiped Meredith's tears. "Beside Meredith I started thinking of you as a daughter a long time ago."

"You did?"

"Yes." Cindy replied as she watched Meredith try to hide a yawn and saw her eyes getting heavy. "I saw that. I think it's time for you to get some rest and we can talk more in the morning."

"I'm ok, I can talk now." Meredith said with a small smile.

"No Meredith, you need your rest. We will be back in the morning and we'll even bring breakfast. How does that sound?"

"Good." Meredith said as she yawned again. "Thank-you, Cin…mom for everything, thank-you."

"You're welcome." Cindy said after she reached down and gave Meredith a kiss on the forehead. She then made sure she was tucked in and she watched Meredith close her eyes. She started towards the door and turned back around as she reached the door. "Goodnight Meredith."

"Goodnight mom." Meredith called from her bed as she heard the door open and close.

When Cindy stepped out the door she saw Michael and Derek waiting for her. They both saw the tears that she had cried since they were watching through the window. Michael immediately pulled her into a hug not even saying anything. Cindy sighed and Michael knew she was crying again by the shake of her shoulders so he just held her.

Cindy let Michael comfort her until her tears stopped. She pulled back and wiped away her remaining tears as she looked up into Michael's eyes. She didn't know what to say and she didn't have to as Michael spoke first.

"Is she ok?"

"She will be." Cindy answered looking between Michael and Derek. She rested her eyes on Michael's chest.

Michael reached up and tilted her face so she was looking into his eyes. "Are you ok?"

Cindy looked into her husband's eyes and after a second she smiled. "She called me mom."

Michael smiled back and pulled her into another hug.

Derek had listened to his mother and he smiled knowing how much his parents cared for Meredith. "Mom can I go in and see her?"

Cindy pulled back from Michael. "I'm sorry Derek she's sleeping. I told her we would be back in the morning and that we would bring breakfast."

"I'm not going to leave her here alone."

Cindy looked to Michael for help. Michael knew if he were in Derek's shoes he would want to stay as well so he decided to compromise because he also didn't want Meredith to be alone. "OK Derek. Let's go get some dinner and then we'll go home and you can get a change of clothes and your car so you can come back and sit with her."

Derek didn't say anything so Cindy spoke up. "That's it Derek take it or leave it. If you don't come with us now so we know you ate something then your father will drag you out of here and you won't be able to come back until morning. Plus you need to call Mark, Alex, and Izzie to let them know how she is."

Derek looked back to Meredith and then back to his parents. "Ok." Is all he said.

Cindy gave Derek a hug before they all started down the hall. They ran into Dr. Smith and Michael explained that Derek would be back so Dr. Smith said she would let the nurses know. When they left they went out to eat and then went home. Derek called Mark who said he would tell Izzie since they were together and then he called Alex. They all made plans to be at the hospital in the morning to have breakfast with Meredith. Once he was done he took a shower and changed his clothes. Then he headed downstairs. "Mom, dad I'm going back now." Derek said walking into the living room where his parents were.

"Call us if you need anything and drive safe Derek."

"I will mom. Goodnight mom, goodnight dad." Derek said as he gave his mother a hug and kiss before walking out the door.

Once she heard the car pull away she looked to her husband. "I wonder how much longer it will take them to realize they love each other."

Michael smiled. "I have a feeling it will be soon."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because stuff like this helps us to see what we have right in front of us and realize we don't want to lose it."

"I hope so. Curt is going to hurt her."

"I know. We just have to be here for her when he does."

Cindy was about to respond when she heard a car pull up. "We have to tell Beth."

"Let's just tell her what the others know."

"That's fine and then we need to get to bed so we can go see Meredith in the morning. I'm sure Beth will want to come."

Michael nodded as Beth entered the house. They all talked for about 2 hours by the time they answered all of Beth's questions. Beth had jumped at the idea to go to the hospital and see Meredith so they headed to bed.

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"Good morning."

"Good morning."

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long."

"I stayed because I didn't want you to be alone."

"That was sweet of you, thank-you."

"You're welcome. How are you feeling?"

"A little sore but good. Can you help me sit up a little?"

Derek helped Meredith sit up and then took a seat on the bed. "So I figured out what I want for my birthday."

"Oh really, what is it?"

"A motorcycle."

"What?"

"A motorcycle and I already talked to dad."

"What about your mom?"

"She didn't like the idea but I promised I would be safe. Besides she couldn't say no."

"So you gave her the face."

"There is no face Mer, dad and I just talked to her about it and told her how responsible I am."

Meredith laughed. "Responsible, please Derek. I know you. You got your dad to talk to your mom with you so that you both could give her the face and it worked, she caved."

"I am responsible and I don't know what you are talking about."

"Okay Derek whatever you say. So when is breakfast coming?"

"Now you what breakfast."

"I'm hungry so I want breakfast."

Derek looked at his watch. "Well it's almost 9 so I expect them any minute. I can't believe we slept so late."

"It was a long night." Meredith smiled again.

"What?"

"She so caved."

"She did not cave."

"You and your dad gave her the face and she caved."

"There is no face and she did not cave."

"The Shepherd face times two to your mother equals caving." Meredith said again giggling.

Derek was watching Meredith giggle. He loved hearing her giggle and seeing her smile. Just watching her made him smile. "No face, no caving"

Meredith stopped giggling for a second. "I'm immune Derek."

"What?"

"You're giving me the face; I'm immune so you can stop."

"Meredith there is no face."

Meredith started giggling again. "There is so a face and I am immune, I will not cave like your mother."

"For the last time there is no face and my mother did not cave."

"What's this about a cave?" Michael asked as he entered the room behind Cindy and Beth.

Mark and Alex came in after Michael. Meredith and Derek didn't even hear them enter.

Meredith tried to suppress her giggles. "N…nothing Mr. Shepherd, Derek was just telling me about his birthday present."

"The motorcycle. I don't even know how I agreed to that." Cindy said.

Meredith couldn't hold the laughter any longer and let it out as all eyes turned to her.

Mark stepped forward. "Is there laughing gas in that morphine?"

Eventually Meredith calmed down and they all eat breakfast.

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_Truth be told when I found out the Shepherds, Mark, and Alex were going to be waiting for me I was happy and scared. Happy that there were going to be people waiting for me and scared because I knew that they cared for me and I didn't want to let them down. Letting people down seemed to be a normal thing for me. The surgery was a lot scarier than I thought it would be and I was glad that Cindy was there when I woke up and that she was the one to tell me the outcome. A part of me knew that it wouldn't be as easy as it seemed, after all nothing is ever easy for me. I was just grateful that the Shepherds didn't get scared away._

_I couldn't believe that Derek was there when I woke up the next morning. He was becoming more than a friend and part of me was scared about that. I still had Curt but he was nowhere to be found and that means something right? Derek was there and he wasn't judging me. I could tell by the look in his eye. _

_The Shepherds, Mark, and Alex showing up for breakfast the next morning was amazing. I know they said they would but to actually have them show up for me was amazing. _

_Author's Note: Thank-you to those of you who have reviewed...I can't tell you how much that means and I hope you enjoyed this chapter._


	6. Chapter 6

"Thank-you so much for doing this Curt." Meredith said getting in the car.

"Why couldn't one of the Shepherds take you?"

"Well mom and Beth are shopping, Derek is with Mark doing guy things, Michael is at work, and Alex is out of town for the week."

"How long do I have to wait?"

Meredith cringed at his tone. He was being so cold and she got an uneasy feeling in her stomach. "I'm not sure, this is my first time, I think an hour maybe."

Curt pulled up to the hospital. Meredith looked at him with her hand on the door. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I don't do hospitals Mer; I'll be back in an hour."

Meredith got out and walked through the doors and found Dr. Smith. "I'm ready."

Dr. Smith led her into a room. "Is Dr. Shepherd here with you?"

"No he is at work, my boyfriend dropped me off and he'll be here to pick me up in an hour."

"I thought you would have someone with you."

"I just want to get this over with."

Dr. Smith didn't reply as she started the Chemo. She went to leave the room after the treatment was started when she looked back to Meredith. "Call a nurse if you need anything."

Time passed slowly. Meredith tried to sleep but couldn't find a comfortable position. Soon a nurse came in. "You're all done." She said as she unhooked the treatment and helped Meredith into a wheelchair.

"I can't believe how tired I feel right now. Will I get sick right away?"

"Ms. Grey everyone is different just be sure to drink a lot of water when you get home." The nurse replied as she pushed Meredith out of the room and they made their way to the front of the hospital.

Once they got outside Meredith saw Curt's car and pointed it out to the nurse who pushed her close. The nurse then helped Meredith into the car and Curt drove away.

Curt drove up the Shepherd's driveway and parked the car. He turned to Meredith who had her eyes closed. "Mer, you're home."

Meredith slowly opened her eyes and saw they were in the driveway. "I don't…I'm tired."

"You have to get out now Mer."

"Can you help me?"

Curt rolled his eyes and got out of the car. He went around and opened the door. He then helped her out and walked her to the door without saying anything.

"I'm sorry I don't feel so well today. Maybe dinner tomorrow?"

"Mer…Meredith no. This thing between us is done…its over."

"What…why?" Meredith whispered.

"I am leaving in 2 months to go to college and I don't want to do the long distance thing."

Meredith closed her eyes briefly and then looked back up to him. "So this is goodbye?"

Curt nodded. "Goodbye Meredith, take care of yourself."

Meredith watched him walk away. He got in his car and left without even a hug or kiss goodbye. She sighed before pulling herself from the door she was leaning on and entered the house. Slowly she made her way up the stairs.

"Mer your home."

Meredith jumped slightly not expecting anyone to be home. She pulled herself away from the wall and looked at Beth. "Hi Beth. Is mom home?"

"No dad lost a patient so he came home early. Mom wanted to take his mind off of it so she took him grocery shopping."

Meredith giggled. "He's worse than Derek when he goes grocery shopping."

"I know. I thought you were going out with Curt today."

"We did but I'm not feel…I'm a little tired so he brought me home."

Beth looked closer at Meredith. "Are you okay, you look a little pale?"

"I'm fine Beth I just need some sleep."

"Okay, I'll let you know when mom and dad get home."

Meredith nodded as Beth passed her and headed downstairs. She went into her room and closed the door. Slowly she made her way to the bed and fell onto it. Almost immediately she was asleep.

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"Cindy are we almost done?"

"Hush Michael. I know you dislike grocery shopping but you were home with nothing to do."

"That's because my patient died."

"I know and I'm sorry honey but you can't just sit around. Besides we are almost done and then you can help me make dinner."

Michael looked in Cindy's eyes and saw the love she had for him. It never stopped amazing him how well she knew him even after all these years of being together she still knew what he needed. "What's for dinner?"

"I was planning on spaghetti. Now go get the ice cream and don't forget to get some strawberry for Meredith, I'll meet you up at the registers."

Michael nodded as he headed to the freezers and Cindy pushed the cart to the front of the store.

After checking out the two made their way to the car where Michael started loading the groceries. Once he was done they started for home. Just after pulling out of the parking lot Michael's phone rang. He quickly picked it up. "Dr. Shepherd."

"Dr. Shepherd, I'm sorry to bother you at home. This is Dr. Smith; your intern gave me your number."

"Dr. Smith, please call me Michael."

"Thank-you Michael and please call me Shelly."

"Okay Shelly, did you need a consult?"

"Oh no, I just wanted to check on Meredith."

"Meredith?" Michael said as he looked over to Cindy who was now more interested in his conversation. "Why would you be checking on Meredith?"

"Well her first treatment seemed to hit her pretty hard and I was a little worried that no one was with her."

"What do you mean? We haven't set anything up yet."

"She said her boyfriend was with her but my nurse told me that he didn't even come in and sit with her and when she took Meredith out to the car he wouldn't even help her so I wanted to make sure she was alright. I thought it was a little strange that neither you nor your wife was with her but I also know how independent Meredith is so I didn't question her on it."

"Thank-you for calling me Shelly. Cindy and I are on our way home now so we will look after her."

"Again I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to check on her."

"There's no need to apologize. I appreciate that you called. When is her next appointment?"

"Three weeks."

"Good. Cindy or I will be there with her and if she tries to show up without either of us I want you to page me."

"I will. She's lucky to have you and your wife."

"No, we are the lucky ones. Thank-you again Shelly."

"You're welcome. Goodnight Michael."

Michael hung up the phone and looked to his wife.

"What is it Michael?"

"She, she had her first treatment today."

"What?" Cindy practically yelled.

"That was Shelly, Dr. Smith; she wanted to check on Meredith because she had her first treatment. She said it hit her pretty hard."

"That girl…we need to get home and make sure she is okay."

"We are almost there. Go ahead and call Derek and let him know we are almost home so he can be there to help take in the groceries and I'm going to call Beth to check on Mer."

Cindy pulled out her phone and quickly dialed.

"Hello mom."

"Hello honey. Where are you?"

"I'm on my way home."

"Is Mark with you?"

"Yes, is that okay?"

"Of course it is. Dad and I are on our way home now with groceries so can you meet us there and help carry them in?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Just meet us at home okay Derek?"

"Okay mom we are about 5 minutes away and we'll wait for you. Love you."

"Love you too Derek, thank-you." Cindy finished before hanging up.

As soon as Cindy started dialing her phone Michael had already called Beth.

"Hey daddy."

"Beth honey is Mer home?"

"Yes she got home about an hour ago. She went up to bed and asked me to wake her for dinner."

"Did she look okay?"

"She looked a little pale. She said she was tired."

"Okay, mom and I will be home in a couple minutes and Derek should be there soon."

"Is everything okay?"

"It will be. We'll be home soon."

"Okay, bye daddy, I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart, bye." Michael finished and looked back briefly to Cindy. "Beth said she looked pale and that she's in her room sleeping."

"Derek and Mark are on their way home. He said they would wait for us to help."

Michael nodded. The rest of the drive was silent each thinking about Meredith.

Derek pulled into the driveway sooner than he thought. He quickly turned off the car and both him and Mark got out and headed to the house. They each stepped into the kitchen and saw Beth sitting at the table.

As soon as Beth saw the two she smiled as she watched them grab glasses and get something to drink. "Hey guys."

"Hey Beth, mom and dad are on their way home. Is Mer home yet?"

"Yeah she came home an hour ago. She's up in her room taking a nap."

The three sat at the table and talked for a few minutes until they heard the car pull into the driveway. They all got up and headed to the door. As they started to walk out they heard a crash from upstairs.

"Derek?"

"I'm sure everything is fine Beth. Go help mom and dad." Derek finished and turned right away heading out of the kitchen.

Derek quickly made his way upstairs and went to Meredith's room knowing she was the only one up there. Pushing the door open to her room he didn't see her but he immediately saw the source of the crash they had heard. He stepped further into the room and waited a minute before he saw Meredith slowly make her way out of her bathroom. At first he just watched her and noticed how she was moving slowly and she looked pale.

Meredith made her way out of the bathroom and headed towards the desk. She slowly kneeled down and started to pick up the pieces of the lamp that had broken.

Derek made his way to her and bent down to help her. "Mer, what happened?"

Meredith met his eyes and quickly looked back to the lamp. "I bumped the desk on the way to the bathroom."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just wasn't paying attention."

Not believing her he grabbed her hands to stop her movements and he noticed a cut. "Mer, your hurt."

"I'm fine Derek I just need to clean this up."

"How did you hurt yourself?" Derek asked as he watched her and he knew she was trying to figure out an excuse. "Don't lie Mer."

Meredith sighed before answering. "I fell. I got out of bed and knocked the lamp over and then fell and…it's just a cut Derek, I'm fine."

Derek didn't let go of her hands instead he started to help her up. "Come on Mer. I'll help you back to bed and then I'll clean up the lamp and make sure your cut is okay."

"I can clean it up Derek, I made the mess."

"I can tell you are not fine and I will not have you cleaning up something I am capable of. Now stop trying to argue."

"Okay." Meredith replied as she let Derek lead her back to the bed. She felt herself leaning on him more for support but she couldn't help herself.

Derek pulled the covers back and helped her into bed before quickly going back to clean up the lamp. When he was done he went back to the bed and saw Meredith was struggling with herself. "Mer, what do you need?"

"I…I think I'm going to be sick."

Derek quickly got the trash can and set it down on the floor next to the bed. He watched her struggle to get up and he quickly made his way around the bed and climbed in beside her.

Once he was next to her he helped her move to the edge of the bed and held her and her hair as she emptied her stomach into the trashcan. Derek felt her shudder as he held her and turned his head to the door as he heard it open.

After Beth told them about the noise from upstairs, Michael and Cindy instructed Mark and Beth to take care of the groceries while Cindy and himself went up to check on Meredith. Michael pushed the door to Meredith's room open as he and Cindy entered.

Cindy immediately went to the bathroom and brought out a wet washcloth before going to Meredith. She knelt down by the trash can and gently wiped Meredith's forehead. She looked up to Derek. "How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know. When I came up to check on her after I heard the crash she was coming out of the bathroom and then she went to clean up the lamp. I told her I would do it and helped her back to bed. Shortly after I was done she said she didn't feel good and I brought the trash can over before she started empting her stomach." Derek finished and then looked to his father who was standing at the end of the bed. "What's wrong with her?"

Before Michael could answer Meredith looked up to Cindy. "Thank-you." She then leaned back into Derek as he helped her lay back down however he kept her in his arms. "I'm okay now." She said to Derek as her eyes closed.

Michael came out of the bathroom with a glass of water as Cindy took the trashcan away. "Meredith, you need to drink this."

Meredith didn't reply instead she kept her eyes closed and snuggled into Derek's embrace.

"Dad?"

Michael sighed as he knelt down and brushed some hair out of Meredith's face. "She had her first round of Chemo today."

"What?"

"Dr. Smith called me and let me know that she had her first treatment and she didn't take it very well."

Cindy came back into the room and put the clean trash can back by the side of the bed before taking a seat next to Michael.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Derek asked his parents before turning his attention back to Meredith. "Why didn't you tell us Mer? We could have gone with you. I would have gone with you."

Meredith kept her eyes closed as she answered. "I didn't want anyone to change their plans."

"I didn't have any plans today."

"You were with Mark and mom was with Beth and dad had to work."

Derek and Cindy quickly looked to Michael as soon as the word slipped out of Meredith's mouth knowing she had never called him that.

Michael quickly blinked away tears. "Meredith we told you that we wanted to help you through this. You have to let us do that sweetheart."

"I just want to sleep."

"We'll talk about this later but you need to drink some water so you don't get dehydrated."

"No…just sleep."

Michael looked to Derek. "Derek."

Derek saw the look in his father's eyes and he turned his attention to Meredith. "Mer, please take some water. I'll help you and then you can sleep. Please do this for me."

Meredith didn't say anything at first and then she slowly opened her eyes and saw Derek, Michael, and Cindy looking at her. "Okay."

Michael handed the glass to Derek as he helped Meredith sit up a little and Derek held the glass for her. She drank a little before giving up. Michael helped her lay back down and then took the glass back from Derek and stood to leave the room. He turned back to Derek and stopped. "Derek I need to talk to you."

"No please stay…until I fall asleep." Meredith whispered.

Derek looked to his father silently questioning if it was okay.

Michael nodded. "Come down when she's asleep."

Derek nodded and Michael and Cindy left the room. He looked back down to Meredith and gently kissed her on the forehead. "I'm right here Mer. I won't go anywhere." Derek whispered as he watched Meredith finally fall back to sleep.

Derek stayed a few more minutes to make sure she was asleep before heading down to the kitchen to meet his parents.

"She's sleeping." Derek announced as he entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table next to Mark. "How long is she going to be like this?"

"There's no telling for sure. Let's let her sleep for a few hours and then when dinner is ready we can see if she feels like eating or not."

"Will she always be sick?"

"No Beth. Usually just after the chemo but we will have to wait and see how she takes the next 3 treatments."

"How bad could it get daddy?"

"Some people get really sick. The important thing is that we need to make sure she is drinking water. She isn't going to want to because of the nausea but we need to make sure she does."

"We will."

"Also I asked Dr. Smith to make sure one of us is with her for her next treatments. I don't want her being alone." Michael finished before turning back to Beth. "Did Curt bring her home?"

"I guess. He didn't come in."

"What a jerk."

"Mark."

"Sorry mom."

"Just don't talk like that. I'm sure this is hard on him."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that mom."

"What do you mean Beth?"

"I saw them talking. He didn't even give her a kiss or hug goodbye and he didn't look back to make sure she made it in the house before he left."

"I hope you are mistaken for Meredith's sake."

"She's better off without him."

"You may be right Derek but this is not an ideal time to go through a break up don't you think?"

Cindy watched as both Derek and Mark nodded in agreement.

After a few hours Michael and Cindy made their way up to Meredith's room to check on her. When they entered they found she was still sleeping.

"Should we wake her?"

Michael nodded as they made their way to her bed. Once there Cindy gently shook her. "Mer honey, can you wake up?"

Meredith stirred slightly feeling someone touching her.

"Come on Mer honey wake up."

Michael had gone into the bathroom and brought back a glass of water. "Meredith can you open your eyes?"

Slowly she opened her eyes and found Cindy and Michael looking at her. "I'm awake."

"How do you feel?"

Meredith was silent for a moment as if gathering her thoughts. "I'm just tired."

"That's to be expected. How is the nausea?"

"I still feel a little sick but not like earlier. I'm sorry about the lamp mom."

"It's okay dear, we can get another."

"Can you sit up and drink some water for us?"

Meredith looked at the glass and wanted to say no but she saw the looks in their eyes and decided to do as she was asked. She struggled to sit up before she felt two strong arms help her up. She saw it was Michael and thanked him for the help.

Once she was settled Michael handed her the glass and watched as she slowly drank the water. When she finished she handed the empty glass back to Michael. "Thank-you."

"Do you want to try and eat something?"

"I don't think so mom. I just want to sleep some more if that is okay."

Cindy looked to Michael who nodded and then looked back to Meredith. "That is fine dear. Just call if you need anything and I will check on you before we turn in for the night."

"Thank-you. Goodnight."

Michael helped Meredith to lay back down and watched as Cindy pulled the blanket up and gave her a kiss. It seemed that as soon as her head hit the pillow again she was asleep. Michael then bent down and gave her a kiss on the forehead as Cindy had down and whispered a goodnight to her before following Cindy out of the room.

Once in the hall Cindy turned to Michael. "Will she be okay since she isn't eating?"

"She will be fine dear. If she doesn't feel like eating tomorrow you can worry. Just let her get her strength back tonight."

"Okay. Let's get back downstairs before your sons and daughter come looking for us."

Michael chuckled. "I wonder if she realizes the effect she has on our children."

"I don't think she would admit that and you know it's not just Derek, Mark, and Beth that have those feelings for her. The other girls do as well and I am pretty sure I am looking at someone else who does. I saw the look on your face when she called you dad."

"She is something else that is for sure. I couldn't think of anyone more suited for our family and for Derek."

"I agree now let's get going."

Michael smiled and followed Cindy down the stairs to join the rest of the family for dinner.

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Finally school started back up and Meredith was able to go back after only needing to miss the first month.

It was a Friday night and Derek and Meredith were going to meet Mark, Izzie, and Alex for dinner and a movie. He was waiting by his car for Meredith when Alex came up. "Hey Alex."

"Hey Shepherd. I got your text, are we going out tonight since your parents are out of town?"

"Yes but I need your help with something."

"Okay, what's up?" Alex asked.

Derek told Alex his plans and Alex agreed to meet him. They finalized their plans right before Meredith got there.

Derek took Meredith home and they got changed and made sure Beth was okay before they left. After a few minutes Meredith realized that he wasn't going the way they usually go so she turned to him and smiled. "Where are we going?"

"I'm not going to tell you, just enjoy the ride."

Meredith was going to respond however she decided to stay quiet as she turned to look out the window.

After about 10 minutes Derek turned down a road that Meredith didn't recognize. After a few more turns her eyes found a car parked ahead with two people standing next to it. As they came into focus she turned back to Derek. "I thought we were meeting them at the theater."

"I asked Alex for a favor and I guess he brought Mark with for the drive."

They got closer and Meredith started to fidget. "What are we doing here Derek?"

Derek could tell she was nervous. As he pulled up behind Alex's car he turned off the ignition and turned to Meredith. "I need to do something and it's time you do to."

"Derek I…" Meredith started however Derek had already gotten out of the car and he ran around to open her door.

"Come on Mer." Derek said as he reached out his hand to her.

Meredith looked at his hand and then looked in his eyes. She then turned to Alex and Mark. After a few seconds she turned her eyes back towards Derek however she looked past him to where they were.

"Do you trust me Mer?"

Meredith turned her eyes back up to Derek and met his eyes with tears in hers. "I trust you Derek." She reached up and grabbed his hand.

Derek helped her out of the car and pulled her into a hug after closing her door. "I'm here Mer. I know this is hard but it's time. I promise it will be okay." He whispered.

Meredith stayed in his embrace for another minute before pulling back and nodding. "Okay."

Derek gave her a small smile as he grabbed her hand in his and started walking towards Alex and Mark. He felt Meredith squeeze his hand tighter as they got closer. They stopped in front of them. Meredith held her head down as Derek spoke. "Alex, Mark. Thank-you for coming."

"Anything for Mer." Alex replied with a soft smile.

"Can you show us?"

"Are you ready?"

Derek felt Meredith squeeze his hand again as he looked down to her. He turned back to Alex. "We're ready."

"Okay, follow me." Alex said as he started to walk away, Mark fell into step with Alex while Derek followed behind with Meredith still at his side.

After walking for about 5 minutes they came to a stop by a tree. "This is it. During the afternoon on the rare occasions when it is sunny the tree there provides shade." Alex offered up and then there was silence.

Meredith lifted her eyes slightly from the ground and when she looked up she squeezed Derek's hand quickly. "I can't do this Derek." She cried as she turned to walk away.

Derek didn't let her go. "Mer."

"Derek maybe this isn't the right time."

"It is. Mer please, it's time." Derek wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Alex?"

Alex gave a slight nod of his head. "It's been awhile since I've been here. I brought some friends that I thought you should meet. Derek and Mark are on the football team with me. Mer's here too. Anyway…" Alex stopped not knowing what else to say as he looked to Derek who was still holding Meredith.

"I know you are not here however I think it's time for Mer to say goodbye to you Jason and I wanted to let you know that I am going to take good care of her from now on. I am going to ask your sister to date me. I know you already know this but I wanted to tell you myself." Derek said as he pulled Meredith in a little tighter. He looked down to her, "Mer?"

Meredith heard Derek and Alex both speak but she was still at a loss. After a few minutes she slowly lifted her eyes. She stepped out of Derek's hold and approached the tombstone. She slowly kneeled and lifted her hand to trace the wording. "Jason…" She turned back to Derek and looked him in the eyes briefly before turning back to the tombstone.

Derek watched her walk forward and kneel. When he saw her eyes again he saw the tears were still there but he knew what she was saying. He turned to Alex and Mark. "Guys let's give her a few minutes." Derek waited for their nods before turning back to Meredith. "I'm here if you need me Mer." Derek didn't wait for a reply knowing that she heard him he turned and followed Mark and Alex as they walked away to give Meredith some time alone.

"Jason…I'm…I don't even know what to say." Meredith started but them stopped. She took a deep breath and as another sob escaped her mouth so did all the words she had been holding in. She talked about her addiction after the accident, she talked about coming back to live with Ray and her mom, she talked about how Ray treated her and what she did to try and handle it. She then talked about meeting Derek and the Shepherds and what happened that brought her into their lives. She talked about the cancer and Curt. Then she just talked about Derek and his family. She talked about everything. "I'm sorry…about the accident I'm sorry. The Shepherds are amazing and Mark and Izzie are great friends, I really think you would like them all. I don't know what my life would be like if you were still here Jason but I want you to know I'm happy now." Meredith paused as she looked behind her to catch Derek's eye. She turned her head back around and continued. "I love you so much Jason and I do miss you every day. I won't forget all the things you told me I promise. Derek, he talks about the happily ever after and all that mushy stuff." Meredith paused again as she heard Derek's footsteps. "Goodbye Jason, I love you."

"Mer?"

"I'm okay Der, I'm okay."

"I had Alex pick these up." Derek said as he handed Meredith a bunch of orange roses.

"Thank-you." Meredith replied as she took the flowers and placed them in front of the tombstone.

Derek watched her place the flowers down and then lean forward gently and kiss the tombstone. She looked back to him and he helped her up. "Are you really okay?"

Meredith smiled and reached up and kissed him. "Thank-you Der. Thank-you for doing this."

Derek gave her a hug and when she pulled away he spoke. "Mer, can you give me a few minutes?"

Meredith looked at him confused at first and then nodded. She reached up and gave him one more kiss on the cheek before stepping away.

Derek kneeled down to the grave. "I don't usually talk to tombstones but I feel in this situation I need to. I wanted to make sure that you know I will not hurt her. I am not one of those guys you warned her about. I know you know all this already but I wanted you to hear it from me. Mer is going to be a Shepherd. She already is but when she's ready I'm going to ask her to make it official. When the time comes I hope we will have your blessing because I know how important you are to her. I guess I'm rambling like she does, I think it's cute by the way, so I'm going to stop now since it's getting late." Derek stopped and glanced behind him seeing Meredith with Alex and Mark he turned his head back and spoke seriously. "I love your sister Jason and I give you my word that I will not hurt her and that she will have the happily ever after you told her she deserves." Derek finished and stood. He gave one last look to the tombstone and turned heading back to Meredith.

Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek as soon as he came up to them. Alex and Mark looked at him. "Are you okay?"

"I've never been better Mark." Derek smiled. "I think it's time we get out of here. We can come back anytime you want Mer."

Meredith looked him in the eyes. "He's not here; I know he's not here Derek. I didn't realize it until now but what I needed was to say goodbye since I didn't get to go to the funeral. I did that today thanks to you and…I'm okay now. How about we all go get some ice cream, Mark's treat?"

"Why is it my treat?"

"Because it's your fault that dad won't leave me in the kitchen alone."

"It's not my fault you can't use a toaster or microwave."

"But it is your fault that mom got me into that kitchen to find out that I can't use a toaster or a microwave."

"But…"

"Enough you two. Let's go get that ice cream." Derek pulled her towards the car. After she got in he went around to the driver's side and as he was getting in he called out. "It's Mark's treat!"

Derek started pulling away and noticed that Alex was following. Meredith turned to him with a smile on her face. "So when are you going to ask me to date you?"

Derek turned and saw her smile and put an identical one on his face. "You are just going to have to wait and see."

"You know I hate surprises."

"I do but you see this is not a surprise because you know that I am going to ask you."

"But..."

"No but's. Now where do you want to go to get that ice cream?"

"Cold Stone."

"Cold Stone it is. Why don't you call Alex and let him know where we are going incase we get seperated."

Meredith nodded and pulled out her phone.

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_Everyone told me they wanted to be with me for my treatments but I didn't want to burden them. So I made the decision to have Curt take me. I knew he didn't like hospitals but I had hoped since he was going to be there for me that he would come in and sit with me. I was so wrong. At that point I knew that Curt and I would not be together any longer. When he dropped me off he confirmed that for me. I was sad of course but I guess I had already prepared myself so it really didn't hurt as much as it should have or maybe that's another sign that I really didn't love Curt._

_Dr. Smith had said I would get sick said but I didn't realize it would be so fast. Yet again Derek was there for me and Cindy and Michael were right behind him. The next morning when I felt better I got an earful from both Cindy and Michael because I didn't' tell them about my appointment. Of course, Derek, Mark, and Beth were there with smiles on their faces as they sat behind Cindy and Michael. After that I didn't dare go to another appointment without either of them. I was surprised that Cindy and Michael both took time off to be there for me. I guess that's what real parents do for their children. I was happy they were there and that they took care of me when I was sick afterwards. Going through it was harder than I thought it would be but if they weren't there I think it would have been a hundred times worse. _

After I finished all my treatments I had another appointment with Dr. Smith but this one was different than the first time I sat in her office because Cindy and Michael were there sitting on each side of me. Each of them held one of my hands while Dr. Smith read my results and let us know that I was in remission. When she told us both of them let go of my hands and crushed me in a hug...it was the best feeling. Once we all calmed down we talked about the next step which would hopefully be the last time I would have to be in a hospital. We spoke about the breast reconstruction that I would have and Dr. Smith intorduced us to the doctor so he could explain everything. Once we were done we went out for dinner to celebrate.

I had the survery while Derek was with Mark and Alex for a weekend. I think he knew about it but he let me be by myself with Cindy and Michael. I appreciated that from him and my other friends. And once it was done I finally feel like I was able to move on and start to enjoy my junior year.

_Saying goodbye to Jason was something I thought I had done a long time before however after leaving the cemetery I knew that I truly did. I still think about Jason everyday but it doesn't hurt as much. I'm hoping that the remaining pain will dull more in time. I was a little surprised that Derek said he was going to ask me out…he did. That night he asked and I said yes. Since then we have gotten closer. We are taking things slow so only kisses and hugs for now. I didn't realize how good it felt to love someone and have them love you back. That's just another confirmation that Curt was not right for me…really I should have known after the dinner we all had. I knew dad did not like him but I thought it was just him being over protective. _

_And the bit about not being allowed into the kitchen was due to a bet that Mark had made with Alex that he lost. Because he lost I ended up getting cooking lessons. I still haven't' found out the full bet but I know it had to do with Derek and I because every time it is brought up Derek blushes. I fully intend to find out the details and to get through the cooking lessons. At least mom hasn't given up on me yet._

_So far junior year has started out better than other years. I'm trying not to think about the other shoe because mom said I should look to the positives but I can't seem to get rid of that little voice I keep hearing._


	7. Chapter 7

Izzie walked to the door and opened it. "Mark what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone. I know your parents are out of town so I thought I would come over. Are you going to let me in?"

Izzie stepped aside and let Mark in closing the door after him. "I'm not alone. Mer is over. We just fell asleep so keep your voice down. Where's Derek?"

"He said he was heading home and I got board. I thought Mer was coming over tomorrow?"

"She was but Beth was going to be away with some friends for the weekend so she decided to come tonight. We watched a couple movies and had some pizza."

"Sounds like fun." Mark smiled as he leaned in to kiss Izzie however before he could capture her lips they both jumped apart when they heard a scream.

"NO DEREK!"

Both ran around the corner where they found Meredith sitting up panting. They approached her and both kneeled down in front of her. Izzie placed her hand on Meredith's shoulder. "Mer are you alright?"

Meredith blinked a few times and looked between Izzie and Mark. She then looked back to Mark. "Where's Derek?"

"He went home. I…"

Meredith jumped up and ran to the door with Mark and Izzie following behind. "Bye Iz I'll call you tomorrow."

"Meredith wait, where are you going it's the middle of the night?"

"I gotta go there's…I have to get home."

Izzie looked at Mark before turning back to Meredith. "Mer, the Shepherds know you are staying here so you don't have to go. Besides you don't have a car, I picked you up remember?"

"I just…I have to…Derek…I have to see Derek…"

Mark looked concerned at seeing Meredith so worked up. "Mer why do you have to see Derek at 2 in the morning?"

"I have to make sure he's okay Mark."

"Of course he's fine Mer, why wouldn't he be?"

"Iz I just have to go."

"I'll take her home Iz. Why don't you get some sleep and I'll call you in the morning?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure." Mark gave her a kiss goodbye as he followed Meredith out of the house.

Meredith practically ran to the car and jumped in. As soon as Mark got in they headed to the Shepherds.

Mark soon pulled up and Meredith jumped out of the car. She looked for her purse and realized she left it at Izzie's. "I forgot my purse."

"I'll let Izzie know in the morning, Mer what is this about?"

"He's not here. Mark he's not here."

"Meredith calm down, I'm sure he's upstairs sleeping."

"No Mark his bike isn't here." Meredith said as she ran to the door and started knocking loudly.

"Meredith?"

"Something's wrong Mark. I had a dream that Derek…I know something's wrong."

The door swung open and Cindy looked at the two standing before her. Before she could say anything Meredith pushed her way through and ran up the stairs. "Meredith? What on earth is going on Mark?"

"I don't know mom. I stopped by Izzie's and Mer woke up and…she said she had to come home to see Derek."

Meredith came running down the stairs. "Where is he mom? Where is Derek?"

"What do you mean where is he, he should be sleeping."

"He's not there. He's not in his room. Something's wrong, I know something is wrong."

"Maybe he decided to stay at Alex's."

"No he wouldn't he should be…"

Meredith was cut off by the phone ringing. Cindy went to answer. "Who on earth would be calling at this time of night? Hello."

"_Cindy?"_

"Michael what are you calling for at this time of night?"

"_Cindy, it's…"_

"Michael you're scaring me. What is it?"

"_It's Derek, he was brought in."_

"Derek?"

"_Yes, he was in an accident. I'm sending someone to get you, I don't want you driving."_

"No, no it's okay. Mark is here."

"_Mark? What is he doing there?"_

"He brought.." Cindy paused as her eyes connected with Meredith. "Meredith home."

"_Okay..."_

Cindy cut him off. "We'll be right there." Cindy said before hanging up without saying goodbye to her husband. "Mark, I need you to take us to the hospital."

"What is it mom?"

"Derek was in an accident and was taken to the hospital."

As soon as the words left her mouth she started up the stairs to change.

Meredith heard Cindy and her knees started to shake. She quickly grabbed onto Mark to keep herself from falling.

Mark quickly put his arm around Meredith to hold her up. "It's okay Mer, he's okay."

"You don't know that Mark." Meredith said just above a whisper.

Mark didn't reply as Cindy came down the stairs and they all went out to the car. Mark quickly drove them to the hospital.

Mark sat holding Cindy while Meredith paced the floor in front of them. "Mer come sit down."

"I'm fine." Meredith replied as she started walking faster. And the thoughts that were running through her head got louder. 'He has to be okay…he can't die…he's all I have.' She kept hearing over and over.

After a while Meredith heard footsteps and looked up to see Michael and Ellis walking towards them. Her breath caught in her throat because she couldn't read their expressions. She heard Mark and Cindy stand and she saw them walk past her to meet them. Meredith took a step but the rest of her body wouldn't move and all the sudden she couldn't breathe at all. She put her hands to her chest and gasped. Within seconds she felt an arm around her and she looked up to see Mark as he led her towards the adults.

"No." Meredith whispered.

Michael walked up to his wife and embraced her. "He'll be okay Cindy."

"Michael where is he?"

"They are prepping him for surgery."

"What's wrong?"

"There's internal bleeding. They need to go in right away to stop it."

"Who is going to do the surgery?" Mark asked still holding Meredith close to him.

Ellis stepped forward. "I have my resident scrubbing in as we speak. I'll make sure that an intern keeps you updated." Ellis glanced to Meredith before turning and walking back down the hall.

"WAIT!"

Ellis stopped and turned to see Meredith running towards her with the Shepherds standing where she had left them.

Meredith had pulled herself from Marks arms and ran towards her mother. Once she reached her she stopped and took a breath before speaking. "Please…please do the surgery."

"The resident can handle it and I have paperwork to catch up on."

"Please. He needs the best and you are the best. I haven't ever asked you for anything but I'm asking you for this. Please do the surgery. I need him to be alright."

Ellis saw the desperation in her daughter's eyes and for a moment she felt something however it didn't last long. She looked towards the Shepherds and then back to Meredith. "If I do the surgery…you come home."

Meredith snapped her head up and looked Ellis straight in the eyes. "What?"

"If I do the surgery, you will move back home and stay away from the Shepherds."

"But…"

"That's it. Take it or leave it. You are not their responsibility and you belong at home. Ray misses you."

Meredith felt a chill run down her spine when she heard his name. For a moment she turned her head and looked toward the Shepherds who had become her family and realized that she owed this to them. She needed to make sure that they got their son back. She looked back to her mother and whispered. "Okay."

"What was that?"

"Okay, I'll move back to your house just please make sure Derek makes it through this okay."

Ellis nodded and continued down the hall. Meredith made her way back to the Shepherds and numbly sat down. Cindy made her way over to the chair next to her and put her arm around her. "He'll be okay Mer."

"I know, I made sure of it."

Michael stood in front of her and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Ellis is going to do the surgery. She told me she would do the surgery."

"How?"

Meredith looked up towards Michael and answered. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that she is going to make sure that Derek makes it through this surgery."

Michael saw the sadness in her eyes and knew it had to do with Derek being in surgery however there was another part of him that was telling him there was more to it. Instead of asking more questions he decided to let her be and took a seat next to Cindy taking her hand in his while they waited.

After what felt like days Ellis finally made her way down the hall towards the Shepherds where she told them Derek had made it through surgery and was being moved to a room. While the Shepherds embraced each other, Ellis pulled Meredith away from the group and spoke softly to her. "I expect you home within the next week. He should be able to go home by then. Don't make me regret this."

Meredith couldn't speak; instead she just nodded, as she watched Ellis walk away.

Meredith honored her agreement. Derek had made a full recovery and by the time he was home she had moved back to her mother's house. She left a note thanking Cindy and Michel for their hospitality and wished them well.

In school she made it a point to stay away from Derek as much as possible which was pretty easy because this year they did not have any classes together however Mark, Izzie, and Alex continued to ask why she had moved back home and were always asking if she was okay. She knew she was a bad liar but she didn't have a choice so she would put on her smile and just tell everyone she was fine. Derek would try to corner her during lunch or after school however she was very careful to stay away knowing it would be even harder to keep her promise to her mother if she talked to him.

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Meredith had been back with Ray and Ellis for 3 months now. Ellis was rarely home and when she was she and Ray spent the time either yelling at Meredith or watching old home movies of Jason. Meredith did her best to stay away from Ray however it wasn't working. In the months she had been back Ray had on many occasions hurt her. The hardest part was making sure that his blows were not to her face or neck so she could cover them up when they bruised. At school she could tell that her friends wanted to ask her how things were going however she continued to dodge them.

It was the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. Meredith woke up to silence. Assuming Ray had went to work she slowly got up, showered, and then made her way downstairs. When she entered the living room she saw Ray sitting on the couch watching the TV. On the screen she saw Jason. At seeing him her heart dropped. He always liked the holidays and this would be the third year that he was gone and that she spent Thansgiving alone however it still felt like yesterday. She turned to walk back out when she heard a voice.

"It's your fault."

Meredith stopped and turned back around and came face to face with Ray.

"He should be here not you."

She felt tears come to her eyes. "I know Ray."

"You are nothing Meredith. It's your fault he's gone."

"I know Ray." Meredith tried not to make him anymore mad smelling the alcohol on his breath she knew he was drunk and from the looks of the cans on the table he had been drinking for awhile.

"You are nothing Meredith."

"Where is mom?"

"She's at the hospital. She doesn't want to be around you."

"I know Ray."

Instead of saying anything further Ray raised his hand and quickly brought it down across her face. Meredith stumbled backwards but didn't fall. She turned to go up the stairs however he grabbed her and pulled her back to him.

Everything after that happened to fast. Ray started to hit her multiple times making it hard for Meredith to block his blows. Finally she was able to get free of him and she ran up the stairs. As she reached the top she felt him behind her. She was able to get a few steps away from the top step before he grabbed her again and hit her. She fell to the ground and before she knew what happened he had kicked her. She looked up quickly and saw him at the top of the steps watching her as she realized that she was now falling down the stairs. Once she hit the ground, everything went black.

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_The night of Derek's accident was the second worst night of my life. Of course the night Jason died was the first. I know it was a dream but it was so real. If Mark hadn't been there I would have walked all the way home to check on Derek even though I knew he wasn't there. The look on Cindy's face, I knew right when she found out that Derek was in the hospital. Not knowing if he would be okay or not was terrible. I kept thinking about how much I cared for him and how so far in my life anyone who I have cared for has left me so I was expecting Derek to do the same. _

_When my mom said that a resident was going to do the surgery I knew I couldn't let that happen. It wasn't that I didn't believe they could do the surgery because I knew they were my mom's resident and there was no way she would let anyone in the OR that couldn't do the job well but they were not my mother. So I did the only thing I could. I asked her to do the surgery. _

_Ellis Grey is not someone who does anything out of the goodness of her heart so of course there was an ultimatum. For me there was no choice, whatever she asked I would do as long as I knew he was okay. I didn't even think about what moving back meant for myself because it didn't matter._

_I remember Ray hitting me and falling down the stairs. The only thing I was thinking about the entire time Ray was hitting me was the Shepherds. Knowing that Thanksgiving was the day before I knew the entire family would be there and they were the picture perfect family as far as I was concerned so part of me had wanted to be there to find out what it was really like to have a holiday celebration with a family. As I was falling down the stairs however I knew that I was not meant to spend the holiday with a family, after all my family as people would say was defiantly not celebrating this year or any year._

_And as always, the other shoe defiantly dropped._


	8. Chapter 8

"Dr. Shepherd did you have a good holiday?"

"I did Olivia, did you?"

"It was good although I'm glad to be back to work."

"It is nice to be at work but I would much rather be at home with my family."

"You do have a nice family."

Michael was going to reply when the emergency doors opened and paramedics came in with a stretcher. "What have we got?"

"Seventeen year old female found unconscious. Neighbors called it in."

Michael reached the stretcher and took a deep breath as his eyes focused on the girls face.

"Dr. Shepherd what do you want?" A nurse asked.

Michael shook his head slightly and immediately went into action. "Full work up and page Dr. Grey immediately. Dr. Singh you're on this case. You will not leave her do you understand me?" Michael watched his intern nod before continuing. "She needs a CT and an MRI. As soon as you get the results you page me is that understood? I need to know what the damage is and why she's not awake. Now go and she's priority I need the results yesterday." Michael watched the gurney get rolled away before turning back to the paramedics and the nurse that was standing there. "What do you know?"

"Not much, the neighbors heard fighting and screaming. They called the police."

Michael looked to the right and saw two police officers enter the ER. "What happened?"

"From what we can tell…they were fighting. She fell or was pushed down the stairs."

"What do you mean by from what you can tell?"

"The father…"

"Step father. That man is not her father."

"Okay step father, we think he pushed her down the stairs and when she wouldn't wake up he panicked. He got in his car and sped down the street. About a block down he ran into a tree and died on impact. There was alcohol involved."

As he took in what he was being told Michael took a seat on a nearby stool. He looked up to the nurse, "I need you to call my wife. Don't say anything; just get her on the phone for me."

The nurse nodded and slipped away as Dr. Grey made her appearance. "Why was I paged?"

"You might want to sit down Ellis."

"Dr. Shepherd what is the meaning of this?"

Michael looked towards the officers. "This is Dr. Grey."

They understood who was now in front of them as they looked to her. "Dr. Grey we're sorry to have to tell you this but…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Dr. Grey your husband was in an accident tonight. We're sorry to have to say he did not make it."

Ellis just stared at them not saying a word and her face didn't show any emotions.

"Your daughter was brought in as well. She was unconscious when we arrived at the scene so we don't know her status at this time."

Ellis looked towards Michael asking the question without words.

"I sent her for an MRI and a CT. I'm to be paged as soon as the results are in."

Ellis nodded and slowly walked away with no other words.

Michael stood and made his way to the nurses' station where a phone was handed to him. "Cindy?"

"Michael, what is it?"

"Where is everyone?"

"Derek, Mark, Nancy, Kathleen, and Amelia are watching TV and Beth is at a friend's house tonight. She wanted to spend some time with her friends so she could be with family the rest of the weekend?"

"I remember Cindy."

"Michael?"

"A patient was just brought in and…"

Cindy knew that if her husband was calling it was bad and she could tell by his voice that something was terribly wrong. Knowing that all her children were accounted for she had a moment of peace until she realized that one of her children the one who had disappeared from their lives three months ago with no reason was not accounted for and that's when she knew. "It's Meredith isn't it?"

Not knowing what to say he just decided to agree. "Yes."

"What happened?"

Michael was about to answer when his pager went off. He looked down and saw the 911. "Cindy I have to go now. Just get here. I'll have Olivia meet you and explain what we know so far. I love you and drive carefully."

"I love you too and take care of her."

"I will." Michael said as he hung up the phone before taking off down the hallway.

Michael quickly made his way to the CT room expecting to see scans however when he approached he heard yelling. Coming in he saw the activity and pushed his way forward. "What happened?"

"She's crashing Dr. Shepherd. She started crashing before we could finish the scans."

Michael immediately went to action along with the others in the room to get her stable. Once she was he looked up to his intern. "Dr. Singh, what the hell happened?"

"She was stable Dr. Shepherd, I don't know but I swear she was stable."

Michael started examining her and when he felt her abdomen his eyes grew wide as he lifted her gown and saw the huge bruises. "What the hell?"

The nurse and intern both gasped at the sight of the bruises and watched as Dr. Shepherd practically pulled the patients gown away so he could see more of her body and more of the bruises. As he did so everyone got a look at the body that was lying in front of them. There were bruises all over her. Some were yellow while the others were black and blue.

"What is going on in here?"

Michael looked up and saw Ellis step into the room. "Look…look what your husband has done." Michael yelled.

"He didn't do anything to her."

"Are you saying that she did this to herself? Look at her Ellis. Tell me she did this to herself. Look at her."

Ellis looked into his blazing eyes before looking down to her daughter. She immediately put her hand to her mouth at the sight. "No…no he wouldn't have done this, he loved her."

"Love doesn't do this, you let him do this. What kind of mother are you?"

Ellis couldn't reply as Michael carefully covered Meredith back up with the exception of her abdomen.

Dr. Singh stepped forward, "It looks to me like she was kicked and from the feeling I would say she is bleeding into her abdomen. We need to get her into surgery right away."

Michael looked away from Ellis and back to Dr. Singh. "Prep the OR and Meredith. You'll scrub in. Go now." Michael watched Dr. Singh leave the room and bent down to Meredith's ear. "I'm going to take care of you now. He will never hurt you again so you need to make sure you come back to us. For now, just rest." When he stood he nodded to the nurse that was there to take Meredith. When he turned back around he saw Olivia. "Olivia, I need you to tell my wife what is happening. I know you don't know everything but she is coming and I need to do this surgery so I can't be down there to meet her. You can take her to my office if they would be more comfortable." Michael then watched Olivia leave the room. He turned to Ellis however he couldn't say anything. Instead he turned back around and left the room.

Cindy made her way quickly down the hallway with her children following her. Derek and Mark were both asking questions however Cindy didn't answer. She was on a mission and she wasn't going to stop until she got the answers she was looking for knowing that anything less would hurt them as much as it would her. Finally she saw the person she was looking for. "Olivia!"

Olivia looked up from the nurses' station and made her way towards Cindy. "Mrs. Shepherd."

"Please call me Cindy; we've known each other long enough. Michael said you would let me know what was going on. Please just tell me."

Olivia nodded and led them to some nearby chairs. "Dr. Shepherd said you could go to his office if you would be more comfortable."

"This is fine for now; please just tell me about Meredith."

As soon as they heard her name all heads turned towards their mother and Olivia as they waited for her to talk.

Olivia took a deep breath and then started talking. "She was brought in unconscious. Dr. Shepherd sent for a CT and MRI."

"What were the results?"

"We didn't get results. When she was in for a CT she crashed. She was pulled out and Dr. Shepherd made sure she was stable before he further examined her. During the exam he found…" Olivia took a breath before continuing. "Cindy, she has bruises all over her body. Many were yellow so we know they are old however there were many that are black and blue. There was a big bruise on her abdomen. It looked like she had been kicked. And they believe she is bleeding internally which is why Dr. Shepherd had to rush her into surgery."

Cindy had tears in her eyes as she looked at Olivia. "Do you know what happened before she was brought in?"

"All we know is that there was fighting and screaming. The neighbors called the police and when they arrived she was at the bottom of the stairs unconscious. Her step father was found a block away. He had ran into a tree and died on impact. Apparently he had been drinking and lost control of the car. That's all we know until Meredith wakes up and tells us exactly what happened."

"How long will the surgery last?"

Olivia looked at her watch and then back to Cindy. "If everything goes okay maybe another hour or two. Do you want to go to Dr. Shepherd's office?" Cindy nodded as Olivia continued. "I'll let Dr. Shepherd know."

Cindy and the others walked to Michael's office in silence. Once they entered they all found a place to sit. Cindy looked at her two boys and saw both of them were struggling. "This isn't your fault."

Derek looked to his mother. "How can it not be? We didn't do anything. We didn't stop her from going back. We saw her come to school every day and knew that the smile she gave everyone was fake but we didn't do anything about it. If we had done something we wouldn't be sitting here and she wouldn't' be on an operating table."

Mark looked from Derek to Cindy. "We knew what he was capable of mom. We should have protected her."

Cindy stood and walked over to her boys before kneeling in front of them. "Now you two listen to me. We all love her and know that she doesn't deserve any of this. She made the decision to go back to her family."

"They are not her family."

"Derek. I know how you feel but they are her family. I'm sure she had her reasons and as those who love her it was our job to support her. She was trying to be a better person and love them. You can't fault her for that."

"I know mom. She always thinks of others before herself. She told us everything was okay. She told us he hasn't touched her since when she first came to live with us. I should have pushed her more. I knew she was lying but I couldn't see any bruises so I believed her. I shouldn't have believed her mom."

Cindy pulled them both into a hug knowing they were beating themselves up just like she was.

They all sat for another two hours in silence as they waited for news. Finally they heard the door open and turned to see Michael standing there. Everyone stood and Cindy practically ran to him.

Michael pulled his wife in for a hug. Once he let her go he looked at all of them and spoke. "She's okay. I had to remove her spleen but we were able to stop the bleeding and she will be okay."

"Has she woken up yet?"

"No Cindy. She's still unconscious."

"Is there something wrong, did she hit her head?"

"She has a concussion but nothing to show that she won't wake up. We just need to give her time now."

"Can we be with her?"

"Of course. Come on, I'll take you there before I change and clean up. Then I will join you."

Cindy nodded as she followed her husband out of the office. On their way to the room she fell in step with him and grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze.

Michael stopped in front of a room and turned to his wife. "Cindy."

"I know about the bruises Michael. Olivia told us everything. Just let me see her. She needs us in there."

Michael nodded as he pushed open the door and led his family in. Cindy immediately went to her bed and grabbed one of her hands. He watched his wife brush a strand of hair out of Meredith's face. He then saw Derek reach the other side of the bed and grab Meredith's other hand the best he could since her arm was in a sling. Mark came up next to Derek and placed his hand softly on Meredith's leg. Michael assumed it was just to let her know he was there.

In that moment he was proud of his family knowing they would be there for Meredith to help her through this part of her life. He quietly pulled up a chair for Cindy and himself as he watched his two boys do the same on the other side of the bed and his daughters sat on the couch in the room.

"What happened to her arm and leg?"

"While I was doing the surgery I had an ortho surgeon come in and he confirmed that her shoulder was dislocated and her leg was broken. I can only assume it was because of the fall."

"How do they know she fell down the stairs?"

"We won't know for sure until she wakes up but she was found at the bottom of the stairs and the police said it looked like she had fallen down them from the way she was laying."

There was no more discussion as they sat in silence until the door opened. None of them turned their heads assuming it was just a nurse coming to check on Meredith however when they heard her voice all heads turned towards her. "How is she?"

"Why do you care?"

"Derek don't."

"She's my daughter. How is she Dr. Shepherd?"

"I was able to stop the bleeding and I had to remove her spleen. She has a concussion probably from the fall down the stairs along with a dislocated shoulder and a broken leg. And aside from the hundreds of bruises over her body she will be okay."

Ellis had heard what he said but taking in the sight of her daughter lying in the bed got to her. She saw her before but now as she really looked at her she saw the bruises and the monitors as it all sunk in. "I really didn't know that he was doing this. He said he loved her and wanted her to live with us. He wanted us to be a real family again even without Jason. I believed him. She never told me that he was doing anything to hurt her. I never wanted her to be hurt."

"Like the other times?" Mark asked.

Ellis looked to the two boys before looking back to Dr. Shepherd. "It was me. I made her come home."

Michael looked her in the eyes as he felt his stomach start to turn. "How, how did you make her?"

"The surgery. I told her I would do your sons surgery if she promised to move back home and cut off all ties to you and your family. She wanted to make sure that the best was doing the operation and she knew I was the best."

The Shepherds were speechless. They never knew the true reason that Meredith left but they never thought it would be because of this. Cindy spoke first. "She put herself at risk to make sure that Derek was okay. How could you not see what is right in front of you Ellis? You have an amazing daughter and yet all you do is hurt her."

"I didn't know this was happening."

"How could you when you were never home."

"Mark don't."

"He's right Dr. Shepherd. I spent more time at this hospital then at home." Ellis stopped and looked at Meredith before looking back to Dr. Shepherd. "Dr. Shepherd can I speak to you for a moment in private?"

Michael looked to his wife. He saw her nod and then he motioned to Ellis to go out into the hall.

Once they were out in the hall, Ellis spoke. "I've been offered a position in Boston. I've decided to take it. I know I haven't been a mother to her and I'm afraid now I've hurt her beyond repair. Will you and your wife take her in? I have set up a trust for her and I can make sure you get money each month. I don't think bringing her with would be the right thing. I know she was happy with your family and after everything that has happened I want her to be happy."

Michael was at a loss for words. He really hadn't expected her to ask this but he knew what to do without a second thought knowing that Cindy would agree. "Of course we will. And there is no need for money Ellis."

Ellis shook her head. "It's the least I can do. I'll make sure the movers drop off her things before they bring my things to Boston."

"I can bring the boys and we can pick them up. How soon are you leaving?"

"In the morning. There's nothing left for me here now and the sooner the better."

"Okay, I'll bring the boys tomorrow. We can pack her things and bring them to the house."

"Thank-you. I'll go say goodbye now."

Michael watched as Ellis slipped back into the room and made her way up to Meredith. She bent down and whispered, "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I don't know of any way to make this up to you besides giving you what's best and that is a family. I'm going to go and you are going to stay with the Shepherds. They love you Meredith more than I have shown you and you deserve this. You deserve a family that I never gave you. I do love you and one day I hope you will believe that. Goodbye." Ellis gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before turning back to Cindy and bending down to whisper in her ear. "You are the mother I will never be. Please take care of her and give this to her when she wakes up." When she was finished she quickly left the room.

Cindy looked to Michael.

"She got a job offer in Boston and she asked that Meredith stay with us. I told her we would keep her. I hope you don't mind having another mouth to feed."

Cindy smiled before standing and hugging her husband. "Of course I don't mind. Thank-you."

"It was the best thing for her. She deserves a family and we can give that to her especially after what she did for Derek."

"When will she leave?"

"She's leaving in the morning. Derek, Mark I'll need you both to help me tomorrow. We are going to go pack up her stuff and move her to the spare room. I want her to have her own room."

Slowly she felt the pull to open her eyes. She knew it was bright because she could tell through her eyelids however the last thing she remembered was falling down the stairs. She didn't remember getting up and she defiantly did not remember getting into bed. That's when she heard the other noises in the room. There were whispers and beeps. Next she noticed the smell. There was a mixture of the hospital smell she was use to and a smell she thought she would never get to smell again. Slowly she opened her eyes squinting some at the bright lights.

"Mer, you're back."

"Cindy?"

Cindy leaned in closer. "Yes sweetheart it's me."

Meredith wanted to hug her so she wouldn't disappear. When she moved out before she hadn't realized she would miss Cindy and Dr. Shepherd as much as she did. She had gotten used to having them there for her even though she didn't go to them she knew they were there and she missed that. "You…you shouldn't here be." Meredith replied coming out horse.

Cindy stood and got some water before helping Meredith take a drink to ease her throat that she knew was soar. "I'm right where I should be."

"What…what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember landing on the floor before everything went black and..."

"Mer honey tell me what you remember."

Meredith looked away not wanting to see her face. She took a deep breathe and then opened up. "He was drunk and watching old movies of Jason. He told me I shouldn't be there and then he hit me. I ran up the stairs and he followed me. He caught up to me and he hit me again. I fell down and then he kicked me. I didn't realize I was so close to the stairs. I guess when he hit me I must have stumbled some before I fell. When he kicked me I started going down the stairs. I remember it hurt, right after he kicked me but then I hit the wall and my shoulder started hurting. I think I did something to my leg before I reached the bottom because then it started hurting." Meredith paused as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I have to get home. I'm sure I need to clean him up before mom gets home." Meredith finished as she went to sit up.

Cindy reached over to settle her. "Mer you are not going anywhere. You just had surgery and your shoulder was dislocated. You also have a broken leg so you are going to stay in this bed and heal."

Meredith struggled some before settling back down.

"Meredith I need to tell you something."

Meredith just looked at her and waited for her to continue.

"Ray he…there was an accident last night. Before you were brought in he hit a tree and didn't make it."

"What?"

"I'm sorry Mer but he didn't make it."

"Mom?"

"She got a job offer in Boston and she's decided to take it. She left this letter for you."

Looking at Cindy she asked, "Can you read it to me please?"

Cindy nodded and opened the letter as she began to read. _"Dear Meredith I don't really know what to say to you. You have been through so much and I know that now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry we blamed you for Jason's death and I'm sorry for what Ray has done to you the last year. I do love you. I know I haven't shown it but I do and I know now the only way that I can show that to you is to let you go. I'm going to Boston and you are going to stay with the Shepherds. You Meredith Grey are an amazing young women and I hope that I haven't hurt that. You deserve to be loved the way Dr and Mrs. Shepherd will love you, let them Meredith. Let them show you even if it's only for a little time what having a real family is like. You deserve that and maybe someday our paths will cross again and you won't hate me for all the hurt I have caused you. I love you Meredith….be happy, be the extraordinary women you are meant to be. Ellis." _Cindy finished reading and looked to Meredith with tears in her eyes. She saw her struggling with her emotions but Meredith wouldn't look to her. "Meredith?"

"I just want to be left alone. Please Cindy I'm tired and I think I need to sleep. You should go be with your family."

Cindy knew that at this minute Meredith was not going to listen to her so she stood and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "You are my family dear." She whispered before making her way out of the room. She found a nurse and told her she would be back and if anything happened she was to be called right away.

Once Meredith heard the door close she let her tears fall. Once again she had been left alone. Her mother couldn't even say goodbye to her face. She softly cried herself back to sleep.

Cindy had gone to get a cup of coffee and was making her way back to Meredith's room when she saw her husband approaching. "Michael."

Michael gave Cindy a kiss and hug before he spoke. "Hey, Did Mer wake up yet?"

"She did. I read her the letter Ellis left and then she asked me to leave. Where is everyone else?"

"They are all getting Mer moved in."

"Michael…"

"She will be okay…we will make sure she will be okay."

Cindy went to respond when they heard a commotion down the hall.

"Quick get a suture kit, she popped her stitches and page the intern on call."

Michael and Cindy looked at each other before quickly making their way to the room. When they entered they saw two nurses trying to hold down a screaming Meredith. Michael quickly took charge. "What is going on here Olivia?"

"Dr. Shepherd, she's having a nightmare. I tried to wake her but its not working and she popped her stitches."

Cindy quickly went to the other side of the bed and grabbed Meredith's hand as she tried to wake her.

"Dr. Shepherd should we sedate her so she doesn't hurt herself more?"

Michael caught Cindy's eyes before he responded. "No we don't need to sedate her we just need to wake her up. Olivia why don't you go get that suture kit for me and let the intern know that I have it from here please."

Olivia nodded as she left the room.

Cindy had finally gotten through to Meredith. "Mer, honey open your eyes."

Slowly Meredith stopped struggling and opened her eyes. She found Cindy and Michael watching her.

"Its okay honey, it was just a bad dream. You're okay now."

Meredith winced as she moved her hand to wipe her face.

"You popped your stitches. I'm going to have to fix them for you." Michael paused as Olivia entered the room with the suture kit in her hand. Michael nodded as he accepted it and watched Olivia leave. "I'm going to numb the area first and then I'll get started. It won't take long." Michael finished. He looked to Cindy and then started cleaning the area before he fixed her stitches.

Cindy watched Michael start before turning her attention to Meredith who still hadn't said anything. "Mer do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about? It might make you feel better." Cindy just watched the hurt and sadness in Meredith's eyes before she spoke again deciding to change the subject. "Michael and the boys packed all your stuff and brought it to the house. The girls are there now with Derek and Mark. According to your doctor you should be able to come home in about 2 more days as long as there is no infection. Doesn't that sound good to you?"

Meredith looked away from Cindy and towards Michael.

"She's right Meredith. I think the girls are happy there will be another female joining the family. Especially Beth. She was practically jumping out of her skin when I told her you were coming to live with us."

"I don't want to be a burden. I can stay in the room above the garage."

"No you can't. Meredith you are not going to be a burden and you will be staying in the house. I know it will take some time to get use to all of us again but you are a part of our family now so whatever it takes for you to realize that we will help you." Cindy finished as she looked to Michael.

"She's right Meredith. You are not alone anymore. There I'm done." Michael finished with the bandage as he took a step back.

"Thank-you…thank-you for fixing the stitches."

"You are more than welcome."

"Honey do you want to talk maybe about what your mom wrote or your nightmare?"

Meredith looked to Cindy before looking to Michael and then back to Cindy.

Cindy immediately picked up on what Meredith was saying without hearing any words. She looked to her husband. "Michael why don't you go grab us something to eat? I know Meredith hasn't had anything to eat in a while and I could go for a sandwich or something."

"I think I can do that. Does the deli across the street sound okay?"

"That would be great dear. We won't go anywhere."

Michael smiled as he bent down and gave Meredith a kiss on the forehead before he made his way around the bed and gave Cindy a kiss. Then he left the room.

Once he was out of the room Cindy looked down to Meredith still holding her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Okay, he's gone."

Meredith took a deep breath before she started. "He was watching old video's of Jason when I came in the room and he was drinking. I should have known better than to go into the room. He would be alive if I had stayed away from him" Meredith finished with tears rolling down her face.

"This is not your fault. I know there is nothing I can say to make this better for you. I want you to know Meredith that you are a part of our family now, truth be told you have been a part of our family since Derek brought you home that first night. I know you are going through a lot right now but your mom, Meredith as a mother I really think that her leaving was the only way she could do something right for you after everything that you have been through."

"Everyone leaves."

"What was that?"

"Jason died, Ray died, mom left. Everyone that is supposed to love me leaves me."

Cindy took a seat on the bed and looked Meredith straight in the eyes. "Meredith I love you. Michael loves you and I know Derek, Mark, Beth love you. Heck even Kathleen, Nancy, and Amelia love you. We all love you and we are not going anywhere. You are not alone anymore Meredith no matter how hard you try to push us all away we are not going anywhere."

"Once you get to know me really know me you will. It's what everyone does."

"Meredith Grey that's enough. We are not leaving you. You are already moved in and I promise that we will help you through this so that you can learn to trust us. No matter what. Now when Michael gets back I expect you to eat so that you are able to go home in the next two days. I'm sure the girls will be here along with Derek and Mark soon."

"What do I say to them?"

"You don't have to say anything. Just be yourself Meredith, that's all any of us want from you."

All the sudden the door opened and in came Michael with a bunch of bags followed closely by the rest of the Shepherds. "Look what I found on the way up."

"Whatever dad. You called us and asked us if we wanted to have lunch with the three of you so we put in our orders and met you here." Nancy said as she went to grab a bag from her father.

The others chuckled before they also grabbed bags from Michael and started to eat.

The family started eating as if they were not sitting in a hospital room for which Meredith was grateful. It made her feel like she hadn't even been away from them.

Over the next three weeks she was able to heal more while Cindy and the others helped her. Meredith still was having a hard time accepting help from them all but slowly she knew she was making progress. When she was brought home she was surprised to see the Christmas decorations. Meredith had figured that the Shepherds would be into Christmas but she hadn't expected it to be like it was. Since she had never really had a Christmas she felt uncomfortable and didn't want to ruin everyone's Christmas so she decided to just stay in her room.

"Okay everyone, dinner is almost ready. Derek or Mark can you go help Meredith down?"

"I'll go. I left my pager on the dresser so I need to go up anyways." Michael replied as he headed out of the kitchen.

Michael made his way up the steps and into his room where he quickly found his pager. After checking it to make sure he hadn't missed any pages he made his way across the hall. Once he got to Meredith's room he listened to the voice coming from within.

"I'm sorry Jason. I know I let you down again. I tried to love Ray, I hope you know that. I'm alone now. Mom didn't want me and she left. I think this shows, you were wrong about me. Any way…Merry Christmas Jay. I miss you so much."

Once Meredith stopped talking she started singing 'The Little Drummer Boy'. As she sang Michael slowly and quietly pushed the door open and found her sitting partially on the bench in front of the bay window looking up into the sky.

As soon as she finished the last verse she noticed that she was not alone. "What are you doing up here?"

"Well I came to bring you down for dinner. I didn't know you could sing." Michael answered noticing the sad look in her eyes.

"I don't sing much. This was Jason and my Christmas tradition. Mom and Ray would always be gone usually at the hospital party so it was just the two of us. We would sing after a quick dinner. Usually pizza and then we would play in the snow a little and we each made our Christmas wish before heading to bed."

"What about presents?" Michael asked as he sat down next to her.

Meredith had turned so her back was to the window and she looked down at the floor. "We didn't get presents. Mom said anything we needed we would earn we didn't get handouts. Jason tried to get gifts when he got a job but I always told him to save the money for when he went to college."

"So you haven't had a real Christmas before have you?"

"I don't know what a real Christmas is. Sometimes Jason would get a little crazy and we would dance around while we sang. Usually he did that when I was sick or if Ray or Mom yelled at me. My favorite song was always The Little Drummer Boy. Usually we would sing it 3 or 4 times, I never got tired of it. Since the accident every Christmas I have spent in my room singing by myself."

Once she told her story Michael felt her sadness and wanted to cheer her up and show her what a real Christmas was at least according to the Shepherds. "What was Jason's favorite song?"

"He said he didn't have a favorite because he liked them all but I think he always had a soft side for the faster ones."

"So he could dance?"

"Probably."

"I guess it's safe to say that Santa missed your house too then right?"

"I'm not 3 anymore Dr. Shepherd."

"You know there is no age for Santa and…You…better…watch out…you…better…not cry…you…better…not pout…I'm…telling…you why…Santa..Claus…is coming…toooooo…town."

Meredith looked towards Dr. Shepherd carefully as she saw him stand and start to dance as he continued the song a little faster and louder. It didn't take long before a smile came to her face as she watched him further. He acted like he forgot the words and motioned for her to join in so Meredith started to sing with him.

As Michael continued to sing he reached down and lifted Meredith into his arms as he moved around and sang. Soon she was giggling. He smiled and continued until she was fully laughing with him as she was moved around the room.

Cindy and the rest of the family was getting ready to sit for dinner when all the sudden they heard laughing coming from up the stairs along with singing. They all looked at each other before Cindy rose to her feet and started towards the stairs while the others followed her. When they reached the top of the stairs they quickly made their way to Meredith's room where they found the laughter and singing coming from. They all perched themselves at the door and watched their husband and father dance around with Meredith while he was singing Christmas carols.

"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith tried in between laughs.

"Deck the halls with…"

"Michael. Please put me down before you hurt yourself."

"Not until you join me for a full song….Fa la la la la la la la laaa."

Meredith knew he was doing this for her and it warmed her heart as she looked up to his face and saw the smile not only on his lips but also in his eyes. That was all it took to get her to join in. "Tis the season to be jolly…Fa la la la la la la la laaa."

Michael went to start the next verse when he got a little too close to the lamp that was on the night stand and Meredith's out stretched leg hit it due to the cast. He immediately stopped moving as he heard a stern voice behind him.

"Michael Derek Shepherd what on earth are you doing?"

Michael looked down to Meredith who had a smirk on her face as she whispered. "You're in trouble."

Rolling his eyes he replied. "You be quiet this is your fault." Before he turned around and found his wife with the rest of his family. While his wife wore a serious expression he could tell the smile in her eyes however the children all had smirks on their faces. "Cindy, we were just coming down for dinner as you asked."

"I asked you about 15 minutes ago. Now I have a broken lamp. Mind telling me how getting Meredith for dinner turned into breaking my lamp and almost hurting the girl more?"

"I'm fine mom I didn't feel a thing and I'm sorry about your lamp."

"I'm glad you are okay dear however I know this is all Michaels fault. How many times do I have to tell you that you can't sing and dance at the same time?" Cindy asked with a smile as the rest of the audience broke out in laughter.

"Sorry dad but dancing and singing are not surgery and you can't be good at everything." Beth exclaimed from the doorway.

Michael was smiling as he watched his family get a good laugh along with the girl in his arms before he looked back to Cindy. "Alright enough all of you. Let's go eat before your mothers fine cooking gets cold."

Everyone reluctantly started to go back downstairs. While Cindy stayed behind for a moment with Michael and Meredith. "I'll clean it up later Cindy. Let's go eat."

Cindy nodded as she followed them downstairs. Michael put Meredith in her chair and went to the kitchen to help Cindy finish carrying in food. "Are you going to explain what we walked in on?"

Michael smiled towards her. "I promise I will but let's wait until all the other ears are sleeping okay? Just know that she finally laughed…a laugh that reached her eyes…she has never laughed like that since we have known her."

"I heard, we all heard. It was music to our ears. Even if your singing left something to be desired."

"I did hear that and if you are not nice Santa may leave you coal this year."

"If he knows what's good for him he wouldn't dare." Cindy replied as she gave him a kiss. "Come on Santa lets go eat before the natives get restless."

Michael smiled as he followed Cindy back into the dining room where they sat and enjoyed their first Christmas meal with Meredith Grey.

_The few days that I was in the hospital were spent with the Shepherds, I was never alone. They even brought in leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner. I couldn't believe how much food Cindy had cooked. She had enough for all the nurses and doctors that were there to also come in and grab a plate. Michael said she did it on purpose because she remembered the holiday's when he couldn't be home with them and she knew how hard it was so she wanted to let them know they were family. The smiles on their faces were amazing and they were so grateful._

_This was how I came to live with the Shepherds permanently. Once mom left there was no doubt where I would be living and part of me was grateful for that. After everything that happened however I was still sad that my own mother left me with another family. Don't get me wrong they were the best family I could imagine but they still were not my blood. I was amazed by how the Shepherds opened up to me. When I lived with them the first time they were great but now it was almost like I was being passed off on them and I didn't want that._

_Christmas approached fast. It would be my first Christmas with a family. I couldn't believe all the decorations they had and Cindy baked so many cookies she almost ran out of room to put them. With everything I was still sad. I know I shouldn't have been because it's not like my mother was ever home for Christmas but I just felt out of place. The Shepherds were doing their best to cheer me up but it wasn't working. Even Derek and Mark were tring everything they could think of._

_Christmas Eve was finally there and all I wanted was to spend the night in my room. I wanted to celebrate the only way I knew how so I stayed there. When Michael came in I was surprised to see him. He listened to me and then when he started singing, I couldn't believe it. That was when my walls came down and then when he picked me up and started dancing, I knew that I had a home. Michael did not show a lot of emotions to me but that night I think he also let down some walls and I wonder if that's what happened when he let Mark in._

_Even though I had a cast on and couldn't walk, that Christmas which was my first real Christmas, was the best holiday I had ever had. Of course it would have been better if Jason was really there but I like to think he was there with me and he was as happy as I was._

_Derek and I got back together. I apologized for the way I treated him but he didn't want to hear it. He thanked me for what I did for him and promised to never do anything so stupid again. All of the Shepherds thanked me and Derek got a car instead of a new bike. I had never been thanked before. I think now I'm ready to let myself be happy with Derek and my new family. To do that I know I need to let all the walls down…that was my Christmas wish and it's coming true._

Author's note: Thank-you so much to those that have reviewed...it means a lot. I figured it wouldn't be nice to make you wait a long time for this chapter so I hope you liked it. The drama is almost over along with the story. I have a total of 10 chapters so 2 more to go. I'm hoping then I can focus on the story that I haven't finished. If you have time I would appreciate your reviews and again I hope you are still enjoying the story. Thank-you all!


	9. Chapter 9

"Beth come on or we're going to miss the movie." Meredith yelled as she grabbed her purse and keys.

Beth came down the stairs, "I'm ready." They both headed into the living room where Michael and Cindy were sitting watching TV. "Bye mom, bye daddy." Beth said as she gave them each a kiss and a hug.

"What time will you two be home?"

"The movie is two hours and then we are going to stop for ice cream so probably around 11 if that's okay mom."

Cindy saw Michael give a slight nod before continuing. "That's fine dear. Drive safe and enjoy the movie."

Meredith and Beth left and went to the movie. After the movie was over Meredith called Derek on their way to get ice cream. "Hey Der."

"Hey, how was the movie?"

"It was good. Are you going to join us for ice cream?"

"No I'm still with Mark and Alex going over plays."

"Don't you know them all already?"

"We're trying to come up with some new ones."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Did you guys at least eat?"

"Yes, we got home right after you and Beth left according to mom and dad. Did you know he was off tonight?"

"He got home about an hour before Beth and I left, I thought he would be home later but I didn't ask him. I think he wanted to have a quiet night with mom. We're here so I have to go. Do you want anything?"

"No mom made chocolate cake so we already had that and I was hoping for some more desert when you get home."

"Dirty."

"I know but I couldn't help it."

"You could but you just choose not to. I'll talk to you when we get home."

"Alright. Bye Mer."

"Bye Der."

Meredith hung up the phone and her and Beth went in and enjoyed some ice cream. After they finished they started for home.

"Hey mom, dad. Do you mind if Mark and Alex stay over? We have a few more plays to go over and we want to get an early start tomorrow?" Derek asked as he entered the living room with Mark and Alex following behind.

"That's fine; it's too late for you two to drive home now." Cindy said right away.

"What's wrong?"

"It's almost 11 and Beth and Mer aren't home yet." Michael answered.

"What time are they supposed to be home?" Mark asked.

"11."

"I'm sure they are on their way home now."

"That's what I told your mother."

"Mer is never late. You know she is never late."

"Cindy you know how careful Mer is with driving. It was raining and I'm sure the roads were a little slick I'm sure she is just taking her time."

"She hasn't called." Cindy replied as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Alex said as he went to the door since he was the closest one to it. Alex opened the door and came face to face with a police officer.

"Is Mr. or Mrs. Shepherd home?"

"It's Doctor. Dr. Shepherd and yes they are both here." Alex said not knowing what else to say.

"Son, can we come in?"

Alex nodded and let them in. He led them to the living room.

Cindy saw Alex come back into the room. "Who was at the door Alex?"

Alex didn't have to answer as the two officers appeared. Michael quickly rose and approached them.

"Dr. Shepherd I'm Officer Comen and this is Officer Pike."

Michael didn't say anything instead he offered his hand and shook each of the officer's hands.

"Dr. Shepherd how about you take a seat?"

"Where are my daughters?" Cindy demanded.

"Cindy." Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her to him as he sat down on the couch. He turned back to the officers and spoke. "Just tell us why you are standing in my house at this time of night."

"There was an accident."

Cindy and Michael both tightened their grips on each other.

"Your daughter and Ms. Grey were taken to Seattle Grace."

"What happened?"

"We don't have all the details yet however from what we know Ms. Grey was driving when she was struck by a car that was fleeing an officer."

"What?"

"The car was suspected in a robbery attempt and an officer was attempting to pull him over when it went through a red light and struck Ms. Grey's vehicle. Both Ms. Grey and Ms. Shepherd were taken to the hospital however I do not know any more of their conditions."

"Michael we…we need to go." Cindy cried.

"We can escort you if you would like."

Michael nodded and helped his wife off the couch with him. He turned to Derek and for the first time saw the pain in his son's eyes. "Boys you can ride with us."

"I…I can drive dad."

"No Mark, none of you should be driving right now. We don't need any other accidents."

"We'll wait for you outside." Officer Comen said as he started to the door.

"Michael?"

"Ssh Cindy we don't know anything yet. Do you need anything before we go?"

Cindy shook her head no and both she and Michael started to the door with Derek, Mark, and Alex following behind. The drive to the hospital was quick and quiet.

When they arrived Michael immediately went to the nurses' station to find out more information. Soon a doctor came to let him know what was happening. He found out that Beth was taken into surgery due to some internal bleeding and she had a broken leg. Meredith however had not woke up since the accident. They were watching her because she had a concussion and a broken arm and she was being taken for a CT and MRI.

After what felt like forever Beth was moved from recovery to a room. Michael, Cindy, Derek, Mark, and Alex had entered the room and saw her. After seeing his sister resting peacefully in her bed Derek turned to his father. "Where is Mer?"

"She's getting an MRI and CT. Once they are finished if everything is okay she is to be brought to this room so they are together."

"How long before we know about Mer?"

Michael looked from Derek to Mark to Alex and back to Derek. "I know it's hard to wait but it shouldn't be too much longer."

"I don't like them being separated."

"I know Cindy that's why I'm going to make sure they are together but we have to wait for Beth to wake up and for Meredith's results."

"Just tell me they will both be okay?"

Michael was silent for a moment before responding. "I promise you that they both will get the best care possible and we will be here for them and…"

Cindy didn't let Michael finish instead she asked another question. "The sooner she wakes up the better right?"

Michael nodded. Neither of them said anything else while they held their daughters hands.

After about an hour Beth started to stir.

Meredith slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to the side however there was no one in the room. After a few more minutes she realized where she was and she remembered why she was there. She heard the door open and she immediately closed her eyes and pretended she was still asleep.

Two nurses came into the room and checked her vitals. While doing so they started talking. "I can't believe this happened to Dr. Shepherd." The first nurse said who Meredith could not recognize.

"I know I hope they will be okay."

"How can you be okay after such an accident?"

"I hope I never have to find out but I suppose it comes with the job." The second one finished as the two left the room.

Once the door closed Meredith opened her eyes as tears started rolling down her cheeks and she thought to herself. 'Beth…she can't be…Beth is dead and it's my fault…just like Jason…they can never forgive me…I have to leave, I have to get out of here, I don't want to see the pain, I can't see their pain.' Meredith slowly pulled herself out of bed and as quickly as she could she got dressed ignoring the pain she felt. She then headed out the door and out of Seattle Grace.

It had been easier than she thought. The halls were almost deserted so she didn't have to dodge many people and no one asked questions. For some unknown reason there was a cab outside when she got there and she gave instructions to the house that had become her home. She quickly ran in and threw some clothes in a bag. She didn't take much not wanting to take what they had given her. Once done she left a quick note and headed back to the cab where she gave her next destination.

"Mom, dad how is she?" Derek asked as he stood from the couch he had been sitting on.

"She's just waking up." Cindy said quickly holding onto Beth's hand.

Slowly her eyes opened and she looked right into her mother's before going to her father. "What…what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Michael asked trying to keep his eyes from the monitors.

Beth was silent for a few moments before her eyes met Michael's again. "We were coming home. We stopped at the red light for about 2 minutes before it finally turned green. The car in front of us pulled away and then Mer started driving. The car in front of us reached the other side of the intersection and we were right in the middle but I know the light was still green when…"

Beth looked around the room and realized she was missing Meredith. "Where is she?"

"It's okay sweetheart she's upstairs." Cindy said as she gently pushed Beth's shoulder back down since Beth had tried to get up.

"Why isn't she here is she okay?"

Cindy and Michael shared a look before Michael looked down to his daughter. "She hit her head in the accident honey, she hasn't woken up yet."

Beth got tears in her eyes as she looked between her parents. "It wasn't her fault daddy. The light was green, she didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't her fault."

"We know, the police officer told us Beth. You need to rest. You just had surgery and I'm going to have Meredith moved to this room as soon as her test results come back." Michael finished as his pager went off. He looked down and immediately looked back up to his wife. "I have to take this." He then went to the phone that was on the other side of the room and made the call as his wife continued to talk to the rest of his family. The nurse who had paged him told him what had happened and that enraged Michael. "What do you mean she's missing?"

After hearing Michael's raised voice conversation in the room stopped and all eyes went to Michael.

"What do you mean? I don't want your excuses, I told you to page me when the results are back. Never mind." Michael slammed down the phone as he turned back to his wife. "Cindy."

Cindy followed him out of the room. "Michael what was that?" Michael however didn't answer instead he walked further down the hall. "Michael?"

"Meredith is gone."

"What do you mean she's gone Michael? She was unconscious."

"It seems Meredith woke up and..."

Cindy didn't let him finish as she cut him off. "Is she okay, we have to go see her? Come on Michael let's tell Beth." Cindy had started walking back to Beth's room.

Michael caught up to his wife in front of Beth's room and stopped her. "Cindy wait. She is missing."

"What?" Cindy asked when she turned around to face her husband.

"The nurse said that she went in to check on her and she wasn't there. I think Meredith ran."

"Michael we have to find her. This wasn't her fault."

"I know Cindy I'm going to get Derek and then…"

"I'm coming with, let's tell Beth and get going."

"Cindy you need to stay with Beth and keep Mark and Alex here. Derek and I will bring Mer back."

"Michael."

"Cindy this is something I need to do let me bring her back."

Cindy looked closely into her husband's eyes and saw that he was right she silently nodded and they entered the room.

"Derek let's go." Michael said as he gave Cindy a hug and kiss. He watched her take a seat next to Beth as Derek came towards him with a questioning look. "I'll explain on the way."

"Michael?"

Michael turned back and looked directly at his wife. "It will be okay, fill them in and I'll call you I promise." Michael then turned and left the room with Derek following.

"Dad?" Derek asked confused as they entered the elevator.

"We need to find Mer."

"What do you mean find Mer?"

Michael started to tell Derek what had happened as they made their way down to the lobby and out to the car. "Where would she go Derek?"

"How long has it been since she left the hospital?"

"I don't know."

"We should try home first."

Michael nodded and drove to the house. The ride was silent.

As soon as Michael pulled into the driveway and stopped the car, Derek jumped out. Michael quickly followed and the two of them went up to Meredith's room. When they entered her room, they found it empty and there were some clothes on the bed.

Derek quickly entered the room and made his way to the nightstand next to her bed. He picked up the folded piece of paper and immediately recognized Meredith's handwriting. "It's from Mer."

"What does it say?"

_Der,_

_I can't find the words to tell you how terrible I feel for taking your baby sister from you. All I can say is that I am sorry, really really sorry. You opened your heart and your family to me and I did just what my mother said I would do…I hurt you all. You and your family wouldn't be going through this awful time if I had stayed away from you all. I am just so sorry. I want you to know that I only took the clothes I brought. Get rid of the rest so you don't have to remember me. The check is for dad…I mean your father. Please give it to his accountant so that he doesn't know where it came from. I also left the necklace that mom…Cindy…Mrs. Shepherd and your father gave me. I want you to know I am only taking my things please if they ever ask let them know that. Derek I want you to know I love you. I thought I couldn't live without you but the truth is I'd rather live knowing you and your family hate me than stay close and see it in your eyes. I hope we will meet again in my dreams…I will always love you._

_Mer_

_P.S. I did think of your parents as my parents, if sometime years from now they ever question that please let them know and I appreciated everything they have done for me more than I could ever tell them. _

_I'm so sorry!_

Once he finished reading he looked to his father. "She thinks Beth is dead and that it's her fault."

"She must have heard some of the nurses talking and miss understood them."

Derek and Michael were both quiet as they let the letter sink in before Michael spoke again. "Derek, where else would she go?"

Derek thought for a minute before he looked back to his dad and answered. "Jason. She would go to Jason."

"But Jason's…"

Derek didn't even give him a chance to finish as he walked out of the room however he yelled back. "The cemetery dad. It's the only other place she can go. Hurry we have to go."

Michael started to follow Derek and when he heard him yell back he picked up his pace and met Derek down at the car. He quickly got in and drove as Derek gave him directions.

"Where did dad go mom?"

Cindy looked to Beth and then looked to Mark and Alex before looking back to Beth. "Derek and your father went to get Meredith."

"She woke up…that's great…is she okay…is he going to have her moved to my room…is…"

"Wait a minute Beth slow down."

Mark and Alex had been silent however they had been watching Cindy since Derek and Michael had left the room. Both of them knew something was wrong.

Mark decided to speak up. "What's wrong mom? Why did dad get so upset and take Derek with him?"

Cindy looked at the two boys and decided it was best to just answer straight especially since she was too worried to come up with something different to tell them. "Meredith woke up and left the hospital. Your dad and Derek went to find her and bring her back."

Mark and Alex immediately stood and started for the door.

Cindy anticipated this and stood in front of them. "Hold on you two, where do you think you are going?"

"To help them find her."

"No you are not. Both of you sit down." Cindy paused and waited for them to do as she had said. "Good, now your father is going to find her and bring her back and we are going to wait here for them all to get back. I know you want to help but this is the best place for us to be. He doesn't need to be worrying about where you two went."

Mark and Alex both looked at each other before looking back to Cindy and they gave her a nod letting her know that they would do as she said. After that Cindy sat back down and the room was silent.

Michael pulled up to the cemetery and both immediately jumped out of the car. Michael then followed Derek as he led the way to Jason's grave. As they got closer both of them saw what they had been looking for.

There lying on the ground crying was Meredith.

Derek was the first to approach her and kneeled next to her. He softly put his hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there. "Mer."

Meredith felt Derek's hand but didn't look at him and her tears continued.

"Meredith please look at me."

"Go away Derek; go be with your family…they need you now."

Derek looked to his father with a question on his face.

Michael knew that he was the one that had to get through to her. Especially after what had happened with Jason and Ray. He stepped forward and motioned for Derek to get up. As Derek moved he took his spot by Meredith and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Meredith honey can you please look at me?"

When Meredith heard his voice and then felt his touch she quickly pulled away. ""I'm so sorry dad…Dr. Shepherd. Please just let me be."

"I can't do that honey."

"I didn't mean for anything to happen."

"I know you didn't, and nothing happened that was your fault."

Once she heard that she turned to look at him. "How can you say that? Beth is dead because of me…just like Jason."

Michael reached out and helped Meredith sit up before he put his finger under her chin and gently pulled up so she was looking him straight in the eyes. "You Meredith Grey did not do anything wrong. Jason dying was in no way your fault and Beth is not dead."

"My mom was right. I ended up hurting you and your family."

"Meredith, we are your family and you did not hurt us unless you count the fact that you have us out here with you instead of in the hospital with Beth and the others."

Just then it started to rain and the drops mixed with Meredith's tears. "I am so sorry Dr. Shepherd."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Meredith. Beth asked for you when she woke up. She is worried about you and so are we."

"But Beth…"

Michael stopped her and put both his hands on her shoulders as he spoke. "Meredith Beth is okay. She had some internal bleeding and a broken leg but I promise you she is okay."

"But I heard the nurses, they said you lost someone."

"I lost a patient earlier. That's why I was home earlier than expected but that's it."

"But, I'm so sorry that Beth is in the hospital." Meredith said as she continued to cry.

Michael pulled her to him and hugged her. "Honey the accident was not your fault, the police told us what happened and it wasn't your fault. Beth is going to be okay. I promise you this is not your fault and no one blames you for it."

Meredith finally listened to what he was saying and when he finished she gave into his hug and hugged him back. "I thought you would hate me like Ray did and I didn't…I couldn't see that look in your eyes."

Michael pulled back and again looked her in the eyes. "Honey I know it wasn't your fault and I promise you that nothing you do could ever make me hate one of my daughters."

Meredith just looked at him with her mouth open before she spoke. "Daughter?"

Michael smiled. "Meredith you have been like a daughter to me ever since Derek brought you home and that feeling has become even stronger the longer you have been with us. I love you Meredith and I know I can speak for Cindy as well and I can say she loves you just as much." Michael stopped as he looked to Derek and then he looked back to Meredith and lowered his voice a little. "I also know that a certain young man standing behind me loves you very much and none of us want you to leave."

As the smile appeared on her lips she hugged him again. "I love you too…dad."

Michael gave her one more squeeze before he stood and then helped her stand. He watched as she walked to Derek and gave him a hug.

"I love you Mer…don't ever leave like that again."

"I won't and I love you too Der."

"Alright, you two. Let's get back before your mother comes looking for us along with Mark and Alex."

The three started to head back to the car and right before they got to the car, Meredith fainted. Luckily Derek caught her before she hit the ground. "Dad."

Michael quickly came up and looked her over. "She'll be okay Derek. She's in shock; we just need to get her back to the hospital so we can make sure everything is okay."

Derek nodded and quickly got in the car as Michael helped get Meredith in before he went around to the passenger's side and started back to the hospital. On the way he called Cindy and told her what happened so that she could let the others know. She said she would meet them at the door so she could see with her own eyes that Meredith was okay.

_The accident brought back memories of the first accident. I know it was different than that one but I really thought Beth had died. That thought was unbearable and I had to get away so I did what I do best and ran. It had been awhile since I had ran but it was the first time that something that terrible had happened since I started living with the Shepherds._

_When Ray hurt me he didn't hurt anyone else. When I got the cancer it didn't affect anyone else. I know it affected the Shepherds but I knew if anything happened to me they would go on. When Derek got in his accident it hurt the Shepherds and me but I knew how to fix it and I went back to my mom and Ray. Again only I was hurt so there was never a reason to run. But when I heard what I heard and thought about Beth I knew that running was the only answer._

_I never thought anyone would run after me let alone dad. I'm glad he did and I learned after that what it means to really be part of a family. _

_Once we got back to the hospital dad took care of me. He had some more tests run and then I was brought to Beth's room. When I saw that she was indeed okay tears came to my eyes. I wasn't able to give her a hug because as I tried to get out of the bed mom gave me a look and I knew I had to stay there so instead I reached out and grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze._

_Beth and I were both in the hospital for a few days and all the sisters came to visit. I also got an ear full from mom and dad was right by her side agreeing with everything she said and a couple times he even commented that he had already told me that. I couldn't help but smile and once she was finished I told them both that it wouldn't happen again because I knew I was part of the family and I wasn't going to take that for granted._

_Derek also had a conversation with me. I saw tears in his eyes because he was so worried that he had lost me. That made me cry after realizing that he really does love me and I knew that he felt for me what I feel for him. It is the best feeling ever._

_Senior year went on without any other drama besides figuring out which college to go to. Then of course we had to agree on a medical school. All my life I had said that I wanted to be as far away from Seattle as I could get. Knowing what I know now I just wanted to be away from those I thought were my family. Now that I know who my real family is I don't want to be so far away from them so we stayed as close as possible and we went home as much as possible. Besides, mom and dad wouldn't have had it any other way._

Note: I'm sorry this has taken so long to get up...there is one more chapter which should not take as long since I want to get this story finished so I can finish my other one. I hope you enjoy and if you have a few minutes please review.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you thinking about Mer?"

Meredith turned and saw Derek standing beside her. "I was just thinking about how we got here."

"How we got where?"

"Here, in this moment. We are going to be doctor's in a few days. I honestly didn't think it was possible."

Derek smiled as he sat next to me. We were in the living room. Graduation was in three days and we had decided to spend the days with our family.

"We've had some tough years haven't we? I'm glad we made it and we all did it together."

"It's amazing. I'm so glad that we all are going to Seattle Grace for our internship. Do you really think dad will be able to handle us?"

A laugh was heard behind them as they turned around and saw the source of the laugh.

"I don't think you need to worry about me handling you all. Derek mom wants you in the kitchen." Michael said as he took a seat next to Meredith.

Derek gave Meredith a kiss before he left the room.

"I'm proud of you honey." Michael said as he put his arm around her.

Meredith smiled. "Thanks. I can't believe where I am. For so long all I was looking forward to was graduating high school. I knew I wanted to be a doctor but deep down I had a feeling it wouldn't happen because graduating high school meant I was free and I hadn't thought to far ahead after that. After coming to live with you all I started thinking about the future past high school."

"I'm glad you came into our lives Meredith."

"You guys saved me and gave me a future but most importantly you gave me a family. I don't know what I did to deserve you all but I'm glad I got you"

"It's us who are happy that we got you Meredith, especially Derek I assume." Michael said with a smile and wink.

Footsteps were heard and both occupants turned and saw Cindy come into the room. Meredith and Michael both smiled at her.

"Even after all these years you still can't take a compliment." Cindy said as she saw Meredith blush and look down to the book she had. "What's that if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's my journal."

"I didn't know you kept a journal dear."

"That's because I hid it well mom. I started after I came back sophomore year in high school."

"I think all our girls have kept diaries."

"Yes they have Cindy and if my memory serves me right Derek, Mark, and Alex have found each one over the years."

Cindy and Michael shared a smile at the memories of the girls getting upset that the boys had read their diaries.

"I wonder why they never found yours."

"Mmmm" Meredith replied. "Well really you all know everything that I have written in it so I suppose they didn't need to look for it. Either that or they didn't know I kept one."

Michael and Cindy both understood and didn't need to reply as others came into the room.

"Hey Meredith, mom, and dad. Hope you don't mind that we are early."

"Of course not Kathleen. Where are the kids?"

"In the play room. Nancy's and Amelia's kids are there as well."

"So what are you all doing here this early?"

"Well Meredith we thought it would be nice to spend some time with you all before you start your internship and we never see you again."

"Very funny." Meredith rolled her eyes as Derek and the others came into the room. She also noticed that Mark, Alex, and Izzie have all come as well. "Okay, why are you all here?"

"Well you see…"

"The truth Mark."

Derek saw Mark about to respond and decided that it would be better for him to respond. "Mer." Derek said and then stopped not quite sure how to continue.

"Yes Der."

Derek looked into Meredith's eyes and was at a loss for words.

"Nice start baby brother."

Derek's eyes snapped to Kathleen who had a smirk on her face.

"Okay now I know something is going on and it seems like you all know so let me in on the secret."

Derek took a few steps forward and sat on the end table in front of Meredith and grabbed her hand.

"Derek you are scaring me."

"Mer I love you."

"I love you too, now what is going on?"

"Okay this is hard enough as it is so can you not say anything for about 60 seconds?" Derek asked and then waited for Meredith to nod before he continued. "What I was saying is I love you. More than I ever thought was possible. When you came into our lives I know you needed us but the truth is I needed you just as much. You make it easy to be me, you are bossy, and you keep me in line. You have been there for me through all the good times and bad over the last 10 years. And I know you are already part of our family however I want to make it official. Meredith Grey will you marry me and really be a Shepherd?"

Meredith sat wide eyed looking at Derek. She saw he was finished but she didn't respond.

"Mer…Meredith will you marry me?"

Michael elbowed her softly. "Mer honey you should answer him."

Meredith shook her head and looked to Michael with a smile however she lowered her voice just a little. "Has it been 60 seconds yet?"

One hearing her question the entire room broke into laughter except for Derek.

Meredith saw the look on his face and quickly stood pulling on Derek's hand to join her. As she stood the entire room grew quiet again. Meredith looked Derek in the eyes and spoke. "Meredith Elizabeth Shepherd. I think I like the sound of that." She said and then paused.

Derek looked deep in her eyes and asked…"Mer?"

"Yes Derek Christopher Shepherd, I will marry you."

Derek immediately wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss while the others in the room cheered.

Graduation came and it was a wonderful day. The entire family was there to celebrate for everyone and they all went out to dinner.

It was two days after when Meredith received a letter. She opened it and started reading however she couldn't finish. She went into the kitchen where she found mom and dad talking. They turned and saw her and immediately knew something was wrong. She sat at the table and told them she needed them to get Derek.

Michael immediately called him and they only needed to wait 10 minutes before he walked through the door and went to Meredith who had tears in her eyes.

After he pulled her into a hug he asked, "What happened?"

"She came in with that letter. We don't know anything else." Cindy answered.

Derek then looked to Meredith. "Mer, what's in the letter?"

In between sniffles she answered. "It's from Ellis. I couldn't finish it by myself."

"Is it okay if I read it?"

Meredith nodded and Derek grabbed the letter and started to read.

It was from Ellis. She started the letter by saying how proud she was of Meredith for graduating college and becoming a doctor. She then went on to say that she was sick. She had early onset Alziemers and she wanted Meredith to know. She also said that she was going to be coming back to Seattle and would be in an assisted living facility. She then stated that Meredith did not need to do anything because everything was already taken care of. She just wanted her to know.

"What do I do?" Meredith asked as she looked from Cindy and Michael to Derek.

"You don't have to worry about anything Meredith."

"I know she said that but…"

"I mean that we are here for you and Ellis. Neither of you are going to have to deal with this alone." Cindy said.

Meredith looked at the two adults.

"Your mother is right honey. We are here for you and Ellis. I'm glad you shared this news with us."

"You are my family…who else would I share it with?"

Each of them got up and gave her a hug. Once Meredith pulled herself together they all talked about what they were going to do. Once they were finished Derek took Meredith out for dinner. Later they came home and Cindy had made desert that everyone enjoyed together.

_This is it…the final chapter in this story. The day Derek asked me to marry him was the second happiest day of my life. Why the second…well the first was the day I let the Shepherds into my life and realized they were my family. _

_Our graduation from medical school was great. It was amazing having all our family there and being able to do it with all our friends together made it even more special._

_Receiving the letter from Ellis was unexpected. I thought she had forgotten about me. She told me she was proud of me. I needed to share that with my family and after everything that I had been through it was the easiest thing for me to do._

_I guess looking back now I can say that for me, growing up fast wasn't a bad thing. And when it comes down to it yeah I didn't have the best of childhoods but the Shepherds made sure that I had some through high school so it could have been a lot worse._

_The wedding is being planned as we speak. I asked Michael to walk me down the aisle and he said yes. And of course all the sisters will be bridesmaids along with Izzie. I never thought I would want a big wedding or maybe it was that I never thought I would have a wedding. Either way now that it is officially being planned I am so excited and for once I don't feel like the other shoe is going to drop._

_No wait maybe it's that I don't care if the other shoe drops because I know that my family will be there with me no matter what happens. And besides, now I have a thing for flip flops which aren't that heavy anyway._

"Wow."

"Yeah wow."

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I never knew everything that I had put you through and I'm sorry. Really sorry."

"You couldn't know because I never told you. I couldn't tell you and besides I didn't think you would believe me."

"I guess you are right. I'm glad you have the Shepherds Meredith. It makes this all so much easier knowing that when I leave you, you won't be alone."

Meredith smiled and gave Ellis a hug. "You helped with that you know. When Ray died you let me stay with them. I didn't realize at the time how much I needed them."

"I'm glad I did one thing right by you Meredith."

"You did others. I remember before Thatcher left, there were good times."

Ellis smiled. "Yes I suppose there were. I just wish there had been more. Maybe then you wouldn't have had to keep that journal."

"All girls keep a journal."

"I guess you are right."

Meredith looked at the clock. "I need to go. My shift starts in 30 minutes and I need to stop at home quickly and pick up Derek."

"Alright. Take care and I'll see you later." Ellis stood and gave Meredith a hug before she watched her walk out.

"Hey Derek lets go so we aren't late."

Derek looked up from the couch as he saw his fiancé walk in and smiled. "Okay I'm coming. Just let me grab my coat." Derek said as he got up and grabbed his coat before following her back out of the apartment.

Once they got in the car he turned to her and asked. "How did the visit go?"

"It went good. I let her read my journal and she apologized for everything."

"Wow. Are you alright?"

Meredith took a breath before answering. "Yes I am. I'm glad she told me and that she is letting us see her. I know it's going to get harder but I'm glad that I get this time with her before it gets worse."

"I would guess that it makes it easier to forgive."

"Honestly Derek there isn't anything to forgive. I went through what I did and it brought me to where I am now. If I hadn't I don't know if we would be here now and I know with all my heart I wouldn't change a thing." Meredith finished with a smile as Derek parked the car.

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "You are amazing. And I wouldn't change anything either." When he finished he got out and opened the door for her.

They started to the hospital and met their friends in the locker room. It was their first day and after getting changed they were given their assignments.

As they made their way out of the locker room Derek leaned over to Mer. "By the way…the answer to your question is no."

Meredith stopped and looked at him. "What question?"

"The one you asked about if anyone would feel the same way."

"Derek Shepherd what are you talking about?"

Mark and Alex rolled their eyes as Mark answered her. "The one at the beginning of your journal."

Then Alex added. "The girl you overheard talking…there is no way she would feel the same way knowing that she would have to go through what you went through, no one else is as strong as you."

Once Alex finished him and Mark looked at each other with a smile before turning back to see the shocked look on Meredith's face.

Meredith took in what they had said and she turned to Derek and then looked at Mark and Alex again. It didn't take much longer for her to realize what that meant. "You all read my journal?"

All three men shook their heads and started walking towards their resident.

"Derek Shepherd, Mark Sloan, and Alex Karev you are all in so much trouble." She quickly said catching up to them.

Izzie looked at the four as they came to stand beside her. "So you finally told her that you read her journal."

Meredith turned her head to Izzie. "You knew?"

Izzie smiled. "Of course I did. Mark can't keep a secret to save his life."

"Hey I didn't tell her."

"That's because you told me."

"Well I didn't tell her about the proposal."

"Okay so you are getting better at keeping them."

Before anyone could reply they heard their names being called. "Grey, Shepherd, Sloan, Karev, and Stephens."

All five took off down the hall as Meredith said under her breath. "I am so calling mom and dad when we get off."

As they were running down the hall they all laughed at her comment and started their first official day as interns and the first chapter of their next story.

Note: That's it…the end. I can't believe I finally finished posting this story and I can't believe it was the first story I wrote after I fell in love with Grey's. Thank-you all who have continued to read and a special thank-you to those that reviewed.


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